I was goin' through my blog archive, specifically tang part entries under the category during my flyin' years itiew. I must say - almost every entry mek write kan musti ade dapat sambutan; be it yang serious merious ke, or yang gila² lawak bodoh ke ape ke - whatever it was, tetap dapat sambutan. And since mek dosi lama tak tulis about anything regarding the airline and my experiences in 'em, mek rase, adalah lebih baik mek cuba kupaihkan something yang jarang org nak bangkitkan - issue kasik alasan from going for that particular flight - or kalau dah teruk siket, giving excuses why tak pergi langsung for the flight eventhough rostered for it. Hiks!

Life as a cabin crew, memang tak leh lari from giving EXCUSES. Hiks! One thing kita / kami cannot do is to give excuses to passengers. But on thing we CAN do is giving excuses kepada org office i.e Duty Officers or Fleet Admin! LOL!!! Cabin crew, agree dak ngan mek!?

No matter how baik and berdisplin u ols semua are/ were with the National Airline that feeds you every month katanya, kan, STILL, mesti ade gak kes KASIK EXCUSE kat duty² officers nih. And giving excuses nih selalunya la kan berlaku during Standby time / Duty Call Ups in which you ols were uncontactable; or giving excuses waktu reporting sick 6 hours before flight in which u ols bukannye demam or sakit betul pun, hence bukannye ade serial number of the medical cert. pong since you don't even have the mc in the first place pun!; or in worst case, kasik alasan WHY u ols MIA (Missing In Action) for a particular flight.

UNCONTACTABLE DURING STANDBY/ CALL UPS
Sebelum mek go into details of those excuses - mrasalah mek citer siket; APO bendo Standby nih??? Cam gini. Dalam sebulan, kita dosi dapat duty roster itiew, kan? Mrasalah in one duty roster, sekuwang² - eh, sekurang²nyo ado 4 days of Standby period of max 8 hours. If u're lucky, you won't get any standby period. Tapi MOST of the time, you do. Timenya selalu, (crew yang masih online, help me out here. Mek dosi lupa dah!) 8am to 4pm, 3pm to 11pm, 6pm to 2am, 3am to 11am and etc. Ade lagik kot time² slot wide body yang pelik², mek pong dah tak hengat sebab kalau ade standby period dalam my roster, awal² either mek swap mutual or pi request for flight awal². Senang.

So, kena buat ape during this standby period? Well - you're supposed to stay in at home, duduk elok² diam² sebelah phone tu, tunggu la office call ke idak, kot² nak kena gantikan crew memana yang MC ke, ape ke - kire replace crew lor. Paham kan? Tapi masalahnya, LARAT ke nak duduk umah 8 jam sundal and do nothing!? Mrasalah my first two years jer mek rajin duduk baik² diam² kat umah - lelepas tu, NAN ADO katanya. Kejap standby kat Subang Parade la, kejap kat Pyramid lah, kejap kat umah kawan lah, kejap kat situ kejap kat sini - by the time mek dosi bergelar senior, DAH BERSTANDBY KAT MIDVALLEY katanya! Hanjeng sangat.

At first dioarang (the office people lor) require you to submit ur fixed-line house number - tapi lepas tu mek tukaq pi mobile phone, sebab semua orang dok tukaq - so mrasalah mek pon tukaq. Larat laaa nak duduk terperap 8 jam kat umah semata² standby guna house phone. Sama gak - kasik jer mobile number, nah - lagi senang. I can go anywhere and anytime during the standby period. DAN di situ lah crew mula buat jahat katanya! Dan diberi kebebasan guna mobile phone, MRASALAH OFF HP katanya kalau office call! (NOW u know where I got the idea of alwayyyyss off hp bile DQ, kan!? HAHAHA mrasalah kalau tgk kat phone tu... "Office1" or "Office2" or "Office3" numbers keluar, TERUS DQ NIH! Off HP TERUS! Hahahahah!) Dan di situ lah crew mula kasik excuses bile UNCONTACTATBLE DURING STANDBY CALL UPS...

Crew nih semua kuat propah tau bile kasik excuse kalau ditangkap uncontactable during standby/ call ups! Hanjs tau! Dengan² mek pong terpedaya. (Hahahaha! Mek JARANG tau tapi ade lah once or twice, tapi terlepas also dari hukuman berat katanya! LOL!) Antara 3 propahan kuat dari crew² nih would be...

