My owh my... disastrous pageant of the century? Wouldn't that be a bit too much for me to say? Well, believe me nonoqs,... it deserves MORE than that. Trust me! Tu pun, kire baik hati la jugak mek cakap "Disastrous pageant of the century", somewhat like a title la jugak kirenye. Buat nye kalau aku carut separuh nyawa, how!?

Owh well - lets not start caruting dalam the first few paragraphs, just YET - there's more to come lepas nih. Right, before we move on pasal citer Miss Malaysia Pageant 2006, biar mek citer on my part dulu - mek sangat menantikan hari Miss Malaysia tiba sundel! Apart from me dijemput jadi one of the juries utk the contest yang mek dah pernah menang the title, I was like - haiyoh, seronok lah! Looked forward for this event like since the day mek dapat tau pageant nih akan berlangsung. Apatah lagik, like, in 2004, mek dah menang. Then, 2005, mek crownkan Ayang, who was my runner-up in 2004. And then, 2 years later, 2006? Ayang crownkan sapa tatau? It was like, "A Moment Like This" la kirenye. All the waiting, dieting (opps) and what not - girangnye!

It was on Friday baru lepas nih, September 8th, 2006. Arrived from AOR pagi tu by flight. Volks picked me up kat LCCT (May Hani Mohsin rest in peace - Al-Fatihah. E eh? Motif?) Anyways, lepas dah settled some family matters and what not, did some last minute shopping, manicure and what not - terus gi siap² for the event. As usual, for pageants, events, I prefer not to do my own make up, unless for shows ke ape ke kan? Nak jugak arrive in style, ek? Kekekeke. Anyways, I arrived, LATE katanya - hehehe. Ini disebabkan kesesakkan lalulintas yang maha dasyat yer! Sangat² (mati la M.A katanya yer? Hahaha!). Mujur Volks managed to curik jalan sana curik jalan sinik, masuk jalan sana masuk jalan sinik katanya yer? Kekekeke. And where were we from? Owh yes - dari kediaman rasmi Kak Lara Glitters.Com. Yes, she was the one yang siapkan mek head to toe (mati la bersiap mengalahkan contestants bagai, kan? HAHAHAH) Dubdabdubdab jantung mek waktu dalam perjalanan sebelum tiba ke hotel katanya. Organizer, mind you - Mama Roza, said it was supposed to start by 8.30pm, SHARP yer. Tapi, ado? Nan ado katanya - by the time mek nih yang sampai by 8.30pm pon, juries pun BELUM di beri briefing yer... Friends like NoryAdy, X10 and wife, my cousin and her bf and few of her other friends (yang occupied 9 out of 10 seats in 1 table) pun dosi kesampaian. Hehehe...

So by the time mek sampai, mek bergegas pi dulu ke changing room contestants. Meriah! (One thing good this time, katanya changing room, besau la jugak. They managed to get the conference room yang hujung tu, yang besau tu. Normally, kalau ade pageants kat that hotel, selalu la dapat bilik changing room yang kecik sikit tu. But this time, ok la - luas. Comfy enuff for the contestants dan make up artists memasing). Jumpa la jugak kawan² lama, mak² hayams, and all. Girang! I on the other hand, was a bit nervous la jugak, dengan penampilan diri dan kerana terlewat, kan? Hiks! So lepas settled some hals dalam contestants changing room, mek pun menuju la ke ballroom. (KATANYA ade lounge for juries to have their dinner first before diarak masuk ke hall - ado? NAN ADO pon? Juries semua had to makan dulu kat dalam ballroom, then KELUAR balik, tunggu kat main entrance ballroom. MOTIF!?!?!?! Propah ley?) Tarkir lah. Bukannye mek makan pon! (mati la lepas tu mek lapaq, kan?) Hahah - while sitting kat meja VIP tu, belakang meja mek tu, was meja Ginger and Miss Brunei IQP, and IQP2006 winner herself, and some other friends. Ballroom was meriah also; not speaking in terms of deco lah. Was talking about keramaian menusia... hiks!

So lepas makan² bagai, yes, kami dijemput KELUAR dari Ballroom dan bertenggek tunggu kat luar ballroom, sebelum kami dijemput kembali  masuk ke Ballroom, one by one katanya. Tah pa per jer! Tak kisah also la kan...

