Thursday, March 01, 2007
2 Weeks Ago...
2 weeks ago, kaedahnye - I was AWAY katanya. But memandangkan I was very der very busy, sampai mek terlupa buat something yang mek selalu buat before I pergi memana - iaitiew, buat entry "I'm Away", kan? Patut la ramai cam blur blur katanya.
"Lea gi oversea?"
"Lea DQ dan tutup blog?"
"Lea gi UMRAH?"
Adehhh - memacam! Hiks! Tak pa tak pa. Nanti mek story, nah? As for now, cukup la mek simpulkan entry nih sebeginiey...
"I WAS AWAY - BUT NOW AM BACK" dan nak zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sepuas puasnya dan secukup cukupnya sebab for the past 2 weeks memang mek tak cukup tidur, rehat ke mana apa ke mana, so mek penat. Nanti mek dah ok, sehari dua nih, ade la hapdetsnye yer - MATI LAH 13 days = 13 episodes = 13 entries katanya? Mrasa! Hahahaha...
Till then... addduuuiiiiii....
"Lea gi oversea?"
"Lea DQ dan tutup blog?"
"Lea gi UMRAH?"
Adehhh - memacam! Hiks! Tak pa tak pa. Nanti mek story, nah? As for now, cukup la mek simpulkan entry nih sebeginiey...
"I WAS AWAY - BUT NOW AM BACK" dan nak zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sepuas puasnya dan secukup cukupnya sebab for the past 2 weeks memang mek tak cukup tidur, rehat ke mana apa ke mana, so mek penat. Nanti mek dah ok, sehari dua nih, ade la hapdetsnye yer - MATI LAH 13 days = 13 episodes = 13 entries katanya? Mrasa! Hahahaha...
Till then... addduuuiiiiii....
TAMBAHAN: Actually, mek rindu gilos nak berblogging. Lately if u guys noticed, even before the trip yang mek gi for the past two weeks nih kan, mak kan very der jarang gilos nak update blog and what not bagai tatkala busy yaamats, kan? Because of kebusian itiew lah mek tak dapat nak update blog bagai dan ini membuatkan mek rindu gile kat my own blog, rindu nak type entry 3000 patah perkataan dan update 3 4 entries per day - kan? Hiks! Tah lah u ols - harap2 lepas mek balik nih dan mek rest couple of days, hopefully mek leh resume buat blog mek nih dah update with the entries pasal trip mek ke timur tengah iniey... hiks!
Ok - Final call dosi katanya ke gate A11. Yer, mek masih di KLIA yer kat Golden Lounge tgh tunggu flight mek balik ke A/S. Do till then, duiiiii!!!
Ok - Final call dosi katanya ke gate A11. Yer, mek masih di KLIA yer kat Golden Lounge tgh tunggu flight mek balik ke A/S. Do till then, duiiiii!!!
Thursday, February 08, 2007
The "Usual" Questions; The "Bombastic" Answers...
Just a short entry, which mek rase mek sker sangat sebab biarpun short, contentnya simple, tapi jawapan² yang telah diberi, mek rase cam - erm, tah - geraaaaaaaand sangat! Hiks! Mrasa!
Questions asked to H**z, The Expert in giving spontaneous answers... and a grand b*tch if I may say (a grand b*tch in a good way lar! Aiyoh!)...
QUESTION: H**z, tell us all, three things, that you cannot live without?
H**z: (Sambil senyum kekwat) - My d*ck, my a*s, and my mouth!!!
MY COMMENT: BRAVO! SHABAS! U're a certified true slut who appreciates your important assets! Mek sujud! Like, tanpa these 3 essential asset of yours, maka, punahlah kehidupan hanak² hikan innocent, kan? Hiks!
MY ANSWER (Tetap nih nakkk jugak mrasa nak melawan mega b*tch H**z nih punye jawapan, kan? Muahahah): The three most important things in my life that I cannot live without would be my bra, my panties and my paddings! WOPPPS! (DISCLAIMER: Kepada para contestas Miss U-nivarse 2007, jawapan sebegini rupa tak digalakkan yer bila melalui sessi Q/A Top 10, tapi kalau nak cuba jugak, mrasalah! Yer la kan, maaaaaaanala tau, satgi kang, kot² hampa dah dok elok² dalam lane running for the final 5, mrasalah dengan jawapan cam tu, hampa terus menang ok, CEMANA!? Hahaha! Mek terus pengsan!)
QUESTION: In your own words, how would you differentiate "Making Love" and "Having Sex"?
H**z: That's easy... (sambil buff his nails)... "Making Love" is when I don't cumm, "Having Sex" is when I cumm!
MY COMMENT: Mek terdiam sat! Macam kesial jawapan dia, kan!? HAHAHAHA mek sujud!
MY ANSWER: That's easy also (sambil buat Manicure - kalau H**z skadar BUFF his nails, mrasa mek terus kuarkan set Manicure! HAHAHA)... "Making Love" is filled with passion, feelings and the sensation of building an everlasting commitment - whereas "Having Sex" is just a plain sweaty game between two hopeless and heartless people, trying to waste their time, energy, and most importantly, their PROTEINS! Ops!
PS: Siapakah H**z? 5thE, Volksie, Maheera, Archmal and Ijat Tenuk, surely dah leh figure out siapakah dia, KAN!? Mati la perjumpa Ahli Parti Slutterinas di Restoren Fariz Maju Kelana Jaya semalam! LALALALALALA!
Next up, the question, asked to Miss Freda, Miss World 1991 (or was it 1990? Tah - mek pon tak sure. Tapi somewhat somewhere within those years la kan - di zaman era kegemilangannye... dan NO, ini bukan Miss Freida Ghengis Gahuku, Miss Papua New Guinea, Miss Personality World 2006 hari tu tuh tau! Hiks!) This question I think was asked during one of the pageants yang she took part in rasenye... (eh, kalau tak silap, it was during the Miss World pageant yang dia menang tu la kan, kan Volksie?)
QUESTION: As a woman, if given that chance to become a man, just for that one day, what would be the 1st thing you would do?
Freda: Thank you for the question. If I have that chance of becoming a man, for just one day, or even, for just one minute, the one thing I would most definitely like to do would be standing in front of a toilet bowl, and pee while I stand!
MY COMMENT: Ko mampu!? Mek mampu ok! Dan dosi terbukti - di mana? Mati la Gazebo SS15's Ladies Restroom, kan!? Hahahahah I pity the girl who had to like to berdiri terpacak diam sekejap while tgk the toilet bowl bersepah dengan shi shi mek! HAHAHA MATI LA MEK! Mati la pancutan deras yang tajam terus menerus ditembak kedalam air dalam toilet bowl itiew! LOL! Mek pengsan! Hahahaha...
MY ANSWER (Kalau Freda Miss World 1990 or 1991 tu jawab gitiew, mrasalah nengok how Miss World 2006 jawab piuler - ops! Bragging kah? LALALALALA 1st and the last? LALALALALALA!): Thank you for the question. Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and to all the judges. If I'm that lucky person, to be granted the chance to be a man, for just one day, the 1st thing I would do, would be what men normally do when they wake up every morning - WANK! (sambil tunjukkan lakonan/ adengan cikcap dengan mimik muka kepuasan sekali! Hahahaha mati la mek disqualified sebab LUCAH!) Thank you... (hahaha sial! Sempat nak THANK YOU last last tu! Hahahah!)
SO - that's it! Cukup la - katanya short and simple with minimal content entry, kan? Hahahah motif nak dilabelkan as 6-Parts entry lagi? *Sambil jeling kat Archmal - sial kan ko carut mek bertubi² semalam!? Hahaha*
Questions asked to H**z, The Expert in giving spontaneous answers... and a grand b*tch if I may say (a grand b*tch in a good way lar! Aiyoh!)...
QUESTION: H**z, tell us all, three things, that you cannot live without?
H**z: (Sambil senyum kekwat) - My d*ck, my a*s, and my mouth!!!
MY COMMENT: BRAVO! SHABAS! U're a certified true slut who appreciates your important assets! Mek sujud! Like, tanpa these 3 essential asset of yours, maka, punahlah kehidupan hanak² hikan innocent, kan? Hiks!
MY ANSWER (Tetap nih nakkk jugak mrasa nak melawan mega b*tch H**z nih punye jawapan, kan? Muahahah): The three most important things in my life that I cannot live without would be my bra, my panties and my paddings! WOPPPS! (DISCLAIMER: Kepada para contestas Miss U-nivarse 2007, jawapan sebegini rupa tak digalakkan yer bila melalui sessi Q/A Top 10, tapi kalau nak cuba jugak, mrasalah! Yer la kan, maaaaaaanala tau, satgi kang, kot² hampa dah dok elok² dalam lane running for the final 5, mrasalah dengan jawapan cam tu, hampa terus menang ok, CEMANA!? Hahaha! Mek terus pengsan!)
QUESTION: In your own words, how would you differentiate "Making Love" and "Having Sex"?
H**z: That's easy... (sambil buff his nails)... "Making Love" is when I don't cumm, "Having Sex" is when I cumm!
MY COMMENT: Mek terdiam sat! Macam kesial jawapan dia, kan!? HAHAHAHA mek sujud!
MY ANSWER: That's easy also (sambil buat Manicure - kalau H**z skadar BUFF his nails, mrasa mek terus kuarkan set Manicure! HAHAHA)... "Making Love" is filled with passion, feelings and the sensation of building an everlasting commitment - whereas "Having Sex" is just a plain sweaty game between two hopeless and heartless people, trying to waste their time, energy, and most importantly, their PROTEINS! Ops!
PS: Siapakah H**z? 5thE, Volksie, Maheera, Archmal and Ijat Tenuk, surely dah leh figure out siapakah dia, KAN!? Mati la perjumpa Ahli Parti Slutterinas di Restoren Fariz Maju Kelana Jaya semalam! LALALALALALA!
Next up, the question, asked to Miss Freda, Miss World 1991 (or was it 1990? Tah - mek pon tak sure. Tapi somewhat somewhere within those years la kan - di zaman era kegemilangannye... dan NO, ini bukan Miss Freida Ghengis Gahuku, Miss Papua New Guinea, Miss Personality World 2006 hari tu tuh tau! Hiks!) This question I think was asked during one of the pageants yang she took part in rasenye... (eh, kalau tak silap, it was during the Miss World pageant yang dia menang tu la kan, kan Volksie?)
QUESTION: As a woman, if given that chance to become a man, just for that one day, what would be the 1st thing you would do?
Freda: Thank you for the question. If I have that chance of becoming a man, for just one day, or even, for just one minute, the one thing I would most definitely like to do would be standing in front of a toilet bowl, and pee while I stand!
MY COMMENT: Ko mampu!? Mek mampu ok! Dan dosi terbukti - di mana? Mati la Gazebo SS15's Ladies Restroom, kan!? Hahahahah I pity the girl who had to like to berdiri terpacak diam sekejap while tgk the toilet bowl bersepah dengan shi shi mek! HAHAHA MATI LA MEK! Mati la pancutan deras yang tajam terus menerus ditembak kedalam air dalam toilet bowl itiew! LOL! Mek pengsan! Hahahaha...
MY ANSWER (Kalau Freda Miss World 1990 or 1991 tu jawab gitiew, mrasalah nengok how Miss World 2006 jawab piuler - ops! Bragging kah? LALALALALA 1st and the last? LALALALALALA!): Thank you for the question. Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and to all the judges. If I'm that lucky person, to be granted the chance to be a man, for just one day, the 1st thing I would do, would be what men normally do when they wake up every morning - WANK! (sambil tunjukkan lakonan/ adengan cikcap dengan mimik muka kepuasan sekali! Hahahaha mati la mek disqualified sebab LUCAH!) Thank you... (hahaha sial! Sempat nak THANK YOU last last tu! Hahahah!)
SO - that's it! Cukup la - katanya short and simple with minimal content entry, kan? Hahahah motif nak dilabelkan as 6-Parts entry lagi? *Sambil jeling kat Archmal - sial kan ko carut mek bertubi² semalam!? Hahaha*
Monday, February 05, 2007
Fotopages mek telah diupdate lagi!!!
Yes! Plain simple - tajuknye sajork dah says it all! Fotopages mek, yang sekarang sebok dilanda lelalatans katanya, ado updates lagi ok! Hiks! Mrasalah both updates to thanks to hari ni yang sunggoh istimewa, dimana mek telah terjun masuk ke dalam bundle Gunung Keriang, dan also, hari ini dalam sejarah mek nengok EMPING KERABU dan KUIH CAKAQ AYAM! Hiks! Sama² kita saksikan all, hanya di FP mek! Lets la nah!?
Tudiah! Pilih noooo jgn tak pilih! Bertimbun baju², skirt², dress², seluaq² bagai, all dicampak longgokkan kat sini. YOU'LL BE SURPRISED to jumpa baju² yang STILL dalam keadaan elok² taw dalam longgokkan RM1 nih!
Ha hat nih confirm lah elok² semuanya katanya sebab masih digantung bagai. Pun begitu, jgn pandang sebelah mata. Dikala membeli, perhati²kan lah, belek²kan lah dulu elok² - kot² la... kan? Hiks! Kat sini semuanya ada yang RM2, RM3, dan RM5. Paling cikhals sekals, RM15... RM6, 4, 7, 8, 10, 9, 11, 12, 14,13? ADE MEK SEBUT!? Hehehe tak sebut sebab NAN ADO lah! Hiks!
Setiap harga ade colored tag yang berbeza - jadi senang lah nak check hat nih brapa hat nuh brapa, kan?
MEK TERDIAM SAT!
Nih la dia EMPING KERABU yang sepanjang 27 nak masuk 28 tahun mek hidup, tak pernah pon mek tau ado, dan tak pernah pulak mek tau dan tak pernah pulak teringin mek nak rasa cemana sebab mek PEGHAK! Mati la mek!
