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Sunday, January 22, 2006

Memoirs of a "A-Go-Go" Boy...


It was 29 years ago, that I was born to a lovely couple; namely Selamat Haji Kadir and Maryam Sinok. They were no rich, or from a well-to-do family; just a normal couple who were in love despite having to go through a lot of problems just to be together. Reason being, my mom wasn't a Malaysian; specifically, she was a Siamese. And technically, my dad wasn't accepted by my mom's family just because he was of a different race and nationality. But sworn to the oath of Love, and willingness to be together through thick and thin, through sadness and pain, through tears and laughter, for better or for worse, they eloped just to be together and lived away from friends and family, somewhere in the borderline of Kelantan and Thailand.

There, they lived happily together, raised me up and soon, all of my other eight siblings were brought up in a family where we believed that life isn't always about acceptance; it isn't always about being happy all they time – It is about surviving and going through what comes in the days afterwards with open hearts and open mind. My dad was just a farmer back then, and my mom, lets just say she enjoyed being around with her children at home, doing her daily housewife work. Me on the other hand, I was determined to grow up and soon take the responsibilities of my dad taking care of this family. He wasn't getting younger everyday, I thought to myself. And so was my mother. And I was pretty much determined that I want to help this family of mine to survive the world where we have no other families or relatives to depend on.

Life is short, they always say. But I would have never guessed that it would be a short one for my dad. He passed away when I was 18, after having a heart attack. Devastated and heart-broken, I went out to seek for my relatives for some help. But I was more disappointed to know that I've failed to trace any members of my late father's family members. And I thought to myself, even if I managed to find them, what would I say? What would I tell them? I'm Hafizz, Selamat's 1st son, the son from his marriage to Maryam Sinok who has eloped with him? I couldn't do it, although I was determined that I could, but I knew I couldn't.

And that's when I came to realize that it was now all up to me to take care of this family. But I couldn't go to Kota Bharu and find work there – I don't have proper identification papers or even, proper schooling and academic qualifications? How was that possible to help me to find a decent job? After thinking hard for couple of days, I've come to a decision – I will go to Bangkok. And with a small savings I've made, and with the help of some local friends of mine, I made my way to the city of Bangkok, in 1995. It was hard to leave my family behind, especially my mom who was still in the state of shock, losing my dad, but I've made a promise to her that I will not let anyone in my family suffer and I will come back to take them with me to Bangkok. It won't be that soon, but I will not take forever to bring them with me.

The day I arrived in Bangkok, I met a friend of mine who lived just across my house back in the borderline. Don, who has been in Bangkok for a year already, showed me around town. And was so kind enough to let me stay with him. He was this small rented room, just nice for one occupancy. But he didn't mind to share with me…

"This is just temporarily. I'm sure you'll find your way soon, and have your own place to stay too," he said.

Within couple of days, I managed to find a decent job, a cleaner at a local non-halal restaurant. I didn't mind the non-halal part, anything goes so long as I get the money. It wasn't a time for me to think of halal or non-halal, as I was desperate to find money to save up and probably bring my mom and my other siblings to Bangkok.

Don on the other hand I see, doesn't work during the day. He leaves the room somewhere before 8pm, but returns home just before 6am the following morning. I was curious, but I didn't have to guts to ask him. I don't want to be disrespectful to the person who was helping me at that time by asking him personal questions.  

Days turned to weeks, turned to months, and soon, I've managed to save up some money, but it wasn't enough to bring all of my family members to Bangkok. I gazed outside the window one day, when Don came up to me and started a conversation which changed my whole life…

"Are you ok? You seemed a little bit stressed. Problems?"

"Don… it's been 3 months now. I'm still here in your room. Although I could afford my own room now, but I need that money to bring my family to Bangkok…"

"Am I complaining about you staying here in my room?"

"No, but I don't want to trouble you. You have helped me so much Don but I feel that I am not gaining anything, I am not helping my family or myself as for that matter…"

"Are you straight?"

"Excuse me?"

"I asked, are you straight?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course I am straight. Why, are you not?"

"I swing both ways. I just had to…"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you want to make fast money?"

"You know I would do anything for it. But what does it have got to do with the fact that I'm straight or not?"

"Pit, sit down. It's time for you to know something…"

Don called me Pit, a shorter name for Hafizz, and plus, it sounded more Thai, if you know what I mean. So then, Don told me everything, from A to Z. What has he been doing in Bangkok for the past one year? How did he earn his money? What does he have to do to earn that money? And etc.