Siapa lagi jadi juries tatau? 1st, mek - ex Miss Malaysia 2004, then there's Fiza, ex Miss Malaysia Patite 1998; then Dila, Malaysia's Most Beautiful 2005 (or is it 2004? 2005 rasenye - or 2006? Mati la mek tatau!), then ado Intan sape ek? Yang one of the top models in Malaysia tu - then ade this Puan Sri sape tah (Hurmmmm - should I caruts now? Or should mek save it for later²? Save it la kan? Hehehe) - and then ade sapa tah, pompuan sapa tah, katanya Penolong Ketua Puteri UMNO Selangor? (Or is it KL? Mati la tatau also!). So tak per lah - sebelum masuk hall again tu, kaedahnye, BARU ade briefing kat depan pintu hall tu. Briefing oleh ketua jury (MIND YOU - KETUA JURY bukan mek yer, like some dosi speku yer. Ketua juri was that tu lah, si Penolong Ketua Puteri UMNO itiew - yang like, NAN ADO PA PE EXPERIENCE dalam jadik jury let alone about PAGEANTS!) Asik lah blur, itu tak sure ini tak sure - habis ko jadik ketua jury, motif ko pun tak sure? Owhhh right - Organizer briefed kau ala kadar ek? (mati la tone mencaruts dah mula nak menjadik!). Anyways, dah la briefed lain dari ape organizer briefed mek dalam phone siang tadi tu, dah tu - KERTAS pemarkahan, BOLE? Pen/hand written, garis pun tak betul straightnye. HELLO!? Apakah ini!? Main pageant olok² ke?!!?!?!? Tak kisah la jugak kot - sebab, yer lah, yang pentingnye, markah, KAN? (Dan yer, tak penting jugak la kot, about how organizer cakap pelakon Farid Kamil akan jadik juri also? ADO? NAN ADO - TAK KISAH also...!)

So ok - event bermula, makan dah terhidang bagai - organizer himself (ke, herself? Matila PAPA Rozza instead of MAMA Rozza ek?) yang jadik MC. Katanya dalam phone, akan dibantu oleh someone. Mana tatau that someone? That someone tu, dalam invisible mode, kah? So tak kisah lah kan (tak kisah jugakkk katanya...). By 8.45pm or was it nearly 9pm, event bermula by calling in juries masuk kembali ke ballroom, one by one. KATANYA RED CARPET entry catwalk bagai - apa yang redcarpetnye tatau??? Owh yeah - mek lupa. THE CARPET dalam ballroom tu dah SEMEMANGNYE RED, KAN!?!?!?

Jadi mek pong mengambil seat mek, diikuti oleh si Fiza next to me, then Dila, then Intan, paihtu Yang Amat Berbahagia Puan Sri apa nama tah... then the apa nama tah Penolong Ketua Puteri Umno itiew, as HEAD JURY! (Owh, konfermasi oleh Volksie, it was TIMBALAN Ketua Puteri UMNO... hiks! Timbalan, Penolong - sama jer, kan? Hiks!). So lepas mengambil seat memasing, semuanya dah ready, and so - bermulalah pencarian that one lucky person yang akan bear the crown, title, and honor of becoming the 3rd Miss Malaysia PLU (persis laungan MC cum Organizer dalam that tone yang kejist dengan mic/ sound system yang HAZABIATUL!)

1st round was, the State Traditional Wear round. Total of 16 contestants berentap for this year's place of becoming Miss Malaysia 2006. Diaorang keluaq ikut susunan apa, mek tatau. Tapi kaedahnye, diaorang keluaq sebegini...

1. Miss Perlis
2. Miss Kedah
3. Miss Perak
4. Miss Penang
5. Miss Wilayah Persekutuan Kuala Lumpur
6. Miss Selangor
7. Miss Negeri Sembilan
8. Miss Melaka
9. Miss Johor
10. Miss Wilayah Perseketuan Putrajaya
11. Miss Pahang
12. Miss Terengganu
13. Miss Kelantan
14. Miss Wilayah Persekutuan Labuan
15. Miss Sarawak
16. Miss Sabah

Waktu nih - diaorang akan keluar dan memberi sedikit introduction la kirenye. Dan waktu nih la jugak, juries dah sebok pening kepala... "NAK KENA JUDGE APA NIH!?" Boleh? Time tu? It was like... haiyoh! Rugi la rugi mek tak amek balik marking sheet mek tu! Leh scan jer! Nih nak explain balik, susah. Ok. Sat - how ek nak make this easier? Susahnye lahai nak menaip. Isk!