Biskut/ Roti Bergula - me loikkkeee the tradisional JAWBREAKER katanya! Keras jugak nih! RANGUP is the best word to describe it! :)
KUIH CAKAQ AYAM - mek pon dinch hui kenapasal depa panggei dia kuih cakaq ayam. Maybe sebab, erm, kuih nih dihasilkan oleh ayams² yang bercakarans? Kan? Hiks!
Well now - enjoy the pics!!! :)
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Entry "Tadak Kerjer" La Inieyyy!!!
KAN!? Motifnya? Semalam pi Tesco SP pi membelik itiew Ferrero Rocher (SEMATA² nih) utuk buat photoshoot!? Muahahahahah! Semalam like nan ado lighting melerts katanya so dibiarkan dulu kotak cokelat itiew TAK DISENTUH yer walaupun teruja dan tempted sangat nak bukak and makan! Aiyoh! Sabar jer la. So mek simpan sampai siang tadi, baru mek snappy lite². TU pon mek rase sebab takder lighting terang sunlight bagai tu yang buat close-up shots jadiknye macam anjengs korazon resultsnya, KAN!? Sentiap!
Kadang² rase cam sayangggggggggg sangat nak bukak dan makan cekelat nih sebab elok sangat packaging nyer! HIks!
Anyways, apa kesahnye tentang me, photoshoot, Ferrero Rocher? Heheheh kesahnye - TAK DER KESAH, TAK DER KEJE dan TAK DER KAITANNYE! Muahahahha! Sajer kempunan nak makan cekelat katanya, so membeli la Ferrero Rocher itiew. Dan kerana tak der modal nak snappy apo, mrasalah cekelat pon disnappy²kan nye - MEMANG tadak keje! HAHAHA!
U ols - kotak dia sangat canteks! Kata Mami Zack Zali "Lea, hang leh simpan diamond diamond hang! Kotak dia cantek! Baik hang belik cokelat nih!" Kan!? Hahahaha
Cekelat nih kalau ikut dalam advert dalam tv, dibuatnye sebagai bunga penganten katanya, kan? Aiyoh! Gigih sekals! Bagi kite belah² sini, contoh, CA!, dia guna buat hantaran. Curlast dia buat! Mek curik satu pon dia bukan sedaq! OPS!
Yang "MEWAH" sangat cekelat nih bukan ape pon - sebab its wrapped in GOLD WRAPPER sajork! Ops!
Dan apa mek buat dengan cekelat nih? MAKAN LAH!
Aiyoh! Apakah tujuan entry nih!? Heheh wallahua'lam... ;)
*Tetiber mek terasa nak bawak cekelat nih pi ke garden luar umah mek tu where got terrific sunlight katanya dan buat photoshoot close up shots - hiks! Tgk la cemana satgi, kalau2 mek rajin katanya... ;)
Aiyoh! Apakah tujuan entry nih!? Heheh wallahua'lam... ;)
*Tetiber mek terasa nak bawak cekelat nih pi ke garden luar umah mek tu where got terrific sunlight katanya dan buat photoshoot close up shots - hiks! Tgk la cemana satgi, kalau2 mek rajin katanya... ;)
KAN!?
Terliur dak!? Pi belikkk cepats! Hiks!
IKUTI: Cara pemakanan Ferrero Rocher Chocolates, STEP by STEP, hanya di MY FOTOPAGES. Mrasa!
"Hari tu kan... kami makan Seafood tauuu..."
Hikhikhik! Tajuk entry very der bebudak sekolah nak habaq kat sesama kawan sekelas sekolah rendah, like... "Hey u ols! Hari tu kan, ha, kami pi makan seafood kat Kuala Perlis... Best wooooo! Hampa tadak!"*
*1: Motif sekolah rendah, dah ber "HEY U OLS!?" Dah terserlah ker keperibadian hadek²?
*2: Motif HAMPA TADAK!? Tadak apa tatau!? Hahahahaha like ala ala "Na na na na naaa naaa! Kami ada... hampa tadak..." But still, TADAK APA TATAU!? Hahaha
Whatever it is - tarkir la kan. Janjinya, mek nak ghoyat (or is it Ghoyak? Mati la tak tau nak kecek Kelate tetap terkinja² nak cakap jugak, kan? Muahahahah). Anyways, mek nak habaq, hari tu, Rabu malam kot, mek ikut si Najib csi_X dengan kawan kami tu, si Juju (Kak Ju) tu pi makan Seafood katanya kat Kuala Perlis. GIGIH nih! Selain Juju dan Najib, mrasalah teman² rapat kami yang terdiri dari A, B, C, D and E also hadir yer... (motif nama dirahsiakan sedangkan gambaq nanti terpampang muka depa?! Muahahahaha mek tau A, B, C jer with their names - D dan E mek baru kenai malam tu so nama nan ado mek tau pon! HAHAHA).
Nak dijadikan citer - waktu nak pi tu dari A/S, mek nengok si A berjacket wind-braker bagai nih. Ala ala mek carut "Motif ko nak pi Kuala Perlis or pi US!? Windily winter kah di Kuala Perlis?" lalu si A cakap "Tunggguuuu... tgk la satgi sapa yang terketaq² sejuk...". Mek macam, MOTIF kat Kuala Perlis sejuk? Owh well I know tempat kami nak pi makan tu memang la tepi laut - tapi, MOTIF SEJUK sampai bersiap nak pi ke US!?
Sampai² jer kat Kuala Perlis (selepas like sejam setengah selepas mek kuar dari umah katanya - nak pi tu dalam 45 minutes jer. Selebihnya, sebok pi beli rokok SKL si csi_X tu katanya kat hujung pekan A/S tu - semata² nih! Gara² kedai tuuu sajork yang jual rokok SKL ala ala mek tersebut SLK yang berperisa persis sisha itiew... dan jugak menunggu B, C, D, E siap also... tu yang lambat tu) - anyways, sesampai jer kami kat KP (Kuala Perlis) like around 10nish gitu la - mak aih! Ramai nih kelibat manusia. Waktu tu Juju, csi_X ngan mek jer sampai dulu. Groupie kedua belom sampai. Mrasalah terpinga² kami cari tempat nak duduk sebab ramai sekals manusia malam tu. Dan whats worse, aiyoh, MEMANG SEJUK GIL GIL BABS sundel! Mek surprised! Duduk tepi laut ke, tepi Antartika?! Or is it Atlantic? Eh - tu laut, kan? Mati la IGGY! Hahahahahaha (Yer Yazrie - motif hang nak bersms sesorry bagai? Dinch perlu la u ols - maati la mek teringat IGGY teringat hang nye SMS! Hiks!)
So dalam pada dok cari tempat duduk tu, ada 2 benda terjadik.
1. The wind was soooo kuat katanya, sampai ia mempelantingkan pinggan mangkun bagai atas this one meja - aiyoyoh! Sangat kuat sundal angin nye. Otak mek dah mula pikiaq bukan² dah. DON'T ASK! Aiyoh mek serams sejuk sundel... dah la memang sejuk pong, kan? Hiks!
2. Tgh dok cari² tempat duduk strategic kaedahnye nampak Datin (or is it Datin Seri?) Normala Shamsuddin katanya dengan husbandnye dengan kawan² diaorang tgh menikmati seafood also katanya. Datin Normala (Help! Is it just Datin or Datin Seri? Mek rase ade Seri, kan?) looked radiant and lovely as ever. Mek tak snappy² pon - kuasa lah. Lagipun mek personally dah jumpa dia upclose and personal dalam one of my flights dulu - lovely lady la dia tu. Mek sker! Cantik + baik hati = good combi, kan? Kekekekekeke. The husband pulak 1st time mek nengok live - not bad aih! Ops! Tapi yang mek nyampah nengok, selain dari rerempitans dan jejesnitaans (Jesnita is feminine for Rempits - ops!) dok sebok nak usya Datin itiew, and when like she jalan, all these ppl nak sort of like smile and make the Datin notices them watching her (ewsss!), mek nyampah tgk "TUKANG KIPAS" sikit punya banyak! Aiyoh! PLASTIC sangat! Kipas for their own benifit! Mek tau la BBD dulu orang gomen - mek dah banyak/ selalu tgk orang kipas mengipas - kowser lah!
So anyways, dah lepas pada tu, kami pon order mengorder bagai la makan semua nih kan since si csi_X yang mau kebelanjaan, kan? Tapi si csi_X haram tatau sangat pasal seafood - mujoq lah Juju ado. TU pon tak tau banyak sangat, mrasalah mujur mekkkk jugak yang ado - pi orderans itiew iniey! Hiks! Dan by that time, A, B, C, D and E dosi kesampaian bagai semua - and tetiber, as kami menunggu our meals to arrive, kaedahnye, lampu kalimantang kat atas ceiling kedai itiew, jatuh tak semena² ok! Ceiling and wiring bagai also tercabut and all and jatuh ke lantai, SIKIT lagi nak kena this one kakak yang took our orders. Aiyoh! Adengan jerit menjerit semua ada nih sebab ade sparks ala ala terignite bagai kan (mek? Jgn tanya lah jerit ke idak! Terkeluar suara VOMANS mek! OPS! Mati la pecah lobang overdose!) Dan kakak itiew, bagaikan trauma yer, TERUS DIAM SAT dan DUDUK SAT sambil PELEKUP MULUT! Like, "YA ALLAH! Mujur tak kena aku!" Cam tu la sort of thingy. Kesian... kesian! Tsk tsk tsk...
Dan disebabkan itiew, our meals pon mai lambat also la kan, so the kedai ppl said (tapi mek speku, be it terjadi ke idak insiden tu, makanan kami TETAP mai lambat sebab sememangnya kedai tu LEMBAB! Ops!) Tapi mujur lah sedap also. But then kan, masalahnye, hehehehe memandangkan kawasan itiew teramat sejuk berangin tiup kencang bagai, u ols - nasi PANAS yang dihidangkan telah jadik SEJUK yer. Tapi again mek speku - NASI TU MEMANG SEJUK! Hiks! Mujur lauk pauk panas dan sedap. Tomyam dia also melerts! :) Mrasa nah G, leh kita pi bawak LeeZie kalau dia mai A/S lagi noh - BS, mau kejoinan ke? Hiks!
Lepas makan dan lepak sampai 12 midnight katanya - lepas kebayarans semua bagai, kitaorang pi shooting mooting pics kat ade this one area ape tah dedekat kedai makan tu jugak lah. Pi amek pics terketaq² nih sebab sejuk. Gila kan? Tetengah malam buta pi amek pics² beramai², GUNA TRIPOD katanya si csi_X tu - GIGIH!
Dan lepas tu, tak ingat pa per dah sebab mek TIDUR dalam kete dalam perjalanan pulang. Hiks! Sedaq² ja, dosi sampai depan pintu umah mek dah kaedahnye. Owh BTW, mek dinch drive pon. Juju picked me and csi_X up kaedahnye wanita tu dan menghantar kami balik. Sweet of her - hehehehe...
All and all mek nak cakap - MEK MAKAN BANYAK sundel malam tu! Mek rase gimuks kembaliks! Hiks! *waktu tu jer la kan. Hiks!
Nak tgk pics² lain malam itiew, mrasalah ke FP (fotopages) mek! Mrasa!!!
*1: Motif sekolah rendah, dah ber "HEY U OLS!?" Dah terserlah ker keperibadian hadek²?
*2: Motif HAMPA TADAK!? Tadak apa tatau!? Hahahahaha like ala ala "Na na na na naaa naaa! Kami ada... hampa tadak..." But still, TADAK APA TATAU!? Hahaha
Whatever it is - tarkir la kan. Janjinya, mek nak ghoyat (or is it Ghoyak? Mati la tak tau nak kecek Kelate tetap terkinja² nak cakap jugak, kan? Muahahahah). Anyways, mek nak habaq, hari tu, Rabu malam kot, mek ikut si Najib csi_X dengan kawan kami tu, si Juju (Kak Ju) tu pi makan Seafood katanya kat Kuala Perlis. GIGIH nih! Selain Juju dan Najib, mrasalah teman² rapat kami yang terdiri dari A, B, C, D and E also hadir yer... (motif nama dirahsiakan sedangkan gambaq nanti terpampang muka depa?! Muahahahaha mek tau A, B, C jer with their names - D dan E mek baru kenai malam tu so nama nan ado mek tau pon! HAHAHA).
Nak dijadikan citer - waktu nak pi tu dari A/S, mek nengok si A berjacket wind-braker bagai nih. Ala ala mek carut "Motif ko nak pi Kuala Perlis or pi US!? Windily winter kah di Kuala Perlis?" lalu si A cakap "Tunggguuuu... tgk la satgi sapa yang terketaq² sejuk...". Mek macam, MOTIF kat Kuala Perlis sejuk? Owh well I know tempat kami nak pi makan tu memang la tepi laut - tapi, MOTIF SEJUK sampai bersiap nak pi ke US!?
Sampai² jer kat Kuala Perlis (selepas like sejam setengah selepas mek kuar dari umah katanya - nak pi tu dalam 45 minutes jer. Selebihnya, sebok pi beli rokok SKL si csi_X tu katanya kat hujung pekan A/S tu - semata² nih! Gara² kedai tuuu sajork yang jual rokok SKL ala ala mek tersebut SLK yang berperisa persis sisha itiew... dan jugak menunggu B, C, D, E siap also... tu yang lambat tu) - anyways, sesampai jer kami kat KP (Kuala Perlis) like around 10nish gitu la - mak aih! Ramai nih kelibat manusia. Waktu tu Juju, csi_X ngan mek jer sampai dulu. Groupie kedua belom sampai. Mrasalah terpinga² kami cari tempat nak duduk sebab ramai sekals manusia malam tu. Dan whats worse, aiyoh, MEMANG SEJUK GIL GIL BABS sundel! Mek surprised! Duduk tepi laut ke, tepi Antartika?! Or is it Atlantic? Eh - tu laut, kan? Mati la IGGY! Hahahahahaha (Yer Yazrie - motif hang nak bersms sesorry bagai? Dinch perlu la u ols - maati la mek teringat IGGY teringat hang nye SMS! Hiks!)