"A Go Go Boys?" I asked him.

"Yes. It doesn't matter whether you're straight or not. You do want the money don't you?"

"But Don, I… I…"

"You what? You don't think you can ever have sex for the sake of the money?"

"No, it's not that. I don't mind having sex with ladies, but with men?"

"Do you want the money or not?"

"Don, you know I do…"

"Then come with me tonight. I'll take you to the place I'm working and I'll show you the real meaning of LIFE."

That night I followed Don to his work place. It was around 20 minute walk from the place we stayed. The area, better known as The Twilight Zone, was already busy by that time; busy with men, mostly Whites and Caucasians, not to mention, local boys and men too. I couldn't be bothered, but I can't stop noticing that almost everyone was like staring at me.

"Don't worry Pit. If anyone bothers you, just say you're with me…"

I was a bit shocked with Don's suggestion but didn't want to argue about it. I just nodded as he held my hands and brought me straight into his work place. It was like a club, with seats and stage and loud music, and above all, it was dark. All I could see was the disco light. He asked me to sit down by the corner and said,

"Wait here. I'll be back in a while"…

After a while, Don came back, but only wearing a tight short; no shoes, no shirts, just a very small, tight short. And he came back with this one guy, who seemed like the clubs' manager or something.

"Pit, this is Mr. Jirapath, the clubs' manager. Mr. Jirapath, this is my friend, Pit"

My guess was right. Don introduced me to the manager of the club that he was working at. And so I had this long talk with this manager, Mr. Jirapath and while we were talking, I managed to see Don 'performing' on stage.

Don with the rest of the boys, will parade up on the stage, showing off their bodies, bulges and smiled to everyone around them – clients if I may say so.

"Once a client chooses his (or her as for that matter) boy, the boy will then have to get down from the stage and will entertain the client. Normally it would be like THB300 per session there at the club (where THB150 will go to the boys' account). But if the client wants to bring the boy back, a minimum of THB1000 will be charged to the client (out of which, THB500 will go to the boys' account) and the rest, the client will have to pay directly to the boy. Somewhat like a tip or something. The boy may charge another THB500, depending – negotiable," explained Mr. Jirapath to me.

"If the client brings back the boy, what does the boy have to do?"

"Depends…"

"On?" I was very curious at that time...

"The client. He is paying you after all. Do as you're told, and you will get paid. If he's satisfied, you could be seeing him again and you might just be able to charge him more…"

"Pit, you are gifted with such a great body, with a very sweet Asian face, more like a Malay Man if you ask me. I'm sure there are lots of guests, or clients, who wouldn't paying you a fortune to be with you. Why don't you give it a shot?" said Mr. Jirapath, while his hands started holding my crotch between my two legs. I didn't know how to react. I just let it be.

"See… with this big toy of yours, I bet, you would be our number 1 boy in this club. Trust me…" very persuasive was Mr. Jirapath, and I fell for it.

*****************************
 
"It is now 10 years that I have involved myself in this A-Go-Go-Boys business. My family is here with me now. I have my mom; although not feeling well these days but still, she's surviving. I managed to send some of my siblings to school. I do not wish to have their life to be like mine; I want them to have things that I didn't have when I was back in their ages. I want them to have proper schooling, with academic qualifications…"

"Awwh Pit, I'm sorry I had to like ask you all these questions and what not…"

"It's ok. I don't mind sharing this story with you…"

"Still, I didn't know you came from this background. Your story touched me, and I'm so terribly sorry Pit for bringing this matter up…"

"No worries." He smiled; smiled that immaculate smile of his… And then he continued…

"10 years… 10 long years here in Bangkok – I've done all types of men, boys, not to forget, I do have female clients as well. That leads me to conclude that I am not gay, but more to a bisexual, just like Don – we swing both ways… I don't know how long will I go on living like this. Not that I enjoy the sex part that much, but it's the fact that I want the money…"

"And then, how come you're not charging me tonight?"

"With you it's different. The moment I saw you coming into the club, sitting there all alone, I knew I wanted to talk to you; I knew I wanted to be next to you, just watch you…"

"Awwhhh Pit, you're making me blush!"

"No seriously. That's why I couldn't keep my eyes away from you. Even up from the stage, I kept on looking at you. I ignored others although I have my regular clients around. But I've set my eyes on you… That's why I wanted you to wait for me until I finish my work, because I don't want the club to charge you or something…"

I went speechless again…

"Hey…" he said as he held up my chin and looked right into my eyes…

"Yes Pit?"

