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Thursday, January 04, 2007

For the name of LOVE?




Sham: Sayang... I'm getting married...

Sofi: *Sigh* *Tersenyum...* Orang dah jangka dah, masa cam gini pasti akan tiba. Tapi orang tak sangka la pulak masa tu akan tiba sepantas ini.

Sham: Sayang, ini bukan kehendak orang. Dia tahu, kan? Dia paham, kan? Ibu orang dah mendesak... katanya orang dah sampai masa utk berumahtangga dan take life seriously

Sofi: *Sigh... again* Orang paham...

Sham: Sayang, jgn la macam ni. Dia tahu kan, hanya dia saja dalam hati orang. Tapi ibu tetap dengan keputusannya nak orang kawin segera dengan Sarah. Orang dah buntu, tak tahu apa nak buat, melainkan menerima saja takdirNYA. Tapi dia kena ingat yang orang bukan nak sakitkan hati dia or anything. Orang dah tak der pilihan. Orang taknak kecewakan harapan ibu, but at the same time orang tak tergamak nak lukakan hati dia... tapi...

Sofi: Like I said, I understand... Sekiranya ini yang terbaik utk dia, orang akan tetap bahagia... Besides, memang dia kena lalui jugak semua nih - dia kan straight. Orang paham...

I'm sure at this point, you readers would have managed to guess it right, that, this conversation, is between a straight guy who has been seeing and getting into a relationship with a not-so-straight girl i.e. a drag queen...

Sham: Sayang, don't make this harder on me...

Sofi: No, I'm not... I'm telling you, it's ok. Mungkin jodoh kita sampai disini. Tapi dia kena ingat... biarpun kita sampai disini saja, orang akan tetap sayangkan dia. Orang doakan yang dia akan bahagia disamping Sara, yang bagi ibu dia, lebih layak duduk disamping dia...

Sham: *Terdiam*

Sofi: 2 tahun lepas bile kite declared, kite dah jangka bende ni akan berlaku. Kite tahu, selama mana kita mungkin dan mampu bertahan, dia tetap straight dan tetap kena teruskan hidup as a straight man, kan? Lain la kalau dia bukan straight; dia gay ke or ape ke, itu lain citer. Ini, dia sendiri mengaku yang dia still have feelings towards girls, so I guess, orang tak leh la nak sekat dia from leading your normal straight life, betul tak?

Sham: *Mengangguk² saja...*

Sofi: Yang, listen to me. Orang redha dengan keadaan, dan orang terima segalanya. Orang anggap semua ni sebagai dugaan hidup orang. Dan dengan rela hati, demi cinta orang terhadap dia, orang sanggup lepaskan dia...

Sham: Tapi orang taknak lepaskan dia... orang sayangkan dia!

Sofi: Abis tu, macam mana? You can't be selfish you know - you can't have both, me and Sara. It wouldn't be fair for Sara, it wouldn't be fair for me as well - you know that as much as I do Yang...

Sham: Walaupun orang kawin dengan Sara, orang tetap nak dia...

At this point, somehow or rather, honestly, Sara was the least that Sofi could ever think of. It's Sham who's in her heart and wandering mind...

Sofi: Berilah orang tempoh, sedikit masa, utk orang pikirkan hal nih...

Sham: You have the world to think about this; so long as at the end of that time, dia tak decide to end all this...

And masa berlalu, Sham went through the marriage with Sara, and still, seeing Sofi. Although not as often as before, although not as close as before, Sofi and Sham still boleh diconsiderkan as couples. It breaks Sofi's heart seeing Sara and Sham, right in front of her very own eyes. Tapi kenyataannya, Sofi terpaksa terima yang dia jauh berbeza dengan Sara. Sara tulen, and she's not... and it's only fair that Sofi benarkan Sara dalam hidup Sham sebab it's only natural; Sofi and Sham - that's against the natural law...