1. HP on silent mode - dinch kedengaran katanya - Hanjeng sangat alasan nih tau! Dah tau standby period, lagi mau silent! Dah la tu, kalau 4 hari uncontactable, aiyoh - meaning, 4 hari lah silent hp!? HAHAHAH well mati la mek - at least dia silent, dan mek, OFF TERUS? How? LOL!
2. "Tah la! My HP tu gila tau! Asal nak jawab call jer, dia off. Asal nak jawab jer, OFF. I pun tensi!" - Hahahahah! Whatttt la Grandmother story mek kasik. Tapi mujur the Duty Officer/ Fleet Admin mek percayakan mek. So mek just tulis explaination letter sajork. Ini sajork alasan yang mek pernah kasik. Sebab waktu tu mek standby kat Midvalley katanya - CONFIRM tak sempat sundal kalau nak balik Subang and get ready for last minute call up.
3. Tertidur mampos! So tak prasan ade call masuk pon - Ini mek ade dgr gak crew guna alasan nih. Tidur mati katanya, langsung tak dgr pa per. Mati la mati la dia! kalau umah dia terbakar ke ape ke - TU PUN TAK SEDAR KOT? Alasan nih mampu dibeli duty office tu kalau ur standby time waktu pepagi butos tu. Memang time² tu kalau standby, alahai - sodapnyo tidoq! Thus, MALAS nye nak jawab phone time² itiew, KAN!?

REPORTING SICK
Moving on to the next subject - REPORTING SICK when you're not sick... actually! LOL! Crew kalau nak tau (some of them) cukup terra nihhh berlakon dalam phone nih waktu doin' this act! Antaranya, heheheh - yang dok berbloggin' nih lah! LOL! Kadang kala nya tu memang sick, tapi most of the time - tak sick pon direportnya sick for certain sickening flights.

ANTARANYA, MADRAS flight! Haiyoh! Itu FWMC! (Flight Wajib MC!) LOL! Donno la now, how la keadaan MAA (Madras) flights, tapi waktu mek dok fly dulu, hish! MELUAT aku tau buat flight tu! TENSI! Dah la allowance siket cinonet, flightnye pulak - mak aihhh! SEEDDDEEHHH!!! So banyak lah crew yang akan meng'sakit'kan diri mereks for the flight. And usually, SOP (Standard Operating Procedures) menyatakan bahawasanya, nak report sick, minimum 6 hours before reporting time. EH, was it 6 hours before pick up time? Hmmmm - again! Crew members yang masih online in the airline, dan sedang membaca blog entry nih - HELP ME OUT! 6 hours before reporting or 6 hours before pick up time ek? Hehehehe mek kertu dos. LUPO!

So anyways, kalau mek dah rostered for the flight, ie. contohnya, MAA flight, dan mek FEELING² MALAS nak gi flight itiew, and it's like more than 6 hours before, mrasalah mek report sick sajork. Kalau mampu go and get MC, mek senang citer lah. Ini kes mek dinch dapat MC tapi getek pi report sick - mrasalah bohong sunat katanya! HAHAHA. Here, in this issue, theres not so much of excuses nak kasik pon, except...

"Ahuk ahuk (BATUK TU! Dan suara a bit sengau kekonon selsema dan batuk katanya - DEMAM! LOL!), Encik... My name is (so and so la kan) and I call nak report sick for flight... Ahuk ahuk!" Cam gitu ke bunyinye batuk? AHUK AHUK? Ape ape jer la - janji msg delivered. LOL! And so bermula la lakonan mantap!

Ahaaaa actually, kes reporting sick nih (which is VERY famous among crew members) - the only time nak kena EXPLAIN and give EXCUSES, waktu u ols dinch dapat MC but still tak mampu nak go for flight, kan? Mrasalah kalau sakit sunggoh, takkan la doctor tu buta peghot tak kasik mc kot, KAN? Nih kes tak sakit tapi NAK sangat sakit - ha - mrasalah merapat sembah menjunjung kasih bila dipanggil ke office and kasik explain why tak submit MC. Antara top 3 alasan²nya, ialah...

1. I lost my MC - duh!? Nih selalu la sangat bila dah sah² nan ado Medical cert, NAK HILANG APONYO!? Kalau u're conviencing enuff, they'll buy it. If not, jengjejeng! MRASA!
2. Er... ade ke lagi 2 alasans? HAHAHAHAHA Mek rasa alasan number 1 tu jer la yang will always be the only alasan for not having the MC! Sebab it's either you have the MC, or u don't. Tu jer. And kalau don't have, HILANG jer lah alasannye, KAN!?

