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Saturday, March 04, 2006

Your best friend = Your ex lover?


*Dang! Where's my lighter!? Can't start writing without my ciggies! ISH!*

*Few minutes later... ah yes! Found it! -Lights my ciggie- Ahhh yes, NOW I can write! Hehehe... but whats with another LOVE based entry nih????????*

Normally in reality, when certain couples failed to continue their relationships, (for whatever reasons la kan) their 'relationship' as from one homosapien to another, ends there as well. It's like, how ek, like... erm, there's not even the tiniest room for them to include the term, friendship. For some, don't ahhh be surprised, to know that they don't want to get anything to do with the other party anymore. Like, "Hello? Do I know you?" kindda thingie - right?

But then again, there are some people  that can still communicate with their ex lovers, ex bfs or ex gfs, whatever you wanna call it la kan, like, friends. Some, I dare to say, they can even be best of friends. A wise friend of mine told me once... "I may not be able to be your greatest lover, but I can assure you that I'll be your greatest friend..." And in deed, t'was proven to be true... *wink wink*

Most of the time we hear that guys can easily be friends with their ex gf or lovers or whatever, compared to girls. Is it true? And is it true ahhh girls tend to get over-emotional about break-ups? (die lah me, Mother of all DQ-ness - says Ginger!) And is it true ahhh (keypochi stylo), they say, girls tend to erm, how do u say, in English, berdendam with their ex bfs? Grudges twrds their exs ek? Well - whatever it is, janji u ols paham what am trying to say. LOL!

This time around I feel like discussing about the issue of being friends with your ex lovers. Mrasa!!!

(Questions were taken from a local mag - and I've changed couple of qs to suit my blog. Hurmmm...)

1. Can you still be friends with you ex lover?

Well, honestly, I can, but it'll definitely gonna take some time la kot. Not immediately after the break-up, there and then leh terus becomes best of friends, can? Common, get real. I mean, especially me, granny of all DQness, at least I need, sebulan or two, to get comfy balik with the situation being around my ex, kan?

But then again, it also depends on the nature of the break-up, and HOW we break-up. If it's a nice and smooth break-up, you understand, me understand also - then its ok la kan. But lets say you break-up like World War 5, with acid fluids flying around here and there, aiyoh! I DOUBT we can still be friends. Boleh tu boleh, but I'll be holding my knife, and finding every right moment to stab him again! LOL!

2. Breaking-up; the worst scenario...

Hurmmmm... fighting and gettin' all upset and all emo before the break up? Aiyoh! That's the last thing I wanted my break-ups to be... humrmmmmmm... If that's the case, I doubt I would be ever in touch with him again...

3. Normally, would it be the guy or the girl that would go like all emo about the breakups?

I'd say... ermmm... if I'm the one, would it be a guy or a girl? LOL! But seriously, I think that girls would definitely be more emo compared to the guys yang plays 'cool' all the time...

4. How do you get along with your ex as friends?

Hrmmmmm... BASE ON EXPERIENCE *winks again* I'd have to say that it took me a while to actually be comfy and get along back with my ex bf as a friend. Although we ended the relationship, like, erm, nicely, but still - I had to getaway and be alone before I get the feel to erm, you know - face him as my friend. Alhamdulillah, now I can consider him as my BEST friend, although we started off as lovers... hehehehe...

5. You have a lover now, and still ur best friend is your ex lover. How do you convience your lover now not to feel jealous of you best friend?

Hehehehe I would tell him off, straight at his face - DEAL WITH IT! He's just my ex- like, you're my present, you're my future, he's just my "Once Upon A Time"... hehehe...

6. Would you introduce your new lover to your ex lover who so happens to be your best friend?

I would... regardless how both parties feels la kan. For me, better I introduce them and at least, kedepan² nanti should anything happens, at least I've done my part. Hehehe...

7. You ex lover has a problem - would you help him or her?

I would - duh? He is after all, my friend? Duh! What kindda q is that?

8. Between the guy or the girl - who can easily be friends with their exs?

Errrrr - isn't this the same q as q number 3? More or less la kot. I'd say the guys would be easier to make friends with their exs... kan?

9. Your ex stills 'bermanja² mengharap²' with you - how do you deal with it?

Hmmmmm... there's nothing wrong bermanja² even lepas break-up. But mengharap² tu I'd have to say, jgn push them away quickly. That way, you may kecikkan hati the other party. Slowly but surely, time will heal everything and it's just before time dia akan meet someone else and stops mengharap. Eh, YER KE!? CHOY la me kena with Bell my Monday! LOL!

10. How long does it take for you to forget your ex, should you decide not to be friends with him/ her?

Hmmmm - DEPENDS... on what? On the case lah - I mean, if he does shit to me, obviously it's easier for me to get rid of him, erase him from my mind. But if we ended it 'ok'-ly, but still don't feel like being friends, it might take a while before I can manage to forget about it. I may take A LONG TIME if I don't meet up with anyone new...

Anyone nak comment? MRASA!!! Hehehehe... *winks winks winks! Mati lah 3 kali winks kat org yang sama - opps!



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Posted at 8:55:39 pm by Nurlea Laurielle Lai Lee Abdullah

5thE
March 4, 2006   10:52 PM PST
 
mak dok main dgn THE FART BUTTON la pulak kenn?? PRESS IT... YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.... WAKAKAKA... mak no komen..sebab mak nak main dgn F.B *mati la fiebie dan broadcastkan dalam YM CONF... HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH... hiks..mak again no koemn sebab mak tak penah in relationship... tapi mak selalu jadi pemerhati... so mak rase tak salah, tapi soklan mak... kalau tetibe TERTIDO sesama howw?? apa hukumnya Ustazah Imah??? *perluke tanya Ustazah Imah??? *mati la mak
Nurlea Laurielle
March 5, 2006   12:34 AM PST
 
Motif the FART button???
Ku Mac
March 9, 2006   09:01 PM PST
 
As mature adults ex-lovers are free to define and re-define their friendship as often and they see fit. Yes, ex-lovers can become best friends (your equation Your best friend = Your ex lover?) and they can become lovers again too.

I think it depends on how amicable their split was. If the relationship became really bitter and the break-up was nasty in any way, then I would say no. It would bring back too many painful memories.

If the couple has too many unresolved issues between them, then it's no again, unless they find some way to work on the problems that still lie between them. Breaking up because you can't stand each other isn't a good indicator for future friendship.

If you are talking about relationships that ended on good terms for mutually agreed reasons, then that couple has a good chance of remaining friends I think. IMHO this is the only circumstance under which ex-lovers can remain friends.
Nurlea Laurielle
March 9, 2006   09:57 PM PST
 
Thanks u ols for the comment



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