Ok - juries telah diberi 2 pieces of paper katanya. 1st was a marking sheet utk determined subsidiary titles dan what not la kirenye. 2nd piece of paper was actually score sheets yang menurut si Fiza tu, for top 8 NANTI bila masuk part Q/A. Tapi setahu mek, belek dok pi mai pi mai kat 2nd paper tu, it looked like its actually meant for utk determined who will be in the top 8. Kirenye, 1st scoresheet utk determined the subsidiary title winners, 2nd scoresheet utk determined the top 8, KAN? Tapi again, since mek tak dibriefed pa per pon, mek bedal jer la. And I was told to pilih siapa patut menang BEST HAIR-DO katanya (Awat!? Sebab mek punye hair-do over malam tu, so mek kena pilih best hair do ley? Hehehe! Tapi the point is, motif pakai pilih² cam tu jer? Ketua Jury cakap, Lea - u amek nih. Fiza, u amek award nih. Dila this, Intan that... KAN? Tapi alih², subsidiary titles, ado 4 sajork, HOW? Opps! Too soon to masuk to that part just yet! MOVE ON!...)

SO waktu intro round, and state traditional wear round tu, mek, personally, had my 'eyes on fav' to win the pageant already. Tapi kalau yang mek berkenan time round 1st tu, mau tau siapa? Mrasa...

• Miss Penang - not because dia represented the state yang mek represented 2 years ago nah! Hehehe - tapi she was an absolute stunner, minus the fact dia asik lah nak buat muka masam/ kekwat. Awat tatau? Kalau senyum lebey sket kan segak, tak gittu Ratna? Hiks!
• Miss KL - her state costume was to-die-for tau!!! Makan hati tgk head-gear dia liplapliplap dengan diamonds and what not! And the sari tu, aiyoiii!!! MAKAN HATI lah kau Sara!!!
• Miss Kelantan - talking about TAK CANTIK SANGAT tapi SWEET giler! Suara pun dinch la pech. lobs, kan? Sker lah - very, ala-kadar-ly NICE lah Cik Wani!!!
• Miss Terengganu - now she reminded me so much of Wan Khatijah, ex Dewi Remaja itiew... (Ok, mek dinch hui dia sapa, tapi mek tau nama stage dia tu Sharifah, kan?)
  
• Miss Sabah - tak perlu disangkalkan lagi. SANGAT cantik la itiew Adik!

Dan waktu tu mek sebok kasik markah semua column dan ruangan yang ado secepat mungkin - mek nengok si Fiza next to me tu kasik markah column yang dia akan pilih pemenangnye sajork. Motif? Mek tanya la dia - motif kasik column tu jer? Dia cakap, ketua juri cakap tak perlu isi semua ruangan. Isi part yang kite akan kasik pemenang sajork. HABIS tu, kalau tak isi semua, lagu mana nak tahu sapa pemenangnye!? Aiyoh! Depa dah mula confused! MEK SENTAP! Tapi TAK PER, biarkan dulu... I'm sure ade some logical explaination to this matter katanya erk... kekeke...

So dalam 1st round, bagi mek - mek nilai penampilan mereke bersesuaian dak dengan negeri yang diaorang represent tu, then accessories, head gear bagai, dan everything pasai penampilan depa utk negeri mereka. Then, baru mek judgekan catwalk memasing. Ado catwalk macam masuk Supermodel lah, ade catwalk pinggang patah lah, ade catwalk yang ala² Itikwalk pon, ado jugak - haii laa. Macam²! Tapi, yang penting waktu introductions diaorang, mek nengok confidensi level memasing, pertuturan, dan content introductions diaorang itiew. Merapek² kah, too serious ke ape ke - semua mek amek kire. Tapi yang paling penting, mek nak tgk sapa yang relaxed, comfy atas stage dan just be herself, kan? Tak perlu lah itiew grandmother story intro lines tapi asik lah tersangkut², kan? Hiks! But overall, semua introductions melerts. Tapi mek rasa, awat semua dok guna "Cintailah Malaysia, Cintailah Saya" - Organizer, itu ayat, WAJIB ado ke? Kalau wajib, awat tadak briefing pasal tu? Yer la - kot² la sapa² lupa includekan that ayat, kena potong markah ke ape ke, KAN!?