"I'm glad to have met you, regardless what you say about me not earning anything tonight. I'm very happy to share with you my side of the story, so that you know that not all A-Go-Go-Boys are gay. And not all of them are doing it for fun sake and because they want to. Some of them, like me, we just had to do it. And I want you to understand that."

"Why me? Why are you telling me all this Pit?"

"Because I like you, that's why…"

"Are you always this nice to all your clients?"

"Who says anything about you being my client?"…
 



Like my page? Vote for me at Malaysia Top Blogs, and at Blog Charts, and also, not to forget, at Malaysia Top Sites too!!! Thanks u ols!!! Your votes, and support, means a lot to me! Thanks again ya!





Posted at 2:11:30 pm by Nurlea Laurielle Lai Lee Abdullah

5thIek Puspa
January 22, 2006   02:43 PM PST
 
mek tak faham ayat ni:

-lets just say she enjoys being with a children

dan spelling error ini:

-It was hard to live my family behind,

tapi on the whole.. *sambil mengeluarkan tissue* mek terasa terharu u ols... penceritaan yang sangat baik, very detailed, siap memberi tip dan pengetahuan bagaimana nak deal dgn AGGB ni..hik hik.. tapi yang LAST SEKALI TU yang buat mek FLOATINGGGG... aiyohh... terus mek FEELING...hikhikhik.... org lain agree tak????
Nurlea Laurielle
January 22, 2006   02:48 PM PST
 
mek tak faham ayat ni:

-lets just say she enjoys being with a children

dan spelling error ini:

-It was hard to live my family behind,<<<--- EDITED - CORRECTED... :)
Amelia Contessa FB
January 22, 2006   04:53 PM PST
 
mak suka. emmm, tiba tiba kan keluar cerita ini selapas sebulan lebih balik dari bangkok. nak pancing undi golden blog award ke
ke?

kempot lah mak camni
Nurlea Laurielle
January 22, 2006   06:32 PM PST
 
Komen mek mengenai " emmm, tiba tiba kan keluar cerita ini selapas sebulan lebih balik dari bangkok. nak pancing undi golden blog award ke
ke?" <<-- Addinchhh u ols! Memang dosi lama dah mek nak buat entry nih tapi ingatkah u ols lepas update day 4 Bangkok mek cakap mek nak buat citer ni tapi mek nak tunggu balik BALI? mrasalah tak der kaitan dengan pancian undi tau. HEHEHEHE tapi kalau tercalon STORY OF THE YEAR pong mek suka! "HIDUP statement penutup entry nih --->"Who says anything about you being my client?"… MEK SUKE MEK SUKE!"
Lee Novotny
January 22, 2006   07:12 PM PST
 
The story really touched me, u ols..mak skerrr! Ermm Pitt tuh jadik boifren u ols ker?? **matilaa aku speku!

Sedeyy kan dgn nasib diorang..sometimes, tahts why I should be more thankful of what I got. At least dinch perlu selling body for money..it's a tough world
azrinazmazhar halkum
January 22, 2006   07:16 PM PST
 
lea... i can imagine you and pit, in the club, with the loud musics playing in the background, as you listened to his story... together with the ending... SYAHDU rasa hati... (tapi... i tak pernah lah experience mcm ni..)
Nurlea Laurielle
January 22, 2006   08:38 PM PST
 
komen mek:>--- "The story really touched me, u ols..mak skerrr! Ermm Pitt tuh jadik boifren u ols ker?? **matilaa aku speku!
Sedeyy kan dgn nasib diorang..sometimes, tahts why I should be more thankful of what I got. At least dinch perlu selling body for money..it's a tough world"

1. pit jadi bf mek ke? HEHEEH mrasalah hanya jadik bf mek di Bangkok sajork! LOL!
2. its a tough world out there - true, tapi about selling body tu kan, kesian kan? I mean - bukan pilihan mereka and sometimes diaorang TERPAKSA, kan?