So dalam pada dok cari tempat duduk tu, ada 2 benda terjadik.
1. The wind was soooo kuat katanya, sampai ia mempelantingkan pinggan mangkun bagai atas this one meja - aiyoyoh! Sangat kuat sundal angin nye. Otak mek dah mula pikiaq bukan² dah. DON'T ASK! Aiyoh mek serams sejuk sundel... dah la memang sejuk pong, kan? Hiks!
2. Tgh dok cari² tempat duduk strategic kaedahnye nampak Datin (or is it Datin Seri?) Normala Shamsuddin katanya dengan husbandnye dengan kawan² diaorang tgh menikmati seafood also katanya. Datin Normala (Help! Is it just Datin or Datin Seri? Mek rase ade Seri, kan?) looked radiant and lovely as ever. Mek tak snappy² pon - kuasa lah. Lagipun mek personally dah jumpa dia upclose and personal dalam one of my flights dulu - lovely lady la dia tu. Mek sker! Cantik + baik hati = good combi, kan? Kekekekekeke. The husband pulak 1st time mek nengok live - not bad aih! Ops! Tapi yang mek nyampah nengok, selain dari rerempitans dan jejesnitaans (Jesnita is feminine for Rempits - ops!) dok sebok nak usya Datin itiew, and when like she jalan, all these ppl nak sort of like smile and make the Datin notices them watching her (ewsss!), mek nyampah tgk "TUKANG KIPAS" sikit punya banyak! Aiyoh! PLASTIC sangat! Kipas for their own benifit! Mek tau la BBD dulu orang gomen - mek dah banyak/ selalu tgk orang kipas mengipas - kowser lah!
So anyways, dah lepas pada tu, kami pon order mengorder bagai la makan semua nih kan since si csi_X yang mau kebelanjaan, kan? Tapi si csi_X haram tatau sangat pasal seafood - mujoq lah Juju ado. TU pon tak tau banyak sangat, mrasalah mujur mekkkk jugak yang ado - pi orderans itiew iniey! Hiks! Dan by that time, A, B, C, D and E dosi kesampaian bagai semua - and tetiber, as kami menunggu our meals to arrive, kaedahnye, lampu kalimantang kat atas ceiling kedai itiew, jatuh tak semena² ok! Ceiling and wiring bagai also tercabut and all and jatuh ke lantai, SIKIT lagi nak kena this one kakak yang took our orders. Aiyoh! Adengan jerit menjerit semua ada nih sebab ade sparks ala ala terignite bagai kan (mek? Jgn tanya lah jerit ke idak! Terkeluar suara VOMANS mek! OPS! Mati la pecah lobang overdose!) Dan kakak itiew, bagaikan trauma yer, TERUS DIAM SAT dan DUDUK SAT sambil PELEKUP MULUT! Like, "YA ALLAH! Mujur tak kena aku!" Cam tu la sort of thingy. Kesian... kesian! Tsk tsk tsk...
Kakak yang masih dalam keadaan trauma katanya - muka sebek, masam bagai, keje pon ala ala lite² jer semangatnye dah, mata berair tau u ols - TAPI MAKE UP TETAP MAINTAIN, how!?
Kerang rebus - mek sker!
Ikan sweet sour yang tak sedap gara² pilihan ikan yang KURENG tepat - sapa buat pilihan tatau? Bukan mek! Mek tak makan ikan! Anak ikan yer la kot! Ops!
Lala XXXL katanya kan? Hiks!
Kailan Ikan Masin katanya, dengan, erm, ikan masak apa tatau? 3 rasa? Apa tatau la mek tatau sebab mek tak makan ikan!
Dan disebabkan itiew, our meals pon mai lambat also la kan, so the kedai ppl said (tapi mek speku, be it terjadi ke idak insiden tu, makanan kami TETAP mai lambat sebab sememangnya kedai tu LEMBAB! Ops!) Tapi mujur lah sedap also. But then kan, masalahnye, hehehehe memandangkan kawasan itiew teramat sejuk berangin tiup kencang bagai, u ols - nasi PANAS yang dihidangkan telah jadik SEJUK yer. Tapi again mek speku - NASI TU MEMANG SEJUK! Hiks! Mujur lauk pauk panas dan sedap. Tomyam dia also melerts! :) Mrasa nah G, leh kita pi bawak LeeZie kalau dia mai A/S lagi noh - BS, mau kejoinan ke? Hiks!
The group - tanpa A dan B. Hiks!
Lepas makan dan lepak sampai 12 midnight katanya - lepas kebayarans semua bagai, kitaorang pi shooting mooting pics kat ade this one area ape tah dedekat kedai makan tu jugak lah. Pi amek pics terketaq² nih sebab sejuk. Gila kan? Tetengah malam buta pi amek pics² beramai², GUNA TRIPOD katanya si csi_X tu - GIGIH!
Dan lepas tu, tak ingat pa per dah sebab mek TIDUR dalam kete dalam perjalanan pulang. Hiks! Sedaq² ja, dosi sampai depan pintu umah mek dah kaedahnye. Owh BTW, mek dinch drive pon. Juju picked me and csi_X up kaedahnye wanita tu dan menghantar kami balik. Sweet of her - hehehehe...
All and all mek nak cakap - MEK MAKAN BANYAK sundel malam tu! Mek rase gimuks kembaliks! Hiks! *waktu tu jer la kan. Hiks!
The whole group yang pi makan malam tu, seadanya. Thanks csi_X sebab belanja weols semua tau! :) Bulan depan turn sapa tatau!? Mek kan? Tapi mek tadak - mek pi oversea! HIKS! So turn mek kire burn la kan utk belanja hampa? Ke carried forward nih!? HAHAHAHAHAHA!...
Nak tgk pics² lain malam itiew, mrasalah ke FP (fotopages) mek! Mrasa!!!
Friday, February 02, 2007
Thank you Faz for the lovely...
Catchy aiiiyyy the title? Hiks! Jgn speku, jgn jadik iggy - Ops! Nih mek nak citer mai apa pasai mek nak say Thanks to this very nice fella named Faz from Singapore katanya...
Faz nih member mek, yang kenai mek melalui another friend of mine in Singapore, Rita - yes, go figure. Diaorang nih dalam my Friendster friend's list katanya... :) So anyways, kaedahnye, siang tadi, mek baru check friendster mek itiew, dan dapat msg iniey katanya...
Faz nih member mek, yang kenai mek melalui another friend of mine in Singapore, Rita - yes, go figure. Diaorang nih dalam my Friendster friend's list katanya... :) So anyways, kaedahnye, siang tadi, mek baru check friendster mek itiew, dan dapat msg iniey katanya...
| From: |  |
| Date: | Thursday, 1 February, 2007 10:50 PM |
| Subject: | hey there! |
| Message: | hi there! im a great fan of ur blog as well as ur frends blogs eg: ginger,imahleggok,leez etc2.. suka nah i tgk kisah kehidupan uols. so,bila i nampak ur latest pixs...i've decided to do something to it..hope u loike it lah..there's a resemblance to cassie and rihanna...hehhee. stay beautiful always dear : ) regards, faz : ) |
Kannn??? Kaedahnye - diaols suka also blog² kawan² hem, G, LeeZ, Imah and all... (motif 'and all' sedangkan dia sebut 3 tu je? Hiks!) So anyways la kan... dia did something to it - my pics - buat apa dia tatau? Hahahaha mek sker mek sker...
MRASA!!! Mek sker la sangat - sampai mek dah upload kat Myspace, (Friendster jangan cakap la - awai² mek dah uploaded sebab actually, dia yang submitted the pic to my profile... kan? Hiks), dan now - mek boh dalam blog mek dan mek dah pun buat as my erm, apa orang cakap, banner? Ha - yer la kot. Banner kat mek punye Fotopages katanya... sker la sker la sker lah!!!
Faz, if you're reading this kan, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!!! SO MUCH! Aiyoh! Mek girang! Hiks! Tetiber mek feels² macam cover album. Motif cover album? Mampu ke mek menyanyiks!? KAKAKAKAKA!!!
Thanks again Faz!!!
Faz, if you're reading this kan, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!!! SO MUCH! Aiyoh! Mek girang! Hiks! Tetiber mek feels² macam cover album. Motif cover album? Mampu ke mek menyanyiks!? KAKAKAKAKA!!!
Thanks again Faz!!!
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
How to handle prank calls...
Or as a matter of fact, it might just be prank sms-es katanya, kan? Hiks! Lets ikuti sessi sms'ing yang baru jer berlaku tadi... kire² sejam yang lalu. Nak mek masukkan time sekali ke? Tak payah la kan? Hiks!
1st sms
Hi there, feeling lonely?
1st reply
Errr... who's this? (Mrasalah play short and simple and sweet katanya - jgn tunjuk sangat yang kite sentap ke, or what not... kan?)
What I REALLY wanted to reply:
MOTIF!?!?! Gile ke ape tetiber msg org memalam buto tanya orang feeling lonely ke apo? Apo ko pikir, me desperate beauty queen!? OPS!
**********************************************************
2nd sms
Hope u not busy, at this hour...
2nd reply
No am not but I shall not continue this chat of ours untul you let me know who you are and how on earth did you get my number...
What I REALLY wanted to reply:
(If I were to play sarcastic katanya kan... ) Yes, actually, if you tak cakap who you are, I AM busy; busy gentel kel*ntit sendiri! In other words, mind your own life if ko tannak cakap ko tu sape! (tu diah! Mati la sentap siap sempat berbahasa lucah!)
**********************************************************
3rd sms
Isnt a little mystry.... A lot of fun....
3rd reply
Well, you have a pleasant day then with your mysteries. I shall not be part of it thank you... (giiiitu! Mek sendiri tak budget mek leh play relaxed and classy cam tu. Walhal, sebenarnye, mek nak jawab...)
What I REALLY wanted to reply:
Kepala hanggok kau a little mystery a lot of fun!? Hotak lu! Fun for you for playing mysteries on me - habis mek yang terkontang kanting celah kangkang mencari sapakah penghantar sms mystery tu, ko hengat mek sker lah?!
**********************************************************
4th sms
U've upset me.... Do u always sms like that?
4th reply
You have a good evening ahead. I'm not interested to waste my credits on mysterious smses. Pleasant for you, unentertaining and certainly waste of time for me. So if you don't mind, please, do you mysterious smses with someone else. Goodnight. (I wonder will he suspect me dah malas nak melayan/ sentap? Hurmmm...)
What I REALLY wanted to reply:
I've upset you? Mampos la! Pedulik hapo aku? KAN!?
**********************************************************
5th sms
C'mon... Dont u at least wanna know who... How r u gonna sleep tnight, wondering, thinking...
5th reply
I asked you once, and since you wanna be all secretive, by all means, that's your choice. And I'm gonna ask you politely again, go do your mysterious business elsewhere please, if you don't intend to tell me who you are and how you got my number.
What I REALLY wanted to reply:
Owh I DO I DO I DO I SOOOO DO! Please tell me please! I cannot sleep thinking of all these. Siapa nih!? (Kan? Sesentap mana sekali pon, tetap nak tahu jugak nih. Tapi good thing mek replied confidently yang mek tak amek port pon dia sapa sebenarnye, kan? Hiks!)
**********************************************************
6th sms
Ok... ok... ok... I will make a deal with you... I will stop sms'ing you if call me... I promise you will be suprised and worth your while....
6th reply
Goodnight. Better luck on someone else next time around.
What I REALLY wanted to reply:
MOTIF me have to call you!? And what kind of deal IS THAT!? HELLO!!? Kau yang menyemak kacau hidup aku, tetiber haku la nak kena call kau!? (Although I was pretty much TEMPTED sangat nak call. Seriously, no joke. Memang tempted giler nak call tapi yer sayang²ku wahai readers and all, kuatkan semangat dan imanmu... JGN CALL! Jgn mengalah! Once kite call, THAT'S IT! Dia tau la kite memang terkinja² nak tahu, kan? Hehehe. Put it this way - kalau dia kasik tahu, advantage is on you. Kalau tak bagi tahu, tak rugi aih! Bukannye mati pun kalau tak tahu siapakah penghantar sms misteri iniey, kan? Hiks!)
**********************************************************
FINAL sms
Well if u feel that way im sorry for disturbing you... you have a good night, sincerly Abg F :)
AHAH! SEEE!!!! Mujur iman mek kuat! Katanya. Last², dia yang mengaku sendiri sebab dia ala² feels² macam mek malas jer nak layan dia. So dia ala² macam terasa kalah la dalam his own game. Hiks hiks! Mek sker mek sker!
Siapakah Abang F!? Chup! Sikijap! Entry nih ade dua part. 1st part pasal sms bersiri iniey - dan cara mengatasi prank calls/ smses secara classy dan jangan tunjuk yang kite nih sentap or eagerly wanting to know siapakah dia (THANKS TO YOU ABANG F! Mek ado jugak update entry kat blog! HEHEHEH mek girang!). 2nd part, citer pasal siapakah Abang F si penghantar sms bersiri itiew. Hiks!
So bahagian 1st nih, kesimpulan yang mek nak buatkan secara mudah utk dipahami semua - like, kesimpulan on HOW TO HANDLE PRANK SMS-ES (tak leh lah mek nak cakap prank calls - sebab tu ade cara lain pulak. Lain hari mek buat entry tu. Abang F, wanna be my experimentasi lagi? Hiks!)
