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Sunday, January 01, 2006

ONCE UPON A TIME, I WAS THAT SHOWGIRL - Episode 25 (The End)

From the last episode... Episode 24: "THE END" - It's almost there...

Well - you know what they say. If you think you've sacrificed a big deal, pastinya pulangannya akan lebih lumayan, kan? ... Tapi apenye pulangannya itiew?

Episode 25: Showgirl's life - End of Chapter

Hello to a new year (2005) and welcome "New Life - New Beginning"... Itu la perumpamaan yang sesuai utk mek katakan utk last year, 2005 - January 1st. Genap lah setahun mek tinggalkan dunia showgirl. Genaplah setahun mek meniti hari² "baru" di Kedah. Yeap it's true - I left everything, but I didn't tinggalkan all my memories; hey, they don't call me Miss Past Tense for nothing you know... ahaks!

For the whole year of 2005 - macam² sangat berlaku. Ups and downs, memang banyak cabarannya. But that was only during the first half of the year. But Alhamdulillah, I've gone through it and managed to live the remaining 6 months dengan hati yang lebih tenang.

So anyways, selepas menjejakkan kaki kembali ke Kedah, at first memang lah I thought of like a couple of months only. Tapi what can I say, kita hanya merancang. DIA yang menentukannya. And tgk², me ended up dah setahun dah back in Kampung.

Menyesal? Dinch ah. RINDU? YES. Setiap manusia pasti akan merindui those mements yang made u feel happy and what not. Tak leh la nak salahkan sesiapa. But to 'menyesal' for having a more, erm, better life? Dak kot. Am happy now, seriously. Although there comes those times when me feel like I wanna go back, since I missed the limelite and all, tapi, tah la. I guess I redha.

Memang mek mengaku, kadang kala tu rindu banget nih nak balik buat show, masuk pageants and what not - tgk blog² org pasal org lain buat shows and what not semua tu, kadang² led me to menari sengsorang dalam bilik feeeeling sengsorang. HAHAAH! Kalau 5thE boleh buat kat YM Conference, takkan mek tak leh buat show sengsorang dalam bilik mengadap cermin!? LOL!

For the first few months after I came back from KL to Kedah, me did nothing much. HAHAH yeah - those times, ASIK LAH PC 24-7. Dan waktu tu, MYSPACE and Myspace BLOG la dunia ku until mek ceburi Blogspot dan seterusnya, Blogdrive. At least, it was like, ok la - tak der lah bohsan sangat. And day by day, mek fell in love with bloggin' (that explains the title Che Detz kasik itiew, BLOGGER TAK SERIK²! LOL!)

Dan for the first few months mek 'menghilang' tu, banyak bende² yg berlaku. Rumors, tuduhans, cacian dan lemparan kata - macam² la. Ginger was one of those people yang were there for me during those times when I felt like my world dah macam, the end. But dia tak pernah nak just, biarkan mek cam tu saja. Dalam carutan dan cacian dia yang adakalanya menyakitkan hati tu, ade diselitkan some nasihats and what not and kalau tak kerana dia banyak bersabar dgr my rintihans and what not, I doubt I'll ever survive.

Being back in Kedah, actually, bukannye the end of the world. Although pada mulanya, I was like thinking... "Mampu ke mek nak survive here? Aiyoh! BOHSAN!" but surprisingly, mek survived, and I could never have felt happier...  Di sini lah mek mengenali ertinya to dekatkan diri dengan NYA; di sini la mek mengenali erti hidup sebenarnya dan yang penting, di sini lah mek mengenali KEMAMPUAN diri mek yang sebenarnya. Dan being back here in Kedah, mek gained WEIGHT yang penting. At first ramai tak percaya - well not until recently la kan! LOL! Gaining weight tu tandanya mek happy, gumbira - sangat². Tu yang sampai dari 55kg naik sampai 75kg! LOL!

But apa apa pon, I was determined not to let the name, NURLEA LAURIELLE @ Lady Laurielle itiew hilang begitu saja. THAT's why me went serious with bloggin' and what not - so that orang takkan lupakan who Lady Laurielle itiew. Hiks!

Basically to really know what happened throughout the year 2005, you have to khatam my blogdrive la kot! LOL! Baca balik Archive mek semua tu, and you'll know what's been goin' on. Nuthing much actually. Like I said, the 1st half of 2005, it was kindda like slow; me tried to get back on track, betulkan apa yang salah and what not. Start masuk bulan June 2005, that's when mek macam mula take things like, erm - cam mana nak cakap ek? Komited? Yer la kot. Mek went serious with my family's business, and then mek mula berkawan² balik with people around AS, and that's when my life jadik lebih better dari yesterday...

Biarpon mek menghilangkan diri dari the real world but at least mek tak pernah menyepi dari dunia alam maya ini. Dengan adanya tagboards and forums, emails and ym and what not, mek rase macam mek never left anything. Except there were occassions when mek wasn't there, tapi nak buat macam mana kan. It's for the best I guess...

This last episode may be like somewhat macam, a disappointing ending for some of u yang expecting entry finale nih macma gedebas gedebus kan. But not for me. Yang penting, the year ended just, ok for me. And for me, as long as am happy, that's what matters to me.

There are like tons of things I wanna write tapi betul la, kalau bebetul mek nulis ape yang jadik sepanjang 2005, its like, rewrite the whole archive la kan? Hiks! So sapa yang dah khatam, ok la. Sapa yang belom, cuba pi khatam nengok. Hiks! Boleh nampak la that my life is getting better and better everyday. Hiks!

But basically, the life of a showgirl - suatu pengalaman yang takkan dpt mek lupakan and forever akan abadi dalam my heart. 4 tahun (2000 - 2004) mek menghambakan diri dalam dunia showgirl/ drag nih - dan 4 tahun itu la macam² dah jadi. Again, menyesal - never. Glad - yes. Walaupun mek dinch jadik showgirl lagik, that doesn't mean mek tak drag or takkan drag dah, KAN? Hiks! Kita hanya merancang, penentunya, hanyalah DIA.

Dengan harapan 2006 will be somewhat a better year for me, mek telah bersedia lalui hari² muka dengan lebih tabah dan cekal (tak leh ler lari dari perangai DQ mek tu. Itu musti ado! LOL!) And so, with that, habis lah episode ke 25 ini dan yang penting - walaupun temanya THE END, but like I said - NO ONE HAS SEEN THE LAST OF LEA LAURIELLE! Hiks!...



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Posted at 3:36:10 pm by Nurlea Laurielle Lai Lee Abdullah

5thE
January 6, 2006   01:10 AM PST
 
Kalau 5thE boleh buat kat YM Conference, takkan mek tak leh buat show sengsorang dalam bilik mengadap cermin!? LOL!

<<pathetic kan?? AKEKEKEKEKEKKEKE...
wilma_ervanna
April 21, 2007   11:53 PM PDT
 
well .. mcm boleh buat telenovela cerita nie .. tapi apa2 pun hope u success in everthing u do .. okies



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