Habis 1st round, time depa pi salin utk round kedua, mrasalah mek sebok² touch up dan isap rokok dalam toilet (sebab malas nak tgk show sama katanya... hiks!), sempat lah mek borak² dengan Intan and Dila. YES - diaorang pun CONFUSED katanya dengan judging scheme. Cam ne tu!?!?!? Mek dah macam,... OK! So long as they (organizing committee) tak buat cilahanats, then I guess am ok with juries semua jadik blur, kan? Tak kisah la. Kami pun maybe sebab datang lambat ke ape ke - so briefing tak dibuat, tak leh salahkan satu pihak jer, ye ke dok? Kekeke...

So afterwards, mulalah round 2. Berkemban round (traditional swimwear round katanya...). Waktu berkemban nih, setahu mek, time nih ler nak nilai Miss Body Beautiful, Miss Best Legs (ade ke? Ade kan?), Best Berkemban Wear and what not, kan? Tapi juries masih blur, dan mek tak salahkan juries sebab we were ALL not briefed properly. YES, we were briefed by ketua jury yang nan ado pa per pengalaman pasai beauty pageants kan. TAPI, kitaorang tak di briefed by Mama Roza the organizer, OK! Haiyoh! Time tu mek tak pedulik. Yang mek tau, mek nye scoresheet HARUS lengkap - ALL MARKS mesti mek letakkan. Tak kire la column tu utk award yang bukan mek kena decide ke ape ke. Even if it's not my award to give/ choose the winner, still, depa (ketua jury) perlu scores juri² lain, kan? Tapi in this case, mek nengok ketua jury, rilekkk jer... ADE PA PER KE U OLS!? Opps!

Waktu swimwear/ berkemban round nih, mek nilai dari segi penampilan para contestant dalam pakaian berkemban. Mek nengok kesesuaian material yang depa guna, then mek nengok accessories ke ape ke - kalau sarat barat sangat, PERLU KE nak pi mandi kat sungai tetiber accessories belambak bagai, kan? Then rambut pun mek nilai dan yer, since mek ditugaskan pilih pemenang utk Best Hair-Do, mek kena la tgk sapa yang mek nak kasik award tu, kan? Kirenye cam nih - after all the scores dari semua juries dicampur (see, thats what I meant by semua juries kena kasik marks utk semua bahagian), ketua juri akan kasik 5 nama contestants with the highest points. But the winner, mek jer akan pilih since mek diberi tugas memilih pemenang Best Hari-Do. Korang paham tak? This is what yang mek paham setelah diberi briefing, dan Fiza pun understood cam tu. So kirenye kalau Perak, Perlis, Penang, KL and Sabah scored paling tinggi dalam kategory Best Hair-Do, kaedahnye, mek akan pilih dari 5 tu, sapa pilihan mek. Yes, call it tak adil, tapi THAT'S how diaorang nak kami buat. Tapi at the end of the day, ADO? NAN ADO pun award tu. Hilang pi mana tatau!? Dan yang penting - ketua jury yang pilih. KATANYA, "Semua JURY sebulat suara telah memilih"... well excuse me. Timbalan or no timbalan, who da fuck gave u the fucking rights to say "SEMUA JURY SEBULAT SUARA TELAH MEMILIH" tatau!?!?!?! I didn't! And I'm sure Fiza didn't choose some of the winners also, not to mention Dila and Intan. Eh wait, mek skipped banyak parts dah nih. Ok ok ok - REWIND! Hehehehe...