YERRR LAH! Ini lah Abang F, lakinya si Donna Joliekins, yang dua dua datang for Miss IQP 2006 hari tu kasik support kat mek tu. Mek kenal Donna like for quite sometimes now (ain't that right Woman?) dan husbandnya yang candiew itiew. OPS! Sebagaimana Donna dan laki dia sker nyakat mek, ala ala adek manja depa nih, mek pon sker nyakat Donna jugak - dengan percubaan berkali² utk merampas Abang F! Ops! Hahahahahah! Tak der lah - mlawak jer. Motif? Ko hengat mek nih hapo? Pemunsnah rumahtangga orang? Aiyoh! CHOY!
Hari tu, just last Saturday, mek jumpe Abang F (yang kini semakin segak berambut panjang ala ala buat bun pon cantik tu! Ops lagi!) dan Donna kat La Bodega apa tah kat Telawi Road Bangsar itiew, for lunch katanya. Motif nya lunch at 2.30pm?! Hahahaha late lunch la kaedahnye. Donna invited another couple - kengkawan dia jugak la. The husband also not bad! (mati la mak they read this blog! LALALALALA!)
Had tons of fun laughing and all dengan they all semua hari itiew - hey guys, me missing you alls too!!! ESPECIALLY ABANG F! Mati la mek dengan Donna lepas nih! LARIIIIIIIII PANJAT GUNUNG DINDING BERBUKIT BATU BAGAI! Hahahahaha...
Owh PS:
Abang F (center katanya - feeling² Pemenang Miss la tu! Hiks!), flanked by moi on his left (kalau ikut susunan left Abang F, meaning, mek 2nd runner-up ley? TIDAKKKK! Hahahah motif tetiber menghoyan!? LALALA) and on Abang F's right handside is erm, sapa tatau nama Abang tu? Lupa la... hiks! Candiew also! Ops!
Donna Joliekins katanya on MY right (mrasalah mek feels² Ratu between two ORI womanz, kan!? HAHAHAH mek girang!) dan also kawannye si Donna, isterinya si Abang yang mek tatau nama tu. Mati la mek laki bini both mek tatau / tak hengat namanya depa! LALALA!
1st sms
Hi there, feeling lonely?
1st reply
Errr... who's this? (Mrasalah play short and simple and sweet katanya - jgn tunjuk sangat yang kite sentap ke, or what not... kan?)
What I REALLY wanted to reply:
MOTIF!?!?! Gile ke ape tetiber msg org memalam buto tanya orang feeling lonely ke apo? Apo ko pikir, me desperate beauty queen!? OPS!
**********************************************************
2nd sms
Hope u not busy, at this hour...
2nd reply
No am not but I shall not continue this chat of ours untul you let me know who you are and how on earth did you get my number...
What I REALLY wanted to reply:
(If I were to play sarcastic katanya kan... ) Yes, actually, if you tak cakap who you are, I AM busy; busy gentel kel*ntit sendiri! In other words, mind your own life if ko tannak cakap ko tu sape! (tu diah! Mati la sentap siap sempat berbahasa lucah!)
**********************************************************
3rd sms
Isnt a little mystry.... A lot of fun....
3rd reply
Well, you have a pleasant day then with your mysteries. I shall not be part of it thank you... (giiiitu! Mek sendiri tak budget mek leh play relaxed and classy cam tu. Walhal, sebenarnye, mek nak jawab...)
What I REALLY wanted to reply:
Kepala hanggok kau a little mystery a lot of fun!? Hotak lu! Fun for you for playing mysteries on me - habis mek yang terkontang kanting celah kangkang mencari sapakah penghantar sms mystery tu, ko hengat mek sker lah?!
**********************************************************
4th sms
U've upset me.... Do u always sms like that?
4th reply
You have a good evening ahead. I'm not interested to waste my credits on mysterious smses. Pleasant for you, unentertaining and certainly waste of time for me. So if you don't mind, please, do you mysterious smses with someone else. Goodnight. (I wonder will he suspect me dah malas nak melayan/ sentap? Hurmmm...)
What I REALLY wanted to reply:
I've upset you? Mampos la! Pedulik hapo aku? KAN!?
**********************************************************
5th sms
C'mon... Dont u at least wanna know who... How r u gonna sleep tnight, wondering, thinking...
5th reply
I asked you once, and since you wanna be all secretive, by all means, that's your choice. And I'm gonna ask you politely again, go do your mysterious business elsewhere please, if you don't intend to tell me who you are and how you got my number.
What I REALLY wanted to reply:
Owh I DO I DO I DO I SOOOO DO! Please tell me please! I cannot sleep thinking of all these. Siapa nih!? (Kan? Sesentap mana sekali pon, tetap nak tahu jugak nih. Tapi good thing mek replied confidently yang mek tak amek port pon dia sapa sebenarnye, kan? Hiks!)
**********************************************************
6th sms
Ok... ok... ok... I will make a deal with you... I will stop sms'ing you if call me... I promise you will be suprised and worth your while....
6th reply
Goodnight. Better luck on someone else next time around.
What I REALLY wanted to reply:
MOTIF me have to call you!? And what kind of deal IS THAT!? HELLO!!? Kau yang menyemak kacau hidup aku, tetiber haku la nak kena call kau!? (Although I was pretty much TEMPTED sangat nak call. Seriously, no joke. Memang tempted giler nak call tapi yer sayang²ku wahai readers and all, kuatkan semangat dan imanmu... JGN CALL! Jgn mengalah! Once kite call, THAT'S IT! Dia tau la kite memang terkinja² nak tahu, kan? Hehehe. Put it this way - kalau dia kasik tahu, advantage is on you. Kalau tak bagi tahu, tak rugi aih! Bukannye mati pun kalau tak tahu siapakah penghantar sms misteri iniey, kan? Hiks!)
**********************************************************
FINAL sms
Well if u feel that way im sorry for disturbing you... you have a good night, sincerly Abg F :)
AHAH! SEEE!!!! Mujur iman mek kuat! Katanya. Last², dia yang mengaku sendiri sebab dia ala² feels² macam mek malas jer nak layan dia. So dia ala² macam terasa kalah la dalam his own game. Hiks hiks! Mek sker mek sker!
Siapakah Abang F!? Chup! Sikijap! Entry nih ade dua part. 1st part pasal sms bersiri iniey - dan cara mengatasi prank calls/ smses secara classy dan jangan tunjuk yang kite nih sentap or eagerly wanting to know siapakah dia (THANKS TO YOU ABANG F! Mek ado jugak update entry kat blog! HEHEHEH mek girang!). 2nd part, citer pasal siapakah Abang F si penghantar sms bersiri itiew. Hiks!
So bahagian 1st nih, kesimpulan yang mek nak buatkan secara mudah utk dipahami semua - like, kesimpulan on HOW TO HANDLE PRANK SMS-ES (tak leh lah mek nak cakap prank calls - sebab tu ade cara lain pulak. Lain hari mek buat entry tu. Abang F, wanna be my experimentasi lagi? Hiks!)
- Firstly, tanya direct siapakah dia (Yooo lah! Like the 1st time dia akan mengaku dia sapa. Dah dia tahu kita blur tatau dia sapa and number phone BIARPUN familiar tapi since kite tatau, lagi la dia naik hantu nak menyakat kite, kan?! Hiks!)
- Melayan la lite² initially, kasik dia feels² dia hebats sebab dia tahu kita sapa, dan kita pulak tatau dia sapa. So dia akan rasa dia 1st level up dari kite - walhal dia tatau lepas nih, dia akan kena 3 levels bawah kite. Hiks!
- Sampai to the extend you ols dinch mampu persuade dia elok² cakap siapakah dia, mrasalah JGN MELENTING! End the chat as quickly as possible.
- Whatever you do, jgn show yang you ols sentap. Instead, tunjuk yang u ols malas nak layan. This way, dia pulak akan rasa sentap sebab trick dia tak menjadi! Hiks!
- By this time, kalau dia give up, dia akan cakap siapakah dia. Kalau dia tetap keras kepala berdegil nak play secretive dan all sad cards bagai semua, you "JUST WALK AWAY" bak kata Celine Dion... ops! Tok sah layan. You have got NOTHING to lose. Tapi menerusi kajian forensik mek (mati lah tetiber kajian forensik katanya, kan? HAHAHAH cam tak mengena tema jer! LOL!), by this time, dia akan mengalah sebab dia rasa kite malas nak layan dia, so dia akan cakap siapakah dia. In which dalam kes me, terbukti! MEK GIRANG!
YERRR LAH! Ini lah Abang F, lakinya si Donna Joliekins, yang dua dua datang for Miss IQP 2006 hari tu kasik support kat mek tu. Mek kenal Donna like for quite sometimes now (ain't that right Woman?) dan husbandnya yang candiew itiew. OPS! Sebagaimana Donna dan laki dia sker nyakat mek, ala ala adek manja depa nih, mek pon sker nyakat Donna jugak - dengan percubaan berkali² utk merampas Abang F! Ops! Hahahahahah! Tak der lah - mlawak jer. Motif? Ko hengat mek nih hapo? Pemunsnah rumahtangga orang? Aiyoh! CHOY!
Hari tu, just last Saturday, mek jumpe Abang F (yang kini semakin segak berambut panjang ala ala buat bun pon cantik tu! Ops lagi!) dan Donna kat La Bodega apa tah kat Telawi Road Bangsar itiew, for lunch katanya. Motif nya lunch at 2.30pm?! Hahahaha late lunch la kaedahnye. Donna invited another couple - kengkawan dia jugak la. The husband also not bad! (mati la mak they read this blog! LALALALALA!)
Had tons of fun laughing and all dengan they all semua hari itiew - hey guys, me missing you alls too!!! ESPECIALLY ABANG F! Mati la mek dengan Donna lepas nih! LARIIIIIIIII PANJAT GUNUNG DINDING BERBUKIT BATU BAGAI! Hahahahaha...
Owh PS:
- 1st: Thanks Abang F sayangku intan payungku for the final sms tadi... sweet sangat! "MISSING YOUR SMILE" katanya - MEK CAIR! Hahahahahahah mati la mek dengan Donna kejap lagi nieh!!!
- 2nd: Donna woman! Thanks for lunch hari itiew. Untung hang noh - mek tak kedaghah banyak kat La Bodega bagai tu. Kalau idak, JENUH LA HANG nak belanja mek! LALALALALA!
- 3rd: Kawannye si Donna and Abang F tu, that sweet couple tu, sapa tatau nama laki dia tu? MASIH ADA LAGI KE GANGGUAN SEKSUAL OLEH HADEK² MELALUI TELEPHONE!? Hahaha mek kesian kat u ols diganggu sebegitiew rupe - so in other words, what abang F did to me, wasn't that bad la, kan? Lalalalala...
Abang F (center katanya - feeling² Pemenang Miss la tu! Hiks!), flanked by moi on his left (kalau ikut susunan left Abang F, meaning, mek 2nd runner-up ley? TIDAKKKK! Hahahah motif tetiber menghoyan!? LALALA) and on Abang F's right handside is erm, sapa tatau nama Abang tu? Lupa la... hiks! Candiew also! Ops!
Donna Joliekins katanya on MY right (mrasalah mek feels² Ratu between two ORI womanz, kan!? HAHAHAH mek girang!) dan also kawannye si Donna, isterinya si Abang yang mek tatau nama tu. Mati la mek laki bini both mek tatau / tak hengat namanya depa! LALALA!
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Photoshoot with Tukang Taip
Photoshoot yang keberapa entah lah since last year mek terkinja² dok ghajin dok buat photoshoots nih kan, namun kali nih mek buat dengan The Famous and Multitalented Tukang Taip katanya... mrasalah berubah arah selera angin bagai this time around, kan?
I've done photoshoots before² this dengan The Famous Roland Hashim, The Talented Marc and Dylan, The All Time-Mega-Blur csi_X, and also not to forget, Volksie 301 Studio shoots also - but kali inih, mrasa, with TT (Tukang Taip), yang telah dijanjikan for quite sometimes already nak buat buat photoshoot itiew.
It was indeed my 1st time buat dengan TT, walaupun mek dah kenal dia like, since, 2005? Wow - dah 2 tahun, baru kali nih mek berpeluang utk buat photoshoot dengan dia, personally, upclose and personal katanya! Hiks!
He's VERY funny and talented, and very charming indeed. Mek rase sangat relaxed buat photoshoot itiew dengan dia. He insisted me buat pose² maintain woman dan with full poise, elegant and sexy lite². Dia dinch mau la u ols mek buat pose² gedik getek gatai bagai semua tu. So since dia the photographer, mek ikut sajork :)
So mrasa - hasil fotoshoot itiew...
I've done photoshoots before² this dengan The Famous Roland Hashim, The Talented Marc and Dylan, The All Time-Mega-Blur csi_X, and also not to forget, Volksie 301 Studio shoots also - but kali inih, mrasa, with TT (Tukang Taip), yang telah dijanjikan for quite sometimes already nak buat buat photoshoot itiew.
It was indeed my 1st time buat dengan TT, walaupun mek dah kenal dia like, since, 2005? Wow - dah 2 tahun, baru kali nih mek berpeluang utk buat photoshoot dengan dia, personally, upclose and personal katanya! Hiks!
He's VERY funny and talented, and very charming indeed. Mek rase sangat relaxed buat photoshoot itiew dengan dia. He insisted me buat pose² maintain woman dan with full poise, elegant and sexy lite². Dia dinch mau la u ols mek buat pose² gedik getek gatai bagai semua tu. So since dia the photographer, mek ikut sajork :)
So mrasa - hasil fotoshoot itiew...
And finally, with the photographer himself, Hazman The Famous and Multi-talented Tukang Taip (Now not just tukang taip la kan? Its Tukang Amek Gambaq also la kan? KEKEKEKEKE)
Ini mek quote dari what TT tulis dalam site dia...
"I would be lying if I said that my agreement to take Lea Laurielle's portraits tonight was not accompanied by butterflies in the stomach. I had never come this close to a drag queen.
I like to tease them, but only from a distance. I don't mind making a real monkey of myself for the intense pleasure of seeing them blush. In truth, though, my balls shudder when I am coerced to stand in front of one.