MISSING IN ACTION FOR FLIGHT
Dan point diskusi terakhir kita hari ni - MIA for flight - which mek NEVER la in recorded working history pernah buat MIA for flights nih. Eeeee... simpang la! It's like, the mother of all anjengs bak kata Mirch! (MoaA - eh, was it MoA, Mother of Anjeng? Hmmmm). Pun begitu yer Tuan² dan Puan², ADO gak crew yang MIA for flights, and later, terus MIA from the airline. Blah cam gitu jer. Tapi those yang hanya MIA for flights, selalunye ade lah reason² munasabah jugak. MIA for flights nih, cam ni. Dia dah rostered for a particular flight, tapi show up nyo, NAN ADO katanya! EH WAIT, MEK PERNAH LAH! Sekali!

Mek ingat lagik! Time tu dengan arwah kawan mek, Edan, Kiefancy, and some others bebudak KJ. Girls, REMEMBER, 1st December, 2003 girls? I was supposed to go to OSAKA, remember? And where were we time tu!? We were at BANGSAR TELAWI mamaks, in drag, REMEMBER? LOL!

Kesahnya cam ginik. Purely it wasn't my fault, although nampaknya memang lah salah mek tapi salah nye adelah mek overlooked my duty roster. Cam giniii... I was rostered for MH brapa tah to Osaka, 1st December, 2003. Reporting time was 0010hrs Dec 1, 2003. Meaning, my pick up was? CORRECTO DE BINGGO! Pick up mek was some malam NOVEMBER 30th, which mek overlooked. MEK INGATKAN my reporting time was Dec. 1st, at 12.10am. Still tak paham? Betul lah... 12.10am on the 1st Dec. MEK INGAT 1st December MIDNIGHT tu was my flight - meaning pick up 1st December and flight was 2nd December. Bertekak lite² manja nih dengan duty officer nih when he called me up and tanya why am I not at the airport... cam gini la antara detik² hitam berkomunikasik dengan duty officer via my mobile phone tu...

Handphone berbunyi - kuarkan dari handbag, tgk² "OFFICE1"... Tak der lah mek nak OFF hp bagai sebab mek confidensi mek tak buat pa per salah or on standby ke ape ke, kan? So slumberocknye mek jawab jer la...

"E eh? Motif DO calling² mek!? Cancel flight ke esok? Hehehehe... Hello?"

"FS XXX?"

"Yer saye..."

"Where are u?"

Sambil gelak lite² nih, mek jawab la... "Adeeee la... kenape Encik?"

"Ade lah tu kat mana? At home?"

"Tak ah - Bangsar... why ek?"

Dia on silent mode for like couple of secs before sambung bercakap with a sigh...

"Why aren't you at the airport?"

"For what?" Menjawab lagi nih - TAK SEDARKAN DIRI LAGI NIH ADE FLIGHT! LOL!

"You have a flight MH XX to Osaka which leaves in 1 1/2 hours from now..."

"Eh - silap kot Encik. My flight esok la Encik, I mean, tonight, midnight, December 1st..."

"Nope..."

"What do you mean NOPE? Encik - my roster is in the car - I can double check if you want..."

"Ok go check..."

"Baik lah - hang on..." sambil catwalk menuju ke kerets mek yang diparkir dinch la jauh sangat dari scene tapi sempat la catwalk S katanya! HAHAHA... masuk² kerete, bukak cari copied roster bagai (I always keep a copy in the car) - NAH! Betul lah! BETUL LAH DUTY OFFICER TU YANG SALAH!

"Seee! Encik! My reporting is later tonight, December 1st. Midnight..."

"XXX, check bebetul. Your reporting is at... 12.10am - December 1st. MEANING its now, cik adik oi - IT'S DECEMBER 1st, 2003 - and it's now 12.30am!"

NAHHHHH ENGKAU!!! TERDUDUK MEK KAT SITU! TERKEMPOT! TERNANGIS TANG TANG TU JUGAK NIH! (sempat check cermin - smudge dak make up mata mek? AHAKS!) - AIYOH!!! MEK OVERLOOKED SUNDALLLLLL!!!!!!!

Dalam kecuakkan mek menangis bagai - I think the Duty Officer pon sebak dgr mek nangis sebab mek MIA flight dan MASIH BERADA DI BANGSAR katanya! Dia yang dari mula tak der lah tune tone marah - cuma tegas, dan akhirnya, cair nih lepas dgr mek dok kata mek tak prasan mek tak prasan la semua tu, terus kasik idea... (TAK SURE LAH D.O tu ade lagi ke idak but if he is, sapa dapat senasib dngn mek, mek tak gerenti dia will do the same to u ols...)