Nurlea Laurielle @ Home
January 22, 2006   08:39 PM PST
 
azrinazmazhar halkum saod "lea... i can imagine you and pit, in the club, with the loud musics playing in the background, as you listened to his story... together with the ending... SYAHDU rasa hati... (tapi... i tak pernah lah experience mcm ni..)" U ols salah concept u ols. HEHEHEH dia story mek semua tu DALAM BILIK ATAS KATIL katanya - heheheh...
ava
January 22, 2006   10:33 PM PST
 
*sob sob sob* i ni memang mudah tersentuh bila baca citer2 flashback yang menyentuh jiwa dan perasaan macam ni... so aper citer dengan pitt sekarang? dia pernah datang KL tak? hehehe
Khyrel
January 23, 2006   12:00 AM PST
 
finally, i managed to understand your whole posting! god, i can assured myself back that u have a good sense of language and story telling skills.

just in case u wonder who on earth am i... i sent an email to u last time asking about you. remember still?

at first, i thought the story was about you... (confused juga because u have mentioned that your dad owns the travel agency). then i thought (when reading that ... in 1995) you wrote another inspiring story and finally, after reading the last part, i understood it was your true experience. what a very good writing skill u got! wish u can blog in english more often... (i am only weak at BM slangs! standard BM goes OK)

i am actualy starting a magazine project now and looking for inspiring writers and contributors for our magazine. if you are interested, please email me. thank u!

maaf jika agak panjang di sini. i think LL doesnt mind. dont know about his loyal readers. my apology!
clicky
January 23, 2006   01:56 AM PST
 
dia tuh professional...ini one free session to get u to come back so that he can charge u premium prices!
Nurlea Laurielle
January 23, 2006   02:06 AM PST
 
Dear Clicky... the chances that u might be right, its there. But u see, one has to actually experience what I went through ie. hearing pit telling the whole story to actually realize that he's not pullin' my leggy. Although he did eventually later that nite - OPPS! but thats another diffent case of leggy pulling. I saw it in his eyes the pain he had to go through to have a basic 3210 second hand hp... the pain of having to please people without his will only for the sake of money for him to help his mother and siblings... seriously, lets not judge too soon. just because he is a 'a go go boy', doesnt mean that he doesnt have the heart you see. think about it. I know i did when i looked at his face when he was telling me all these. true he could be a pro, but what kind of a pro would wanna let go of his regular and new rich clients for one nite just to spend the nite with me telling all these in hopes that i will return back to him for him to charge me premium price? that wouldn't be a pro, that would be a risk taker, which is still something we should look up to. but seriously, i dont think so. i believe what i see and hear and above all - i followed my heart as i hear him talk... :)
Nurlea Laurielle
January 23, 2006   02:06 AM PST
 
Khyrel, yeah I remember u. Thanks for the comment! :)

azrinazmazhar halkum
January 23, 2006   08:38 AM PST
 
atas katil?... ko dah NGAPP rupanyee lea... hehee.. still sedih.. but suka lah bab2 atas katil ni.. syg lea.. remember ur cornflake recipe hari tu?... aku dah cuba.. sedap lah.. ok lea.. gd luck wif the golden blog award.. i sokong sikit jer.. u termasuk lah..
DewiSandraSeroja
January 23, 2006   12:38 PM PST
 
It's like I'm reading a M&B. well, a PLU kind of version that is.. hiks!
Tepak Sireh
January 23, 2006   01:56 PM PST
 
As a whole, I like the storyline. It keep us reading and digging and thinking as well at once. Teringat plak 'terprojek' free dengan budak 'Dream Boys' kat Bangkok last year. Sebab dia suka kat aku ker???? atau sebab dia yang rasa puas-sepuas-puasnya......
babeparis
January 24, 2006   06:55 AM PST
 
lea, i agree with you 110%. I mean your reply for clicky. Lets not jump to conclusions just yet.. besides we don't even know the fella (apart from what has been told by our dear lea), so how can we make judgements based on our general knowledge of what an 'a go go boy' is all about.. this entry has got to be one of the most inspiring story ever.. and NO, not in that way u cheeky cunts.. lol.. i mean the things we'd do for the sake of love. The things u do,the miles u'd walk.. There's always a message (or messages for that matter) behind every story, to notice it,to get it,to realize it is to stop judging and just listen/read.. but then again you are entitled to you own opinion, so can't say that your wrong. Anyway lea, he must of seen that side in you.. the same side we all saw not so long ago.. to open up with such history, requires trust and the sense of feeling comfortable with the other.. guess u gave him that 'comfy' feeling eh? hahahaha gurau je la.. kisses darling, hope u win one or two, maybe three or more awards yea.. break a leg! literally? nah..
yazrie
January 24, 2006   08:45 PM PST
 
NANGISSSS....
shay
February 21, 2006   01:37 AM PST
 
a good story....i dig this entry..show the other side of the guy..siannnye...melelehhhh u olss...



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