Especially a femininely beautiful one like Lea.
Lea is, after all, a celebrity in her own arena. Her blog is popular among her fellow 'sisters' in a regally clean (albeit self-worshipping) way. Through the 2 years I have known Lea, this would be the first time we met.
(Gruffbear - by the way, this is the lady who handled your accommodations during your trip last year. I know you're biting your fingers now).
She had very sensual shots taken by Roland Hashim sometime ago. I resisted from using the sexy/bitchy approach. Because, through the time I've known Lea, for most parts, it is her intellectuality, beauty and sensitivity that stands out the most. And it was this that I wanted to portray in the portraits I took of her.
So - here's Lea."
Ini mek quote dari what TT tulis dalam site dia...
"I would be lying if I said that my agreement to take Lea Laurielle's portraits tonight was not accompanied by butterflies in the stomach. I had never come this close to a drag queen.
I like to tease them, but only from a distance. I don't mind making a real monkey of myself for the intense pleasure of seeing them blush. In truth, though, my balls shudder when I am coerced to stand in front of one.
Especially a femininely beautiful one like Lea.
Lea is, after all, a celebrity in her own arena. Her blog is popular among her fellow 'sisters' in a regally clean (albeit self-worshipping) way. Through the 2 years I have known Lea, this would be the first time we met.
(Gruffbear - by the way, this is the lady who handled your accommodations during your trip last year. I know you're biting your fingers now).
She had very sensual shots taken by Roland Hashim sometime ago. I resisted from using the sexy/bitchy approach. Because, through the time I've known Lea, for most parts, it is her intellectuality, beauty and sensitivity that stands out the most. And it was this that I wanted to portray in the portraits I took of her.
So - here's Lea."
Nak tgk the rest of the photoshoot pics yang mek dah uploaded kat fotopages mek, mrasalah click kat picload bawah nih nah??? :) Enjoys! Hiks
Enjoysssss nah!? Mrasa!!! Chow chin chow!!!
PS: Ado lagi hapdets nye lepas² nih... sabaq sat noh... ;)
Thursday, January 11, 2007
What's going on?
A lot might ponder and ask:-
- MOTIF after the last entry on the 7th terus kediaman tanpa any new entries? Malas kah?
- MOTIF since the last update, busy memanjang? Urusan kerja kah? Lalala...
- MOTIF busy dok buat apa tatau? Bercintan cintun bagai kah? OPS!
- MOTIF sebok shopping ligat kah katanya? Toy baru for New Year?
- MOTIF - eh brapa banyak punya motif ha!?
Owh well - you guys takkan percaya how busy I was these past few days; TERAMAT! Busy sampai malas nak update blog, or sampai penat yaamats, or kedua- dua nya sekali yer. Muahahahah! Actually, niat nak update blog tu ade. Citer pon ade nak diciter kan - tapi kan memandangkan I'm extremely busy with work, sampai balik pun ade kalanya lewat ya amats - so jadik macam, bile sampai umah jer, all I wanted to do is just relax dan tidur...
Well, anyways, am back. Now mek nak citer apa tatau... 1st things 1st... keje. Aiyoh. Busy teramat as usual - the first 3 months dalam tahun nih memang mek budget busy kebusyan yaamats pon. Was busy arranging Fiona Fie's group of 4 ke Bali (eh, depa departed hari nih ler... aiyoh!) sampai this 14th kot. Then, mek sebok dengan arrangement group of engineers nak bawak family² bagai sampai total of 30 pax nak ke Jakarta/ Puncak and Bandung by mid next month - at the same time mek sebok arranging pasal that state government's trip to Cairo/ Rome (which state tatau? LALALALA) and on top of that, mek sebok dengan preparasi nak ke Umrah in March also. All in all mek sebok sebab mek buat these promotions online also kat Cari.com and the sambutan, Ya Allah - menggalakkan! Serious! Memang sangat menggalakkan. Mek girang sangat! Sampai tak menyempat² mek nak reply requests depa for quotations/ itineraries and stuff... aiyoh!
At the same time yang mek dok sebok nih sebab mek nak kena balik KL for 2 weeks ++ atas urusan kerej yer (ala, kerej tu siket jer seminggu lebey - the rest tu, hahahah TAKE A REST back in KL - bole? Macam la tadak tempat lain nak rest kan? HAHAHA) So mek nak kena settlekan banyak bende before I leave this Sunday. But I'll be stopping at Penang dulu sebab ade nak kena attend meeting dengan propect partner/ client - then lepas tu middle of the week mek ke Perak dulu before mek balik KL by end of the week. Mek expect to be back in KL by erm, hmmm... Friday kot... InsyaAllah kalau nan ado arah melintang pukang la kan. Nih pun macam, aiyoh! Banyak nye bendealah nak disiaphabiskan bagai! PENAT LAH!
Penat? Owh well - penat², mek telah melayan diri mek, dengan mem-pamper-kan diri mek, gi beli itu ini bazir itu ini dalam masa 1 week nih. Muahahaha... tak der lah mende sangat mek membeli pon... satu dua bende jer (YOOO LAH TU!)
Mek bought a new lappytoppy! HOYEHHHHH!!! Remember last year mek hils hils laptop mek waktu kes office mek kena curi masuk itiew? Ha - guess what. Mek tak pakai laptop SAMPAI LA kesudah. Until recently jer mek macam, hmmmm beli la satu lagi. Kali nih, manggakan laptop tu kat pinggang mek, bole? MUAHAHAHAH!
Mek belik laptop apadia tatau?
Well, anyways, am back. Now mek nak citer apa tatau... 1st things 1st... keje. Aiyoh. Busy teramat as usual - the first 3 months dalam tahun nih memang mek budget busy kebusyan yaamats pon. Was busy arranging Fiona Fie's group of 4 ke Bali (eh, depa departed hari nih ler... aiyoh!) sampai this 14th kot. Then, mek sebok dengan arrangement group of engineers nak bawak family² bagai sampai total of 30 pax nak ke Jakarta/ Puncak and Bandung by mid next month - at the same time mek sebok arranging pasal that state government's trip to Cairo/ Rome (which state tatau? LALALALA) and on top of that, mek sebok dengan preparasi nak ke Umrah in March also. All in all mek sebok sebab mek buat these promotions online also kat Cari.com and the sambutan, Ya Allah - menggalakkan! Serious! Memang sangat menggalakkan. Mek girang sangat! Sampai tak menyempat² mek nak reply requests depa for quotations/ itineraries and stuff... aiyoh!
At the same time yang mek dok sebok nih sebab mek nak kena balik KL for 2 weeks ++ atas urusan kerej yer (ala, kerej tu siket jer seminggu lebey - the rest tu, hahahah TAKE A REST back in KL - bole? Macam la tadak tempat lain nak rest kan? HAHAHA) So mek nak kena settlekan banyak bende before I leave this Sunday. But I'll be stopping at Penang dulu sebab ade nak kena attend meeting dengan propect partner/ client - then lepas tu middle of the week mek ke Perak dulu before mek balik KL by end of the week. Mek expect to be back in KL by erm, hmmm... Friday kot... InsyaAllah kalau nan ado arah melintang pukang la kan. Nih pun macam, aiyoh! Banyak nye bendealah nak disiaphabiskan bagai! PENAT LAH!
Penat? Owh well - penat², mek telah melayan diri mek, dengan mem-pamper-kan diri mek, gi beli itu ini bazir itu ini dalam masa 1 week nih. Muahahaha... tak der lah mende sangat mek membeli pon... satu dua bende jer (YOOO LAH TU!)
Mek bought a new lappytoppy! HOYEHHHHH!!! Remember last year mek hils hils laptop mek waktu kes office mek kena curi masuk itiew? Ha - guess what. Mek tak pakai laptop SAMPAI LA kesudah. Until recently jer mek macam, hmmmm beli la satu lagi. Kali nih, manggakan laptop tu kat pinggang mek, bole? MUAHAHAHAH!
Mek belik laptop apadia tatau?
Secara tak sengaja yer snappy² dapat hasil image ala ala bercahaya kat hujung wide screen tu! Sker lah flash jadik lagu tu! :)
Tu diah! Plastic depan tu pon takmo bukak lagi nih takut calaq! WE'll see how long THAT will last! LOL!
Nih ha pulak, spesifikasi toy baru mek... hiks!
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Mek pi membelik ngan Kakak Ipaq mek yang was kind enuff to get me her dealer's price. Mek girang! Cikmurs sekals! Mek dok budget nak belik yang jenis lain, yang nearly RM3k tu. Mujoq jumpa hat nih pon, cantik also! Mek pedulik apa la sangat kemampuannye - yang penting, 1stly, cantik - biaq pon BEGHAT! Ala ala, biar cantik walaupun gemok? OPS! Lepas tu, hantaq pulak laptop kosong tu pi ke csi_X after lunch that day tu... bagi dia install, boh segala²nya dalam tu, kan? Katanya 80GB Hard Disk! Mrasalah macam PC kat umah mek tu dah setelah ditambah itu ini! MEK GIRANG! Tapi, kalau PC umah dah 80GB, laptop pon 80GB - hmm, mrasalah total of 160GB of emptiness tatau nak simpan apa tatau!?!?!?!?! Hahahahahaha
Pastu, usung lah macam dulu dok bawak pi mai pi mai la laptop tu. Tapi hat dulu koman sikit. Hat nih baghu siket - canggeh siket. Pon begitu tak der lah secanggeh dan sehebats si csi_X nye laptop - nangis lite2 aku tgk ok! (kekwat nih! Lite2 jer nangis! HAHAHAHA) and malam pertama kehidupan laptop tu, mek dosi bawak pi ke A/S's next best place to lepak katanya... White Coffee Cafe Oldtown apa tah. Gerannnnddd! Leh wireless! MEK SKER! Hahahahahahah semalam kan mek chattings di sana? EH WAIT! That means, mek baru shopping menatang tu SEMALAM LAH!? Muahahahah dahh kenapa pulak mek rase cam dah berhari² dah ek? Muahahaha
Pastu, usung lah macam dulu dok bawak pi mai pi mai la laptop tu. Tapi hat dulu koman sikit. Hat nih baghu siket - canggeh siket. Pon begitu tak der lah secanggeh dan sehebats si csi_X nye laptop - nangis lite2 aku tgk ok! (kekwat nih! Lite2 jer nangis! HAHAHAHA) and malam pertama kehidupan laptop tu, mek dosi bawak pi ke A/S's next best place to lepak katanya... White Coffee Cafe Oldtown apa tah. Gerannnnddd! Leh wireless! MEK SKER! Hahahahahahah semalam kan mek chattings di sana? EH WAIT! That means, mek baru shopping menatang tu SEMALAM LAH!? Muahahahah dahh kenapa pulak mek rase cam dah berhari² dah ek? Muahahaha
Ha - hamek! Dua dua on! PC desktop on, laptop on! Mrasalah dua dua leh online!!! MEK SKER LAH!
Pastu - erm, hmmm actually kan, selain dari beli laptop baru, mek rase, kebusian mek sebenarnya adalah angkara KEJE jer la u ols. THAT'S my very lame excuse... serious. MEMANG busy gile. Cinta ke ape ke, social ke ape ke - semuanya ADDINCH sebab mek busy u ols. Kadang kala mek sendiri tatau mek busy apanya kat office tu tapi once masuk office jer, HA! Ade la itu ini this and that - meetings la itu ini bagai! HAIYOYOYOH! Can't wait for my getaway dari office and back in KL nanti nih - leh RELAX! *motif relax di kesebokkan ibukota tanahair!? Kot yer pon nak pi relax, bawak² la pi ke... ke... erm... tah... Penang ke... Penang ke... Perak ke... OPS!
Tapi dalam kebusian mek, malam², cara mek nak relax, mek tgk DVD! Dah macam² DVD mek nengok - dari ke Mistress of Spices to Barbie Dolls 12 Dancing Princesses ape tah... to Tomb Raider 1 and 2 la itu ini - tapi most of the time malam² mek spend time berforum katanya, bagi tujuan melayan promosi. Mek sker lah...
And speaking of DVD, tadik mek pi belik lagi... ANASTASIA and DIVA POPULAR! Sagi lepas publish entry nih mek nak tgk! Hehehe PS: Owh ptg tadik mek pi dengan si CA ke Karnival Jualan Buku² Murah - kat stadium A/S. Class! Mek ended up buying these for anak buah mek yang bongsu tu, tapi macam, biar lah mek rasmi dan baca dulu. Kadang² best gak baca buku citer bertulisan besau² cam nih, kan? Citer apa tatau???
Tapi dalam kebusian mek, malam², cara mek nak relax, mek tgk DVD! Dah macam² DVD mek nengok - dari ke Mistress of Spices to Barbie Dolls 12 Dancing Princesses ape tah... to Tomb Raider 1 and 2 la itu ini - tapi most of the time malam² mek spend time berforum katanya, bagi tujuan melayan promosi. Mek sker lah...
And speaking of DVD, tadik mek pi belik lagi... ANASTASIA and DIVA POPULAR! Sagi lepas publish entry nih mek nak tgk! Hehehe PS: Owh ptg tadik mek pi dengan si CA ke Karnival Jualan Buku² Murah - kat stadium A/S. Class! Mek ended up buying these for anak buah mek yang bongsu tu, tapi macam, biar lah mek rasmi dan baca dulu. Kadang² best gak baca buku citer bertulisan besau² cam nih, kan? Citer apa tatau???
Tudiah! The Princess and the Frog, Beauty and the Beast and also Sleeping Beauty bacaan kanak² bawah umur 7 tahun katanya! MUAHAHAHAH! Dan also, DVDs. Motif ado DVD Cinta!? Mati lah pengamal konsep belian DVD cets romps! Mati la mek!