For Sofi, setelah nearly berbulan berlalu that Sham and Sara diijabkabulkan, dia merasakan, it's time for her to move on as well. She loved Sham, more than anything. She cared for Sham, just as much that she cared for him even before Sham got married. Tapi its all so, different now. When she said that she'll continue to see Sham, love Sham and all for him, after he got married, she was like, lonely, sad, depressed and all upset. Bluntly put, she had no choice. She was in too deep for Sham; and for the sake of the love for Sham, she lalui jugak the relationship with him; only after the marriage, it is no longer a relationship, more or less like a scandal dengan 'laki orang' now... and after feeling that she is day by day getting further, far away from him, she decides that it's about time that she moves on.

Exactly a year after Sham's marriage to Sara - Sofi found someone. Just as nice as Sham, just as responsible as Sham, just as handsome and tall and all, like Sham... but Sofi masih teragak² to accept Shah; sebab worrying what Sham might think of the idea. So dia pendamkan hasrat, giving excuses and all to Shah, yang constantly everyday cuba menyunting Sofi for his own... until one day...

Sham: Sayang, Sara's pregnant... I'm going to be a father soon!

That was the turning point where Sofi rasa, that's it. It's the end. Enough with her tempering with Sara's husband. Sofi tak sanggup nak go on, messing around with the soon-to-be-born baby, anak kepada Sham. Enough with having scandal dengan 'laki orang' - and now, or should I say, soon, having scandal dengan "bapak budak" pulak? That very instant, utk menutupi luka dihatinya, sebelum it gets any worse, Sofi, finally accepted Shah. True, it may look as though Sofi is using Shah, but the truth was, Shah knew everything, like I told you readers now - from A to Z. Everything! Every single detail and all, Shah knew all about it. And that's why Shah sanggup tunggu, wait and wait, sampai to the extend where Sofi couldn't bare the fact that she bukan sekadar ade hubungan sulit dengan 'laki orang', malah, ade hubungan dengan 'bapak budak'... and penantian Shah berhasil when Sofi found out from Sham that Sara's pregnant...

And soon, tak lama selepas Sofi bercinta dengan Shah, Sham got to know about it, all he went all upset, pissed off, and all..

Sofi: Why are you mad?! Why are you pissed off?

 Sham: Takder lah. Orang tak der nak marah² or anything. Orang just terkejut... Tak sangka dia sanggup buat orang macam ni...

 Sofi: Buat ape?! What have I done? Owh, maksud dia, sampainya hati orang bercinta dengan Shah, and not you anymore?

 Sham: *Terdiam*

 Sofi: Sham... cukup la selama nih kita bercinta. Orang cuba nak stop all this earlier, tapi, bukan sekadar dia, orang sendiri tak mampu. That's why orang continued seeing dia. Dan at that time, orang belum temui any other guy yang mampu take up your role in my life.

Sham: I know...

 Sofi: Sham, kerana orang sayangkan dia lah, orang terpaksa buat macam nih now sebelum it gets worse. Dia bukan sekadar suami orang, malah, soon, dia akan jadi AYAH. Orang tak sanggup...

 Sham: *Terdiam lagi*

 Sofi: Dulu you once said, "Don't make this harder on me..." Now, am asking the same for you. Don't make all this harder on me. If I continue seeing you, I'm not only breaking the hearts of your wife, and your children; most importantly, I'm breaking my own heart...

 Sham: *Terdiam, masih...*

 Sofi: Yang, cakap lah! Jgn membisu cam ni... why can't you be happy for me? Orang nak dia dgr betul² apa orang cakap ni. When you married Sara, I was completely heart-broken. Namun, sebab terlalu sayangkan dia, orang lalui jugak, dan orang terima. Sebab I want the best for you. Dia jangan ingat for even 1 minute, yang selepas dia kawin dengan Sara, orang stopped loving you, stopped caring for you - no. Not even for 1 second pernah terlintas utk orang abaikan dia. I may have found the right person to ease your burden, but that doesn't mean I cannot love u and care for u anymore? Sama macam dia jugak - you married Sara. But you still loved me, you still cared for me, owh for crying out loud, you still slept with me! It's the same thing now, cuma berubah dialog and now the ball is in my side now... Please, be happy for me, as I once happy for you when you had Sara sitting next to you in your life. Orang tak nak gaduh, orang tan nak kita bermasam muka. Orang still nak kawan dengan dia, care for you, love you, but... tah la. I'm only seeing that you're being selfish. You have Sara in your life, wouldn't it be fair now if I have that same privilege? Don't make all these seems fair to you and not for me - Life is all about being fair. You win some, you lose some. You give some, you take some...