"Cam nih la XXX... apa kata I letak you reported sick last minute. Go to any clinic, get an mc, and call me back. Pronto. Call ME and only inform ME. Ok?"

"Really?" terus kuar suara manja nih sebab suara dia pong tasty gaks! Eventhough mek tak kenal pong dia sapa time tu, tau nama jer...

"Yer - really. Better do so before I change my mind?"

HA! Engkau! Dalam drag² tu mek pi Clinic Bangsar kat Jalan Telawi brapa tah - mek mintak MC. Mek mintak doctor India tu tulis MC utk mek, mek tak leh keje. So dia pon blur² stim kot tgk mek - terus blur tulis jer mc tu, atas nama jantan mek, dan dinch mampu GO FOR WORK - tak pulak specificnya dia tulis go for flight ke or work with MH ke ape ke, kan? HAHAHAHAHA! Pastu dia ada tanya - "what and where you work?" LEPAS dia dah tulis MC tu. Dengan kekwatnya mek amik MC tu, mek cakap... "I SHOWGIRL - I cannot la dancing tonight! HEHEHE" dan terus catwalk S! LOL!

So lepas tu - mek called D.O tu balik and submit MC number. And then tup² 2 minggu lepas tu, mek TETAP kena called up dengan office sebab LAST MINUTE MC. Well - better LAST MINUTE MC dari MIA, kan!? So lepas explaining to my fleet admin WHY mek terpaksa last minute MC (mek cakap hidung mek tetiber berdarah banyak nih dan sebab mek PANAS di dalam badan - tu yang last minute kena gak MC tu), mek catwalk² la ke office duty officer itiew, carik that particular D.O tu. Nampak² dia ingatkan nak say Thanks - tapi mek catwalk S dan U turn katanya sebab NAN ADO CANDO nye! HAHAH! HEY! What do you think I am? A heartless bitch!? Of course I didn't do that. Mek tetap lah pi gak kat dia dan cakap slow² saying THANKS for the help tu. Dia baik jer. Dan YER, memang - Suara dia sajork yang melerts! (which proves my experiments which states kalau dalam phone suara cando, BELOM TENTU ruponyo pong cando! So AWAS yer bila berphonesex! Opps! Motif lari tema!? HAHA)

Dan mek ade terserempak dengan dia banyak kali lepas² tu - dan  each time kami bertembung, mesti dua dua senyum, ingatkan kes mek nangis dalam phone gara² MIA for flight. And in deed dia memang baik. Lepas² tu kalau ade standby ke ape ke, dia akan personally call mek (kalau dia keje time mek standby tu la kan) or kalau mek rajin, mek akan call direct cari dia request for flights ke ape ke (provided dia keje la kan! HAHA) - nak la tunjuk yang kes Osaka flight mek MIA tu, truly mek tak plan pong and that mek memang crew baik. AICEHHHHH! Hehehehe - dan mek memang baik dengan dia sampai mek habis contract and left the airline, now tatau la dia keje lagi ke idak. Hmmmmmm... motif feeling!?

So itu lah dia - dunia crew, specifically mine, yang went through giving excuses yang ngong during standby period/ duty call ups, panglaman mek mereportkan diri as sick sedangkan dinch la sick pong, dan kesah MIA mek (well - would it still be called MIA ah? No kan? ALMOST MIA for a flight - hehehehe!)! Haiii - teringat balik kes MIA Osaka flight tu, heheeh - nak tergelak pong ado. DQ laaaaa DQ. HAHAHAHA...

DISCLAIMER: Entry nih bukan gambaran sebenar kesemua crew MH dan in particular, bukan la utk memburukskan MH. This entry nih, adalah hasil experiences mek sewaktu flying dulu. DAN, entry nih bukan nak mengajaq online crew members or Future-To-Be crew members to menipu and giving excuses tau. Sendiri mau ingat! Kalau dah ikut excuses di ataih nih, and kalau tak menjadi, dan hang kena, MRASA LAH TANGGUNG SENDIRI! Mek dosi buat disclaimers bagais nih! BUKAN SALAH MEK - MEK EX crew sajork! Hahahahah! Lariiiiiiiii semunyik belakang Joliekins hubby yang ex LS itiew - MELERTS! Hahahahah lari la lariii!!!



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