Dan tadik petang, dengan semangatnya, since membeli itu ini, dengan lappytoppy baru, dengan semangat nak cuti² balik KL and jumpa kawan² and bloggers and all - mrasalah tetiber jer angin mood mai nak ubahsuai bilik! MEK SKER LAH! Ubah suai nih sorang² sampai terbongkang penat lepas tu - haiyoh! But it was worth it! Mek sker!
Pengubahsuaian - AFTER sudah selesai ubah katil dari point A ke point B - point A asalnya jauh dari meja PC. Mrasalah sekarang diubah ke point B, berdekatan dengan tingkap utk view neighbour mek yang ado anak teruna tampans puteh melepak itiew, dan jugak berdekatan dengan meja PC supaya easy access dengan laptop mek! MUAHAHAH!
THIS was point B - asalnya katil kat sitiew ler. Tu pintu apa tatau? Pintu yang mek dok guna utk keluar memalam tu, kan? HAHAHAHA
Hmmmm - apa lagik mek nak update tatau? Pasal nak balik KL? Erm, nanti² la kot mek update. Ke nak update now? Update later la kan? Kang update now - nanti tadak citer pulak nak update. But wait, mek dah nak gerak ke Penang dulu this Sunday, kang tadak time pulak noh? Owh very well - a short and brief update pasal nak balik KL nih.
Actually mek ado course and also nak meeting dengan clients. Tu jer main purpose. Selebihnye, mini gath - akan diadakan, INSYAALLAH. Memang nak kena buat pon, utk TB, utk website dan blog, utk BI2006 geng² tu pakat nak jumpa... dan utk Cari.com katanya board Fashion and Beauty. Depa nak pi counter make ups kat MidValley! MACAM MENARIK jer! Mek nak lah! And disamping itu, mungkin, just mungkin, pi tgk AJL21 and also nak pi perasmian boutique/ salon kecantikan my auntie on the 21st also. Dan disamping itu jugak, nak jumpa kawan², anak² hayam (bukan ANAK yer, ANAK² ok! HAHAHAH mati la mek dah bersalin brapa kali tatau!?) and also erm, hmmm tu jer lah kot! Tudiah! Update pasal kes nak balik KL dalam satu perenggan jer - ko mampu!? Ops!
Ok lah - mek nak publish entry nih and mek nak tgk DIVA POPULAR and also itu Anastasia! GIRANGNYE! Heheheh
Duiyen!
Actually mek ado course and also nak meeting dengan clients. Tu jer main purpose. Selebihnye, mini gath - akan diadakan, INSYAALLAH. Memang nak kena buat pon, utk TB, utk website dan blog, utk BI2006 geng² tu pakat nak jumpa... dan utk Cari.com katanya board Fashion and Beauty. Depa nak pi counter make ups kat MidValley! MACAM MENARIK jer! Mek nak lah! And disamping itu, mungkin, just mungkin, pi tgk AJL21 and also nak pi perasmian boutique/ salon kecantikan my auntie on the 21st also. Dan disamping itu jugak, nak jumpa kawan², anak² hayam (bukan ANAK yer, ANAK² ok! HAHAHAH mati la mek dah bersalin brapa kali tatau!?) and also erm, hmmm tu jer lah kot! Tudiah! Update pasal kes nak balik KL dalam satu perenggan jer - ko mampu!? Ops!
Ok lah - mek nak publish entry nih and mek nak tgk DIVA POPULAR and also itu Anastasia! GIRANGNYE! Heheheh
Duiyen!
Sunday, January 07, 2007
1001 Ragam Manusia On Board...
Lama jugak ek me dinch buat entry pasal pengalaman, sharing experiences mek sewaktu berkhidmat as MAS Cabin Crew, kan? Well kali nih, mek terasa nak buat entry nih, yang thanks to ISIS NATASHA punye ENTRY la mek dapat idea nih. Credits to Isis... *Clap clap! Clap sikit semua... pandainyiieerrrr...*
DISCLAIMER: Dalam entry nih, contoh² cerita yang mek taruk nih, bukan sekadar yang dilalui mek personally, malah ada yang dilalui oleh kawan² mek yang kemudiannya diceritakan kembali pada mek. Cerita² nih bukan gambaran 100% tentang crew MH (MAS) yer. Apa yang me ceritakan here basically what either me, or my friends personally went through dan with no niat nak burukkan mana² pihak - be it crew ke, passengers ke or even MH as for that matter. My main tujuan is just to share. Thank you...
Bukan skadar keje dengan airliner, bahkan, keje mana² sekalipon yang ade dealing with kelibat manusia as pelanggan, macam keje banks ke, penyambut tetamu ke, hotels ke ape ke, or even keje office dimana kite kena jumpa/ berinteraksi with another human beings, sudah pasti dan semestinya we're bound to meet 1001 jenis ragam manusia, kan? And as for me, waktu keje dengan MAS dulu, mek also had the opportunity to meet 1001 types of people bergelar passengers/ customers, yang adakalahnya, tak mematuhi piagam "CUSTOMERS ARE ALWAYS RIGHT"<- dalam hati mek, yaaakkdush! Tak der maknenye u're always right when u're always WRONG! Kan?
ENCOUNTER 1 - Refreshment Service
Kes nih, bukan setakat kawan² mek yang went throught it - mek pon lalui jugak and personally, my encounter was a bit too much for me not to laugh dan carut dalam hati (DALAM HATI JER YER - ko gila mek nak buat cakap direct depan passenger tu? Mau kena KOMPLEN lepas tu! LOL!). From point A to point B, we call it as 1 flight, kan? For us crew/ orang² airlines, we call it, 1 sector... So mrasalah certain sectors, depending on the flight time and routes, services may differ. Like Alor Star ke KL, sector tu, dan sector² lain dari di Semenanjung Malaysia ke KUL (KL) tu, dikire as short sector domestic flight dan in Economy class, kiteorang serve JUICE/ drinks jer (back then la. Now mek tatau depa serve apa sebab dok naik Air Asia jer kan? Hehehe). So sectors like KUL-KCH (Kuching) and BKI (KK) tu pulak - domestic short sectors, kiteorang serve meals. Like for KCH ke KK pulak, kiteorang serve refreshment ala ala sandwich and juices with coffee or tea bagai, kan? Ha - dalam flight tu la terjadinya insiden iney... bende nih jadik lepas service Economy class completed, collection of refreshment trays done katanya.
Passenger: Hello... hello... (Panggilnya seorang passenger kat mek as dia nampak mek dok catwalk kat aisle B737-400 tu pi mai pi mai dok check the cabin, tgk ade pa per yang boleh dok collect by hands ke ape ke kan...)
Me: (ADOI! Perlu la ko nak berhello²? Like mek ado NAMA, NAME TAG! Tak gherti² nak sebut ley?) Yer Encik... (Tetap nih senyum sokmo lite² sentap dalam hati...)
Passenger: Erm... dah habis dah ke? (Dia tanya sambil dok look around depan belakang cabin)
Me: Ape yang dah habis Encik? (Mek tanya dia, also sambil tgk depan dan belakang cabin - habis apanya tatau!?!)
Passenger: Makan?
Me: Owh - dah Encik. Kenape? Encik nak pa per lagik ke?
Passenger: Ade pa per yang leh makan lagi tak? Sandwich tadi tak kenyang la...
Me: Owh ye ke. Kiteorang ade peanuts and biscuits - maybe saye boleh buatkan coffee or tea if you like? Kite still have time before kite land into KK...
Passenger: Ler... biskut dengan kacang je? Lain² makanan ringan tak der ke? Fries ke, chips ke, salads ke ape ke?
Me: (DALAM HATI MEK, nak jer mek jawab "APA ENCIK PIKIR INI MC. DONALDS KE!? MIGHT AS WELL KO TANYA NASI AYAM MC. D ADA DAK?" kan?) *Sambil senyum lite² mek jawab... Tak der Encik... so Encik nak ke saya buat coffee ke tea ke ape ke?
Passenger: Tak per la. Thanks...
Me: (Dalam hati - SIAL! Merajuk la tu sebab tak der FRIES yer? Hahahahaha!) Ok... if you need anything, please do not hesitate to call any members of the cabin crew... (Giiiituuu lah! Plastic kah!? LALALALA!)
ENCOUNTER 2 - Uniform
As kite semua tahu, kiteorang crew ado uniform sendiri, kan? The stewardesses pakai kebatat (kebaya ketat) and for us, stewards (motif us? HAHAHA mek stewardee - ops!) kite orang ade 2 types of jacket. Satu yang all dark green, dipakai with a tie waktu on ground kat aiport and what not - and the one onboard, during service tu, kan kami pakai jacket lain pulak? Kalau tak notice, sila terbeliakkan bijik mata anda bile naik MAS nanti (tu pun kalau depa still maintain pakai uniform steward yang sama la - katanya nak tukar?). Kan onboard kami pakai jacket hijau bersongket gold kat edges tu, and also dinch pakai tie - pakai dengan bow tie, kan? Ha - mrasalah insiden nih berlaku waktu disembarkation kat airport mana tah. Ingat waktu embarkation naik flight jer ke the lorong² dalam aircraft tu jam? Mrasalah nak turun dari flight pun ada kalanya jam. Dan waktu tu la jadi insiden nih...
Passenger: So *****, lepas nih end of duty ke, or u guys flying off ke somewhere lagi?
Me: Dah habis dah - boleh cha alif bot! Hehehehe
Passenger: (Gelak sesama dengan mek) Suke la ye? Eh, tadi bukan you pakai jacket yang ade tenunan songket emas tu ke?
Me: (Motif ko taste kat mek ke yang ko prasan mek dah tukar jacket, bersedia nak berambus balik?) Hmmm, owh itu jacket for service onboard jer. Kami nak balik, kena tukar pakai yang ini pulak...
Passenger: Ic ic. Cantek jacket yang service tadi tu. You guys dapat tukar baru every year ke cemana?
Me: (Sambil mek nengok jam - haiii! Lembab pulak dahhh disembarkation kali nih! Mek dah ngantuk dan penat nih!) Ha ah - yearly. Tapi I hardly change pun sebab masih dalam keadaan elok, tak baik wasting...
Passenger: Itu la, kalau elok lagi, rugi jer tukar, kan? Tapi kalau diaorang suruh tukar jugak? Yang lama dipulangkan or disimpan?
Me: Sepatutnya dipulangkan - tapi I normally simpan. So banyak siket stock kat umah boleh tukar² - tak der lah lusuh nanti, kan? :)
Passenger: Ic. Eh tapi kalau dah banyak sangat, call la I... boleh bagi kat I satu set, nak pakai raya...
KEJI LAH! Ini pickup line yang paling HAZAB LAH! Ko taste kat mek ke, taste kat uniform mek!? Kalau taste kat uniform mek, ko memang SICK! Motif nak pakai jacket yang ade tenunan songket gold yang also ade logo MAS tu utk RAYA!?!?!?!?! Gila ka apa?! Ke feeling² nak mengaku diri kau pon crew?! Dan kalau ko taste kat mek dan ini lah gayanya kau nak tackle mek, ala ala pickup line tu, ko memang SICK also! Keji lah! MEK GELAK DALAM HATI JER!
ENCOUNTER 3 - Drink Order
Ini jadi kat mek waktu mek buat flight international long haul flight, dan mek diassignedkan keje in Business Class. Procedure wise, lepas take off, sebelum start any meal service, drinks yang telah diorder oleh penumpang, akan diservekan, sambil depa makan satay dulu, sebelum service meal dimulakan. Dan waktu tu, on ground lagi, since passenger in Business Class tak ramai (eh, ramai ke tak ramai ke, tetap kena buat procedure nih), mek dah started amek drink order, utk pass kat galley steward (FS B) mek. Yer, waktu tu mek keje Business class stewardess (FSS B). Eh, mek dah citer dah dulu nih, kan? Sapa keje dalam cabin, regardless dia laki ke pompuan ke adek² ke, designated job dia tu diberi nama Stewardess Cabin. And sape keje Galley, regardless dia steward ke stewardess ke stewardee ke, dia akan digelar Galley Steward. Gittu... so anyways...
Me: Excuse me Sir, any drinks for you after take off? (In Business Class and First Class, nama passenger harus disebut. NAMUN, sekiranya PIS *Passenger Information Sheet* belom diserahkan oleh ground staff ke supervisor crew dan belum dipasskan kepada the cabin stewardess, mrasalah kena SIR dan MADAM jer, kan?)
Passenger: Erm... I would like to have, tea please...
Me: How would you like your tea Sir?
Passenger: (Mujur dia tak jawab cam 'orang tu' - "I would like my tea in a cup", kan? HAHAHA! Mek tannak sebut sape, satgi mek kena SAMAN! LALALAL! Kalau u ols check my previous past past entries pasal MAS and me nih kan, mrasalah you'll find out siapa yang cakap "TEA IN A CUP" tu, kan? Heheh or was it COFFEE tatau? Hurmmm...) Make it black, with 2 sugars pls... (cubes yer!)
Me: Will do, thank you Sir...
Passenger: Owh yes and add some ice with it...
Me: Err, ok Sir... will do...
Passenger: And yes please add some lime cordial, and garnish with lemon slice, and have that drink in a glass and not in a cup please? Thanks...
MACAM KESIAL! Bukankan lebih senang kalau ko cakap, "I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE ICE LEMON TEA" !?!?!?!!?!?!?! Macam gampang! Passengers are always right ley? Ini right la sangat, kan? Walhal ada lagi cara nak RIGHT kan keadaan tu. Order bagai nak rak, alih² ICE LEMON TEA! Tak ke sentap aku time tu habiskan 5 minit utk dia sorang je? Owh well! He paid for the flight and for my salary too, yeah true. Tapi perlu la ko nak bagi tahu cara² nak buat your drink sekali? HAHAHAHAHAHAAH!