 Sham: *Still... diam*

 Sofi: If you want it to end, this way, then orang redha jer dengan kemahuan dan kehendak dia. Tapi dia kena ingat, apa yang dia trasa hati sebab dia dapat tahu orang found somebody else tu, itu baru 1/4 dari apa yang orang had to go through when dia decided to proceed, berkahwin dengan Sara. Orang terima keadaan tu, and hoped for the best. And so why can't dia be like orang back then? All I wanted was for you to be happy - but I guess, all you want is to have both, Sara and me, and you just don't want me to be happy now, do you? Not that am saying that am not happy waktu orang dgn dia. Tapi dia kena paham, orang do this for the best. Orang hanya pikirkan dia, dan the consequences dimasa depan, should it gets deeper, memang akan parah. It might not be parah for you - but it will definitely be for me...

 Sham: Orang relakan dia pergi... terima kasih for all the memories and all...

 Sofi: THAT'S IT? As simple as that jer dia punya reply? I'm not asking you to be all berbunga² dalam berkata², but, that's it? The way you put it, it's like, then end?

Sham: *Terdiam...*

Sofi: So I guess it's true then, you want this to end this way... just to let you know, you've disappointed me... your attitude... really... I wish I saw this coming... I was thinking like, eventhough I'm gonna be with Shah, I was like hoping we could still be friends. But I guess... not...

Am not seeking the answer for questions like - salah siapakah dalam hal ini? Nope - am not. All I'm curious about knowing, dua soalan ni jer...

1. Letting Sham, si "Suami Orang" dan bakal "AYAH" go, out of her life, and having Shah who is equally good like Sham, only difference that he's gay and into drag queens and no longer has interests in girls, into her life, was Sofi's best decision - ever?

2. Was Sham being fair to Sofi? Some might say Sham has the every right to be all upset and all regarding this Sofi pushing him out of her life and having Shah as a replacement - why? Care to tell?

3. (Make that 3 questions...) Salah Sofi ke in the first place to indulge herself dalam perhubungan dengan Suami Orang?

"... Bila kita mencintai yang lain, mungkinkah hati ini akan tegar,
sebisa mungkin tak akan pernah sayangku akan hilang
Our love will stay in my heart... My heart..."



Just another quick q: Dari lirik diatas tu, bukankah ia bermaksud, "Even if aku bercinta dengan orang lain, perit it may seems, tapi, cintaku terhadapmu takkan hilang..." kan? Hurmm...

DISCLAIMER: If you have nothing good to say about this "Based on true-encounter" love entry, then I suggest you don't hit the "COMMENT" button. Save your condempts and hates and dislikings to this entry, the people/ characters in it, away from here ya... remember, I have the advantage - the button "DELETE COMMENT" is just a-mouse-click away... owh and another thing, remember "LOVE ME OR HATE ME, BUT SPARE ME YOUR INDIFFERENCES, ELSEWHERE" - PS: This entry has nothing to do with me nah? True story pun, tapi, bukan ade kena mengena dengan mek tau! Harharhar *Ceh, baru jer feels² sad entry, dah buat lawak spastic! LOL!





Posted at 2:00:00 am by Nurlea Laurielle Lai Lee Abdullah

5thE
January 4, 2007   10:24 AM PST
 
1. Letting Sham, si "Suami Orang" dan bakal "AYAH" go, out of her life, and having Shah who is equally good like Sham, only difference that he's gay and into drag queens and no longer has interests in girls, into her life, was Sofi's best decision - ever?