So anyways, dalam the berkemban round, mek nye favourite was Miss Penang and Miss Sabah, again - body dioarang, terang² lagi disuluh², berpinau mata mek nengoknye! Tapi the real contestant with the 'BERKEMBAN' concept was Terengganu! Sweet sangat dia, dan memang mengena citarasa mek dari segi BERKEMBAN. Ade sorang tu, mek tak hengat, siapakah tatau? Siap lari tema - noq, berkorset kain batik, dan berskirt ketat berkainkan batik, is not berkemban darling... hiks! (Mati la ade orang tu sms mek... "THAT'S NOT BERKEMBAN!" kan Ginger? Opps! Did I say the name? Opps!)

Lepas 2nd round tu, mek dok sebok lah pi ke toilet sebab corset buruk mek tu dok buat hal. Anjeng sangat! (motif tetiber lari citer? Hehehe)

Ok - next round was Evening Wear round. Aiyoh! Mati la mek lupa bawak sunglasses katanya. Berpinau² mata mek nengok dresses va va voom dan accessories meletop maha zast! Haiyoh!!! NANGIS! Memang nangis! Dan mek prasan, Miss KL dan Miss Sabah, wearing dress ala² design concept yang sama; berbeza warna tapi material dah dedekat nak sama. Dan I have to say, most of the dresses, mek sangat suka ok! Most of the girls dapat high scores from me dalam round evening dress. Mek nak narrow down my choices, kalau diambil kire hanya dari evening dress, MATI LA NO TOP 8 OK! Sebab semuanya vast! Except for a few, yang mek rase, dresses tidak lah perlu... (susah ditelan, I know - but susah lagi mek nak menyebutnye nih! So mek abaikan jer la ek)

Tapi my ultimate favorite dresses were:

• Miss Sabah
• Miss KL
• Miss Perak
• Miss Kelantan
• Miss Terengganu
• Miss Pahang
• Miss Selangor
• Miss Putrajaya

Actually, dari these 'ultimate favorite dresses' list, ade "MOST OF ALL" tau... erm, perlu ke mek sebot? Hehehe, well - ok...

• Miss Putrajaya
• Miss Terengganu
• Miss Kelantan

Noticed something? Ketiga² diaorg pakai MERAH! Hehehehe whats with me and red tatau? Hahaha!

So lepas pada itiew - haaa yes, BERMULA LA bahagian mek akan caruts banyak² dalam entry nih...


So ok - lepas dah habis all 3 rounds, memula, sebelum diaorang call up the top 8 semifinalists, they had to announce the subsidiary title winners. When I said THEY, they tu meaning us, JURIES. Kan setiap satu jury, kena concentrate on one subsidiary title winner, kan? Mek, seperti yang mek katakan tadi, kena pilih BEST HAIR-DO. Which turned out to be, NAN ADO. WTF!? Mana pi hilang title tu? Dan yang penting... ok la - nih jer yang ade malam tu...

Miss Congeniality (PLEASE SEBUT BEBETUL YER MISS TIMBALAN KETUA PUTERI UMNO! Tolong lah! Memalukan jer! The fuck with ur title when u said, "Kong Gi" - ko hengat apo, BUBUR KONG GI tu ke!?!? Hish! Malu beb malu!) - and sapa menang tatau? Miss KL kan? Tah mek tak ingat sebab busy laughing my way with Ayang (mati la kau Ayang, cakap kat mek jgn ketawa, tapi last², KAU yang ketawa, kan? Sunggoh binats sangat! HAHAHA!) Then, Miss apa tah lagi tah. Tapi Best dress dapat kat Miss Sarawak ke ape ke tah, kan? Seriously u ols - time tu, mek dosi kebauan ikan² u ols - like, HELLO!? We didn't pick these winners - and for definite reason, JURIES ke yang kena pilih Miss Congeniality!?!?!?!?!?!?! Bukan ke contestants kena pilih!?!?!

It's coming up to 4am... mek sambung esok pagi entry nih with part 2 dari office nah? And believe me, part 2 - NAN ADO anything nice; most of it CARUTANS! Enuff! Tak kuasa aku nak buat baik² sedangkan all yang diperlukan adalah carutans je semua to this event! HAZAB!

Nite² u ols - for now. Sambungan entry nih (Part 2), esok nah? (And when I said esok tu, technically it means LATER la. Heheheh...)