ENCOUNTER 4 - Aircraft Properties
Pillows, blankets, cutleries, apa² jer product/ perkakasan hak milik airlines, by right, TAK LEH DIBAWAK TURUN yer. Tapi kalau ade yang curik² bawak turun tu, hehehe - kalau lepas dari security, dan tak kena tangkap, ok lah. Kalau kena, mrasalah pulangkan balik! PULANGKAN! Hahahaha!
Tapi yang ini, kesahnye agak LAIN sikit. Bukan mek yang laluinya - tapi kawan mek. Batchgirl mek yang went through this dan citerkan kat kami semua...
Scene: After all passengers dah disembarked keluar dari flight. Crew² tgh sebok check for bende² yang maybe tertinggal ke ape ke oleh passengers, and some sebok helping the aircraft cleaners clean the cabin, preparing for the next flight, sebok betul²kan newspapers and doing all the on-ground transit duties... when the securiy came onboard with one passenger, aged dalam linkungan 24 to 25, Malay man, nerdy a bit, and nampak cam, tah - cam tak betul lite² geeky jer?
Leading stewardess: Ade apa nih bang?
Security: Cik tanya la dia sendiri apa dia dah ambik turun dari flight nih?
Leading stewardess: Encik, Encik ada ambik ape ape barang hakmilik MAS nih ke?
Passenger: *Tunduk - diam*
Leading stewardess: Bang, apa dia dah amek bang? Kalau setakat pillows/ blankets ke ape ke - ala bende kecik jer bang...
Security: Cik tanya la bebetul apa dia amek. Tapi kalau dia taknak cakap, cuba tgk apa yang dok tergantung terjuntai keluar dari beg dia nih...
Si leading nih pon dok la belek² - apa kebendenye... familar sangat bende berjuntai tu...
Leading stewardess: YA ALLAH! LIFE VEST!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!
Ha hamek kau! Bukan EY (economy) pillows and blankets ke, or styrene juice cups or what not yer - LIFE VEST YER! Yang dok ado kat bawah seat tu! KO ADO!? Kalau ado, ko mamps ley!? Kawan mek time tu dah tergelak² dalam hati tgk leading stewardess mek macam nak pengsan. Yer lah, if found missing, Leading tu la kena sebab... err... tah? Ke the captain tah? Tapi yang mek tau, big problem la for the whole set of crew kalau the lifevest tak cukup katanya, kan?
Apa alasan budak tu tatau?
Passenger: Saya baru 1st time naik kapal terbang, dan mungkin last time saya nak naik kapal terbang. Saya sakit dan mungkin tak hidup lama. Saya nak abadikan kenangan saya naik flight, selama²nya abadi dalam hidup saya...
AND YOU DECIDED TO CURIK AMEK BUAT TANDA INGATAN LEY BY AMEK LIFE VEST MAS!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Kesian gak mek dgr dia nye alasan - nak mati dah, hidup dah tak lama, kan? Tapi perlu la kau mencuri sebelum mati?
Kalau kes macam nih tetap nak kata "PASSENGERS ARE ALWAYS RIGHT" - mek nak BUNOH DIRI!
ENCOUNTER 5 - Teh Tarik
Bende nih jadi kat seoarang teman mek, Leading stewardess. Dan lepas tu, ade selang beberapa bulan, like dejavu, berlaku kat mek piuler! HAHAHA... keji la keji! It was KBR-KUL sector, (Kota Bharu ke KL - and ini sector kawan mek tu yer. Kesah mek, similar to this la, only thing was mek acting Leading steward sebab Leading mek MIA for flight, dan mek had a junior steward with me. Whereas kawan mek nih, Leading stewardess, and had a junior stewardess working with her in B737 Business Class cabin yang memuatkan 16 seat dan it was FULL flight, 16 passengers... all men katanya, ala ala business/ government ppl... mati la if Isis, dia address them as P²WS, kan? Pakcik Pakcik Waktu Senja, KAN ISIS!? Mati la kau!) Dan sepertimana kite tahu (or may not know), KBR-KUL sector, short flight, kan? And Business Class, diaorang serve refreshment (in economy, juice sector sajork - mati la with fries and chips and salads too! LOL!). So anyways, berbalik pada citer kawan mek nih...
On ground: As all passengers boarded the flight, stewardess tu sebok serve welcoming juice, hot towel, simpan jackets pakcik² tu semua and entertained them with other things like news paper lain, selali yang dalam seat-pocket in front of their seats tu and stuffs. And lepas tu, as the stewardess nak buat drink-order for after take off, utk diserve sekali dengan refreshment tu, it was time to do the Safety Demo briefing. So tertunda japs her Drink Order tu. Lepas dah habis safety demo, dia quickly nak amek drink order supaya tak kelam kabut after take off baru nak amek, takut lambat pulak. And waktu dia dok amek drink order tu, ala² aircrafts engines dah on, so ala ala dengar tak dgr jer passengers nih cakap ape kan, (biasalah - Business Class pax kan profile depa semua high² class - majority la kan, and diaorang bukan jenis cakap kuat macam kat pasar, kan? BUT NOT THIS TIME!!!) and the junior stewardess pulak, PEKAK, kan... so mrasalah... ditanya nya berulang kali kedua rasenye...
Stewardess: Ape dia Encik?
Passenger: TEH TARIK, KURANG MANIS - 2 SUGARS PLS!
And waktu tu, she was only asking the 1st two passenger's drink orders. MRASALAH kerana kepekakkannye si stewardess tu, by the time dia HABIS amek all 16 pax drink order, penumpang² lain yang dgr jeritan 1st passenger tadi tu mintak teh tarik, HABIS yang lain² nih pon gigih mintak teh tarik also! Kalau dah selalu naik business class, tak yah la jerit kalau kami crew tak dgr. Tak salah hang anjakkan badan hang tu siket, pi dekat² siket stewardess/ steward tu, dan ala ala cakap slow² yang hang nak TEH TARIK KURANG MANIS 2 CUBES OF SUGAR, kan!? Hang ingat nih kedai MAMAK!? Dan yang lain² 15 pax nih pon, adoi la - dah dgq sorang mintak teh tarik, semua pakat nak mintak teh tarik. Mau tak semput, kempot, nak mampos kami yang nak buat teh tarik one by one bagainya tarik nak rak dalam galley sempit Business Class B737 tu! Kesian kawan mek. Dia tarik lah one by one teh tarik tu.
Tapi kes mek lain SIKIT. Kalau kes nih tadik si passenger tu yang jerit, kes mek, si steward mek yang PEKAK OVERDOSE dan very the suara kalahkan suara garau mek - dia yang pi jerit...
Steward: OWH, nak TEH TARIK YER. Sorry yer Encik, tak brapa jelas...
Nah! Habis semua passenger dalam business class tu nak teh tarik also. MEK DAH CUAK! Hello!? Mek masuk training school, mana ada diajar buat teh tarik sampai 16 glass. Tapi MUJUR ade sorang senior steward pernah kasik tips cemana nak buat teh tarik EXPRESS. (MANA² crew yang baca teknik nih kat blog mek nih, kalau dah tau,ok la. Kalau yang baru tahu, dan cuba nak buat, kalau KENA dengan mana² supervisory crew or senior crew, jgn hang nak kata mak ajaq nah! Sendiri buat, sendiri mau tanggung!)
1. Masukkan uncang teh yang banyak² tu dalam tea jug
2. Rendam dengan air panas sehingga mencapai kepekatan yang diingini
3. Keluarkan uncang² teh tu
4. Masukkan gula (cubes) secukup rasa - hentam jer lah
5. Masukkan susu kedalam jug itiew (On board kami tak der susu pekat - dan bukan susu tepung yer, mind you. Kami guna evoporated milk yer... mek sker!) sehingga mencapai color teh susu yang sewajarnya (pon, mek main pakai boh ikutdan jer, dan hentam jer la labu!)
6. What? Tuang/ tarik ke dalam gelas? ADDINCH! Step 6, masukkan teh susu panas yang dah siap tu kedalam botol MINERAL WATER BESAR yang kosong... tutup botol tu dengan penutup. AWAS: Jgn tuang teh susu tu PENUH sampai satu botol tu. AGAK² dah ler like, 3/4 full?
7. KOCAK YAHHH KOCAKKKKK! GONCANG DEKNON GONCANG! Hoyehhhhh hoooyehhhh!!!! *Dinasihatkan buat adengan lucah - that'll make it even FUN! LOL!
8. Tuang ke dalam gelas - DAH! Siap ade buih! MRASA!!!
Mati la mak! Hahahahahahahaha
DISCLAIMER: Dalam entry nih, contoh² cerita yang mek taruk nih, bukan sekadar yang dilalui mek personally, malah ada yang dilalui oleh kawan² mek yang kemudiannya diceritakan kembali pada mek. Cerita² nih bukan gambaran 100% tentang crew MH (MAS) yer. Apa yang me ceritakan here basically what either me, or my friends personally went through dan with no niat nak burukkan mana² pihak - be it crew ke, passengers ke or even MH as for that matter. My main tujuan is just to share. Thank you...
Bukan skadar keje dengan airliner, bahkan, keje mana² sekalipon yang ade dealing with kelibat manusia as pelanggan, macam keje banks ke, penyambut tetamu ke, hotels ke ape ke, or even keje office dimana kite kena jumpa/ berinteraksi with another human beings, sudah pasti dan semestinya we're bound to meet 1001 jenis ragam manusia, kan? And as for me, waktu keje dengan MAS dulu, mek also had the opportunity to meet 1001 types of people bergelar passengers/ customers, yang adakalahnya, tak mematuhi piagam "CUSTOMERS ARE ALWAYS RIGHT"<- dalam hati mek, yaaakkdush! Tak der maknenye u're always right when u're always WRONG! Kan?
ENCOUNTER 1 - Refreshment Service
Kes nih, bukan setakat kawan² mek yang went throught it - mek pon lalui jugak and personally, my encounter was a bit too much for me not to laugh dan carut dalam hati (DALAM HATI JER YER - ko gila mek nak buat cakap direct depan passenger tu? Mau kena KOMPLEN lepas tu! LOL!). From point A to point B, we call it as 1 flight, kan? For us crew/ orang² airlines, we call it, 1 sector... So mrasalah certain sectors, depending on the flight time and routes, services may differ. Like Alor Star ke KL, sector tu, dan sector² lain dari di Semenanjung Malaysia ke KUL (KL) tu, dikire as short sector domestic flight dan in Economy class, kiteorang serve JUICE/ drinks jer (back then la. Now mek tatau depa serve apa sebab dok naik Air Asia jer kan? Hehehe). So sectors like KUL-KCH (Kuching) and BKI (KK) tu pulak - domestic short sectors, kiteorang serve meals. Like for KCH ke KK pulak, kiteorang serve refreshment ala ala sandwich and juices with coffee or tea bagai, kan? Ha - dalam flight tu la terjadinya insiden iney... bende nih jadik lepas service Economy class completed, collection of refreshment trays done katanya.
Passenger: Hello... hello... (Panggilnya seorang passenger kat mek as dia nampak mek dok catwalk kat aisle B737-400 tu pi mai pi mai dok check the cabin, tgk ade pa per yang boleh dok collect by hands ke ape ke kan...)
Me: (ADOI! Perlu la ko nak berhello²? Like mek ado NAMA, NAME TAG! Tak gherti² nak sebut ley?) Yer Encik... (Tetap nih senyum sokmo lite² sentap dalam hati...)
Passenger: Erm... dah habis dah ke? (Dia tanya sambil dok look around depan belakang cabin)
Me: Ape yang dah habis Encik? (Mek tanya dia, also sambil tgk depan dan belakang cabin - habis apanya tatau!?!)
Passenger: Makan?
Me: Owh - dah Encik. Kenape? Encik nak pa per lagik ke?
Passenger: Ade pa per yang leh makan lagi tak? Sandwich tadi tak kenyang la...
Me: Owh ye ke. Kiteorang ade peanuts and biscuits - maybe saye boleh buatkan coffee or tea if you like? Kite still have time before kite land into KK...
Passenger: Ler... biskut dengan kacang je? Lain² makanan ringan tak der ke? Fries ke, chips ke, salads ke ape ke?
Me: (DALAM HATI MEK, nak jer mek jawab "APA ENCIK PIKIR INI MC. DONALDS KE!? MIGHT AS WELL KO TANYA NASI AYAM MC. D ADA DAK?" kan?) *Sambil senyum lite² mek jawab... Tak der Encik... so Encik nak ke saya buat coffee ke tea ke ape ke?
Passenger: Tak per la. Thanks...
Me: (Dalam hati - SIAL! Merajuk la tu sebab tak der FRIES yer? Hahahahaha!) Ok... if you need anything, please do not hesitate to call any members of the cabin crew... (Giiiituuu lah! Plastic kah!? LALALALA!)
ENCOUNTER 2 - Uniform
As kite semua tahu, kiteorang crew ado uniform sendiri, kan? The stewardesses pakai kebatat (kebaya ketat) and for us, stewards (motif us? HAHAHA mek stewardee - ops!) kite orang ade 2 types of jacket. Satu yang all dark green, dipakai with a tie waktu on ground kat aiport and what not - and the one onboard, during service tu, kan kami pakai jacket lain pulak? Kalau tak notice, sila terbeliakkan bijik mata anda bile naik MAS nanti (tu pun kalau depa still maintain pakai uniform steward yang sama la - katanya nak tukar?). Kan onboard kami pakai jacket hijau bersongket gold kat edges tu, and also dinch pakai tie - pakai dengan bow tie, kan? Ha - mrasalah insiden nih berlaku waktu disembarkation kat airport mana tah. Ingat waktu embarkation naik flight jer ke the lorong² dalam aircraft tu jam? Mrasalah nak turun dari flight pun ada kalanya jam. Dan waktu tu la jadi insiden nih...
Passenger: So *****, lepas nih end of duty ke, or u guys flying off ke somewhere lagi?