Why nak go out Sofi's life, just kawan2 ma, at least still have each other, people move on, tapi kalau Sham tu x mo move on, nak wat camne, tapi for me, Sham tak fair la, keadaan tepaksa dia resulted in depression for Sofi, tapi Sofi Redha kan? isk isk... Sham should just grow up. Men kan, mmg like this la, never la cukup with 1, die la tetap nak have 4! well, point is, kawan2 je la, be good friends, jgn la sampai putus, x elok taww putuskan silaturrahim.....

2. Was Sham being fair to Sofi? Some might say Sham has the every right to be all upset and all regarding this Sofi pushing him out of her life and having Shah as a replacement - why? Care to tell?

I think I naswerd this question above dah kot, anyway, if I may add *matila tetap add* Sham tak aci la buat cam tu kat sofi kan, sedangkan nampak gayanya Sofi very der redha with whats happening. Sham shud just terima Shah as partner for Sofi kan? *motif semua charactyer S? barula adil.


3. (Make that 3 questions...) Salah Sofi ke in the first place to indulge herself dalam perhubungan dengan Suami Orang?

Erm, salah besau, sebab suami tu ade tanggungan, sah pulak tu, tapi kalau kawan2 je ok la, but ada la limitationnyer. Matila if this happen to me....
Nadh
January 4, 2007   02:53 PM PST
 
Hmm. Complicated ey? Heh.

Anyway, I personally believe that Sofi is in the wrong. I mean, she SHOULD have ended the relationship when she knows that Sham is getting married. Yerlah, siapa suka kan kalau our partner ada scandal? I mean, if it were to happen to Sofi, mesti dia pun binget kan?

So life moves on - by accepting Shah. =)

Ps: I was about confused about the "orang" & "dia" thingy. LOL!


Regards,
Nadh
noryady
January 4, 2007   04:58 PM PST
 
1. Cukup melukai hati sendiri dan wanita lain...
SHAH=very good decision .. berkawan dengan sham boleh tapi mesti ada batasan... bolehkan kita melakukannya tanpa sedikit pun perasaan cinta? what about shah? not fair...i think it might take a long time...

2. No hard feeling..Staright Guys (SG) always greedy with love thats why he can manage 4 woman in their live.. boleh bagi kasih sayang seadilnya (or not)...so be fair with sham..memang nature dia dah macam tu..nak wat camno..

3. Just think perasaan Sham's wife .. Terasa seperti pedang yang tajam menusuk ke jantung ketika masih bernyawa dan tak mati2 pun...betapa pedih perasaan itu ketika mengetahui husband tersayang ada afair...harap Safi mengasihani Isteri Sham...

But anything up to Sofi.... dia lebih memahami perasaan sendiri...
alessandro
January 5, 2007   01:29 AM PST
 
there u go..my story..my real story..

all this while i thought it was only me..

but..the truth is..in the other part of this world..there is another people..who feel the same..who feel what i feel right now..

god bless us..with this complicated life..for us to be better n stronger!
Tepak Sireh
January 5, 2007   09:42 AM PST
 
i'm in dilemma.... i love 2 person at one time at the moment.... just cant leave both of them. am i too selfish? nope.... just that... "Even if aku bercinta dengan orang lain, perit it may seems, tapi, cintaku terhadapmu takkan hilang..."
blue_april
January 5, 2007   05:14 PM PST
 
sofi patut ended her relatioship with sham after she kno he will getting married..

cinta pd manusia x kekal..nwy jgn jadik hamba cinta sgt..
klu dah kawen still igt kat xgf/bf..dah x btul tu..
cam la xder org laen dlm dunia nih..:P
Lee @ Office
January 5, 2007   06:23 PM PST
 
Sedeynya cerita benar inniew **matilaa speku, kan?? :P

Well, to be honest, Sofi is doing the right decision to let go Sham completely out of her life for the sake of their own different way of lives. Shah is definitely the one since it's most probably he won't get married to a pompuan tulen (but then who knows..but hey, live for the moment, kan??)

AND Sham should have known it better; menduakan siteri sangatlah jahat..kesian kat bini.... kalau tak nak kawin, katakan sahaja TIDAK. Tengok Lady Diana & Charles, bercerai berai sebab cinta Charles pada Camilla terlalu meluap luap (not that i am comparing Sofi macam Camilla piula...Camilla tuh hodoh!).

Well, to be honest, as u ols pun tahu, mak pun berskandal ngan laki orang i.e Avang BUT we are still together ever since..dah sebelas tahun lebih dah pun. So, if you know he's the one, you just follow your heart, Sofi (whoever u r..heheheh)... Who knows in the future, Sofi & Sham will be back together in some miraculous circumstances... only time will tell but for the moment, SOFI should enjoy life and love with Shah.

Good luck Sofi! Everybody deserves a great loving and happy relationship
zestgemok
January 5, 2007   11:18 PM PST
 
aiyo why people blaming sofi for. Sofi was into Sham (mati la nama laki aku) before Sham even met Sara (i assume jer tau Lea). Kalau this is true, Sara la celah beds Sham, which bkn salah Sara sebab Sara tak tau. Sham yang salah and patut di tembak dgn senapang gajah (emo pulak). anyway if i were Sofi, i would have ended the relationship there and then tp knowing people like us, we tend to hold on to something we have, cam Sofi holding onto Sham walaupun tau Sham nak kawin and kawin. and mind you, Sofi bkn bersalah sebab berskandal dgn laki orang sebab she's the first, Sara the second (assumption again)

and the answers
1. Yes its the best decision because everyone needs to move on. matila dwelling on the past buat apa. I dont know if Sofi really digs Shah or just a filler for the vacuum left by Sham tapi its better than seeing makhluk perosak cam Sham tu. Dah kawin masih nak main dgn pondan, dasar anjing tamak.

2. No, sham can go to hell with fairness. kalau betul2 dia sayang Sofi, this incident should never have took place. Heck you can always delayed your marriage until your parents are dead! Mati la guna alasan Ibu padahal konek nak main puki

3. Sofi tak salah, Sham salah. Tangan takleh bunyi kalau bertepuk sebelah, lain la ko tepuk meja kan.

matila emo.
ChefAduka
January 6, 2007   06:07 PM PST
 
ERMMMMMMMMMMMM.......pasal drama2 sedih...mmg best utk ditonton...sebab menyentuh jiwa.....contohnya...Berlari ke langit.....toching kan?!!!!!Tapi adalah akan terjadi lagi kisah tragedi cinta dalam diri LKY???Nantikan lah tanyangan perdana nanti....Filem dalam proses pembikinan.....hehehehe Jgn marah LKY........kita hanya merancang,tuhan yg tentukan...tak gitu????
Jati
January 18, 2007   12:03 PM PST
 
For Sham, Sara, Lea eh salah! S...o...f...i...and Shah, a perfect phrase to describe gejolak dalam hati masing2, "Haruskah sesulit ini mencintaimu"?








1. You need a mirror to see yourself and it will reflect an image to whom you’re drawn to. And it tells more stories once you found your own desire. Understand what comes through the image and use it as a greater reminder.


2. Are you being fair to others and yourself? Soalan ini ditujukan pada Sofi yeaaa (kononnya)…silakan jawab. Is Shah; the answer to your prayer? Dari firasat Jati, Shah stands as a replacement with a bloody good comparison to Sham. Again Lea, is he the answer to your prayer? Eh…Lea lagi. lalalala


3. Cinta adalah suatu ketakutan, dan ketakutan itu membuatkan kita tidak mahu dilukai dan melukai. You have to search for your true love with passion, energy, sincerity until you learn that you do not need to search anymore. Love is not about conquering other feeling but yourself. Either we bow to love or love bow to us. Being a lover, there’s nothing worse than to walk along his journey without his beloved.


honeydew
January 19, 2007   11:24 PM PST
 
im from CARI...nice 2 know ur blog....

suke citer nihhh...

very nice n touching...
izor
February 1, 2007   09:54 AM PST
 
tengah berlaku pada akak. dia kena kahwin so he said tapi dia tak nak lepas akak. ...... masalahnya dah lebih 10 tahun kami bersama... boleh ke akak hidup tanpa dia lepas tu...



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