Me: Dah habis dah - boleh cha alif bot! Hehehehe
Passenger: (Gelak sesama dengan mek) Suke la ye? Eh, tadi bukan you pakai jacket yang ade tenunan songket emas tu ke?
Me: (Motif ko taste kat mek ke yang ko prasan mek dah tukar jacket, bersedia nak berambus balik?) Hmmm, owh itu jacket for service onboard jer. Kami nak balik, kena tukar pakai yang ini pulak...
Passenger: Ic ic. Cantek jacket yang service tadi tu. You guys dapat tukar baru every year ke cemana?
Me: (Sambil mek nengok jam - haiii! Lembab pulak dahhh disembarkation kali nih! Mek dah ngantuk dan penat nih!) Ha ah - yearly. Tapi I hardly change pun sebab masih dalam keadaan elok, tak baik wasting...
Passenger: Itu la, kalau elok lagi, rugi jer tukar, kan? Tapi kalau diaorang suruh tukar jugak? Yang lama dipulangkan or disimpan?
Me: Sepatutnya dipulangkan - tapi I normally simpan. So banyak siket stock kat umah boleh tukar² - tak der lah lusuh nanti, kan? :)
Passenger: Ic. Eh tapi kalau dah banyak sangat, call la I... boleh bagi kat I satu set, nak pakai raya...
KEJI LAH! Ini pickup line yang paling HAZAB LAH! Ko taste kat mek ke, taste kat uniform mek!? Kalau taste kat uniform mek, ko memang SICK! Motif nak pakai jacket yang ade tenunan songket gold yang also ade logo MAS tu utk RAYA!?!?!?!?! Gila ka apa?! Ke feeling² nak mengaku diri kau pon crew?! Dan kalau ko taste kat mek dan ini lah gayanya kau nak tackle mek, ala ala pickup line tu, ko memang SICK also! Keji lah! MEK GELAK DALAM HATI JER!
ENCOUNTER 3 - Drink Order
Ini jadi kat mek waktu mek buat flight international long haul flight, dan mek diassignedkan keje in Business Class. Procedure wise, lepas take off, sebelum start any meal service, drinks yang telah diorder oleh penumpang, akan diservekan, sambil depa makan satay dulu, sebelum service meal dimulakan. Dan waktu tu, on ground lagi, since passenger in Business Class tak ramai (eh, ramai ke tak ramai ke, tetap kena buat procedure nih), mek dah started amek drink order, utk pass kat galley steward (FS B) mek. Yer, waktu tu mek keje Business class stewardess (FSS B). Eh, mek dah citer dah dulu nih, kan? Sapa keje dalam cabin, regardless dia laki ke pompuan ke adek² ke, designated job dia tu diberi nama Stewardess Cabin. And sape keje Galley, regardless dia steward ke stewardess ke stewardee ke, dia akan digelar Galley Steward. Gittu... so anyways...
Me: Excuse me Sir, any drinks for you after take off? (In Business Class and First Class, nama passenger harus disebut. NAMUN, sekiranya PIS *Passenger Information Sheet* belom diserahkan oleh ground staff ke supervisor crew dan belum dipasskan kepada the cabin stewardess, mrasalah kena SIR dan MADAM jer, kan?)
Passenger: Erm... I would like to have, tea please...
Me: How would you like your tea Sir?
Passenger: (Mujur dia tak jawab cam 'orang tu' - "I would like my tea in a cup", kan? HAHAHA! Mek tannak sebut sape, satgi mek kena SAMAN! LALALAL! Kalau u ols check my previous past past entries pasal MAS and me nih kan, mrasalah you'll find out siapa yang cakap "TEA IN A CUP" tu, kan? Heheh or was it COFFEE tatau? Hurmmm...) Make it black, with 2 sugars pls... (cubes yer!)
Me: Will do, thank you Sir...
Passenger: Owh yes and add some ice with it...
Me: Err, ok Sir... will do...
Passenger: And yes please add some lime cordial, and garnish with lemon slice, and have that drink in a glass and not in a cup please? Thanks...
MACAM KESIAL! Bukankan lebih senang kalau ko cakap, "I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE ICE LEMON TEA" !?!?!?!!?!?!?! Macam gampang! Passengers are always right ley? Ini right la sangat, kan? Walhal ada lagi cara nak RIGHT kan keadaan tu. Order bagai nak rak, alih² ICE LEMON TEA! Tak ke sentap aku time tu habiskan 5 minit utk dia sorang je? Owh well! He paid for the flight and for my salary too, yeah true. Tapi perlu la ko nak bagi tahu cara² nak buat your drink sekali? HAHAHAHAHAHAAH!
ENCOUNTER 4 - Aircraft Properties
Pillows, blankets, cutleries, apa² jer product/ perkakasan hak milik airlines, by right, TAK LEH DIBAWAK TURUN yer. Tapi kalau ade yang curik² bawak turun tu, hehehe - kalau lepas dari security, dan tak kena tangkap, ok lah. Kalau kena, mrasalah pulangkan balik! PULANGKAN! Hahahaha!
Tapi yang ini, kesahnye agak LAIN sikit. Bukan mek yang laluinya - tapi kawan mek. Batchgirl mek yang went through this dan citerkan kat kami semua...
Scene: After all passengers dah disembarked keluar dari flight. Crew² tgh sebok check for bende² yang maybe tertinggal ke ape ke oleh passengers, and some sebok helping the aircraft cleaners clean the cabin, preparing for the next flight, sebok betul²kan newspapers and doing all the on-ground transit duties... when the securiy came onboard with one passenger, aged dalam linkungan 24 to 25, Malay man, nerdy a bit, and nampak cam, tah - cam tak betul lite² geeky jer?
Leading stewardess: Ade apa nih bang?
Security: Cik tanya la dia sendiri apa dia dah ambik turun dari flight nih?
Leading stewardess: Encik, Encik ada ambik ape ape barang hakmilik MAS nih ke?
Passenger: *Tunduk - diam*
Leading stewardess: Bang, apa dia dah amek bang? Kalau setakat pillows/ blankets ke ape ke - ala bende kecik jer bang...
Security: Cik tanya la bebetul apa dia amek. Tapi kalau dia taknak cakap, cuba tgk apa yang dok tergantung terjuntai keluar dari beg dia nih...
Si leading nih pon dok la belek² - apa kebendenye... familar sangat bende berjuntai tu...
Leading stewardess: YA ALLAH! LIFE VEST!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!
Ha hamek kau! Bukan EY (economy) pillows and blankets ke, or styrene juice cups or what not yer - LIFE VEST YER! Yang dok ado kat bawah seat tu! KO ADO!? Kalau ado, ko mamps ley!? Kawan mek time tu dah tergelak² dalam hati tgk leading stewardess mek macam nak pengsan. Yer lah, if found missing, Leading tu la kena sebab... err... tah? Ke the captain tah? Tapi yang mek tau, big problem la for the whole set of crew kalau the lifevest tak cukup katanya, kan?
Apa alasan budak tu tatau?
Passenger: Saya baru 1st time naik kapal terbang, dan mungkin last time saya nak naik kapal terbang. Saya sakit dan mungkin tak hidup lama. Saya nak abadikan kenangan saya naik flight, selama²nya abadi dalam hidup saya...
AND YOU DECIDED TO CURIK AMEK BUAT TANDA INGATAN LEY BY AMEK LIFE VEST MAS!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Kesian gak mek dgr dia nye alasan - nak mati dah, hidup dah tak lama, kan? Tapi perlu la kau mencuri sebelum mati?
Kalau kes macam nih tetap nak kata "PASSENGERS ARE ALWAYS RIGHT" - mek nak BUNOH DIRI!
ENCOUNTER 5 - Teh Tarik
Bende nih jadi kat seoarang teman mek, Leading stewardess. Dan lepas tu, ade selang beberapa bulan, like dejavu, berlaku kat mek piuler! HAHAHA... keji la keji! It was KBR-KUL sector, (Kota Bharu ke KL - and ini sector kawan mek tu yer. Kesah mek, similar to this la, only thing was mek acting Leading steward sebab Leading mek MIA for flight, dan mek had a junior steward with me. Whereas kawan mek nih, Leading stewardess, and had a junior stewardess working with her in B737 Business Class cabin yang memuatkan 16 seat dan it was FULL flight, 16 passengers... all men katanya, ala ala business/ government ppl... mati la if Isis, dia address them as P²WS, kan? Pakcik Pakcik Waktu Senja, KAN ISIS!? Mati la kau!) Dan sepertimana kite tahu (or may not know), KBR-KUL sector, short flight, kan? And Business Class, diaorang serve refreshment (in economy, juice sector sajork - mati la with fries and chips and salads too! LOL!). So anyways, berbalik pada citer kawan mek nih...
On ground: As all passengers boarded the flight, stewardess tu sebok serve welcoming juice, hot towel, simpan jackets pakcik² tu semua and entertained them with other things like news paper lain, selali yang dalam seat-pocket in front of their seats tu and stuffs. And lepas tu, as the stewardess nak buat drink-order for after take off, utk diserve sekali dengan refreshment tu, it was time to do the Safety Demo briefing. So tertunda japs her Drink Order tu. Lepas dah habis safety demo, dia quickly nak amek drink order supaya tak kelam kabut after take off baru nak amek, takut lambat pulak. And waktu dia dok amek drink order tu, ala² aircrafts engines dah on, so ala ala dengar tak dgr jer passengers nih cakap ape kan, (biasalah - Business Class pax kan profile depa semua high² class - majority la kan, and diaorang bukan jenis cakap kuat macam kat pasar, kan? BUT NOT THIS TIME!!!) and the junior stewardess pulak, PEKAK, kan... so mrasalah... ditanya nya berulang kali kedua rasenye...
Stewardess: Ape dia Encik?
Passenger: TEH TARIK, KURANG MANIS - 2 SUGARS PLS!
And waktu tu, she was only asking the 1st two passenger's drink orders. MRASALAH kerana kepekakkannye si stewardess tu, by the time dia HABIS amek all 16 pax drink order, penumpang² lain yang dgr jeritan 1st passenger tadi tu mintak teh tarik, HABIS yang lain² nih pon gigih mintak teh tarik also! Kalau dah selalu naik business class, tak yah la jerit kalau kami crew tak dgr. Tak salah hang anjakkan badan hang tu siket, pi dekat² siket stewardess/ steward tu, dan ala ala cakap slow² yang hang nak TEH TARIK KURANG MANIS 2 CUBES OF SUGAR, kan!? Hang ingat nih kedai MAMAK!? Dan yang lain² 15 pax nih pon, adoi la - dah dgq sorang mintak teh tarik, semua pakat nak mintak teh tarik. Mau tak semput, kempot, nak mampos kami yang nak buat teh tarik one by one bagainya tarik nak rak dalam galley sempit Business Class B737 tu! Kesian kawan mek. Dia tarik lah one by one teh tarik tu.
Tapi kes mek lain SIKIT. Kalau kes nih tadik si passenger tu yang jerit, kes mek, si steward mek yang PEKAK OVERDOSE dan very the suara kalahkan suara garau mek - dia yang pi jerit...
Steward: OWH, nak TEH TARIK YER. Sorry yer Encik, tak brapa jelas...
Nah! Habis semua passenger dalam business class tu nak teh tarik also. MEK DAH CUAK! Hello!? Mek masuk training school, mana ada diajar buat teh tarik sampai 16 glass. Tapi MUJUR ade sorang senior steward pernah kasik tips cemana nak buat teh tarik EXPRESS. (MANA² crew yang baca teknik nih kat blog mek nih, kalau dah tau,ok la. Kalau yang baru tahu, dan cuba nak buat, kalau KENA dengan mana² supervisory crew or senior crew, jgn hang nak kata mak ajaq nah! Sendiri buat, sendiri mau tanggung!)
1. Masukkan uncang teh yang banyak² tu dalam tea jug
2. Rendam dengan air panas sehingga mencapai kepekatan yang diingini
3. Keluarkan uncang² teh tu
4. Masukkan gula (cubes) secukup rasa - hentam jer lah
5. Masukkan susu kedalam jug itiew (On board kami tak der susu pekat - dan bukan susu tepung yer, mind you. Kami guna evoporated milk yer... mek sker!) sehingga mencapai color teh susu yang sewajarnya (pon, mek main pakai boh ikutdan jer, dan hentam jer la labu!)
6. What? Tuang/ tarik ke dalam gelas? ADDINCH! Step 6, masukkan teh susu panas yang dah siap tu kedalam botol MINERAL WATER BESAR yang kosong... tutup botol tu dengan penutup. AWAS: Jgn tuang teh susu tu PENUH sampai satu botol tu. AGAK² dah ler like, 3/4 full?
7. KOCAK YAHHH KOCAKKKKK! GONCANG DEKNON GONCANG! Hoyehhhhh hoooyehhhh!!!! *Dinasihatkan buat adengan lucah - that'll make it even FUN! LOL!
8. Tuang ke dalam gelas - DAH! Siap ade buih! MRASA!!!
Mati la mak! Hahahahahahahaha
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- These links are to some of my many entries posted either at my blogspot page, or here at my blogdrive page. I took the liberty to link those entries so that it'll be a whole lot easier for you people to read. Plus I decided to divide 'em into separate categories; easier for you guys to choose I guess! So, enjoy! And don't forget to comment on my entries, ok? Thanks!!!
LINKS (Last Updated: May 21st, 2007)
Where to find Nurlea Laurielle?
Find from the list - click, and you got me!
Bloggers List
A collection of 'Must-go', 'Must-see' and 'Must-read' blogs!
Interesting Fotopages
A picture speaks a thousand words... Imagine how many words would a thousand pictures speak?
Showbiz & Entertainment
Webbies and blogs belonging to celebrities and people from the industry - List will continue to grow... hehe!
Other links
Go figure! Links to other sites - Most of these links are from my Bookmarks. Hope you'll find it cool too!
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