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Friday, November 11, 2005

"What's wrong with me Doctor?"...


At a local clinic...

"I hope you do realize that you're not so well..." said the doctor, in somewhat a low and slow tone.

"But Doctor, what's wrong with me?" asked the patient, who apparently seemed worried.

"I will give you what you need for now; and hope it will at least ease the pain you're having..." replied the doctor, tryin' not to jump into any conclusion.

"But Doctor, what's wrong with me? I think I need to know my health condition, Doctor..." said the patient who seemed a little bit stressed.

"If the pain continues, I would suggest you to do a thorough check-up at the GH. And I hope your parents will be there too; so that they will be among the first to know..." continued the doctor, who apparently started to make the patient more and more worried...

"To know what Doctor? I think I'm old and wise enough to know it first... Doctor, what is all this? What's wrong with me?" insisted the patient...

"Well... you have..." Have what?...

It is not easy to find out about something that you didn't expect to hear. Everything seems to come crushing into thousands of little pieces. 'The world is coming to it's end...', 'There goes a sunshine-filled tomorrow...' or 'So much for a happy ending to my life...'; the list of those sayings go on and on. Why? Because when you find out you have something (medically) that you least expected to have. Counting up to 10 seems to be so fast that you thought you were just starting to say 1 when you were already about to say 10...

So what would one do when one finds out something that one least expected to have? Is it over? Does the sun stops shining on to one's life? Or is it a time for one to stop doin' everything else, and start thinking of the things one has done over the past years, and what made God gave you the thing that you're suffering now? One may sit down and ponder through the memory lane, but when the day is over, one has got to believe the reality, the fact, the present, and what lies ahead, when one is diagnosed with...

People say, a doctor is just a doctor. He is no God, he is no life predictor, he is just... a doctor. He checks us all, he examines everything, and he concludes it all, and tells us what we need to know (sometimes with a little bit too much of hesitations) - well, can anyone blame them? Sometimes it is not as easy to tell, compare to listening and acceptin' the breaking news. Doctors only tells us what he thinks, what he feels, from his medical point of view. The rest, it's all up to HIM.

Bottom line is, doctors have to do what they were trained to do... but how would one (the patient who got to know about the 'news') continue life afterwards?

Depending on the condition of the 'news'; how serious, how severe, how... life-threatening the situation is - I believe that whatever it is, one must be able to control his or her emotions, first.

It's ok to show signs of emotional breakdown, but not too much on the outside. Let it all out inside of you first. For me, there are gazillion of other possibilities. Why crack when you only went through a minor check-up at a clinic, when you still have a thorough check-up waiting in the GH? You might find out A at the clinic; but how sure are you GH will be telling you the same? For all you know, you could be having B instead? Anything is possible, just don't jump into any conclusions just yet - but believe me, the feeling is like, the checkup at the clinic, with u suspected with A, that is just about... "It's everything - it's over..." and yeap, that's jumping into conclusions alright. But who can blame these people? They're scared, they didn't expected to know about it? They didn't see 'sick' was on its way to their life, so who could blame this people for jumping into conclusions?

I wonder what does it really mean... "Life ain't over until the fat lady sing?" Fat lady who? And even if we know who this fat lady is, how would we know if she's just singin' as in singing? Not singin' to show that "Hey boy wake up and smell the coffee around you - and yes, it's over and time to say 'Bye Bye'..."? We don't know, right?

On the other note, sometimes, when things like this happens, one may sit down and think...

"What have I done to get 'this'?"

"God gave me 'this' because I was bad in my past years?"

"Why am I sick? I've prayed to HIM all my life, done things HE wanted me to do and etc, why is HE constantly testing me? Is this HIS last test? Is this how my life should end?"

"Is this the time when I am supposed to increase my prayers to HIM?"

"Will HE still accept me after today?"

"Should I give up life as it is now and start preparing for the day when HE will see me?"

The list goes on - believe me, it does. But everything, the answers and all, only YOU as in the one, who can answer 'em; not anyone else; just you yourself, and HIM. That's why when ppl questioned about one's faith towards HIM, one will always answer and should have always answered... "My faith with God is just between me and God - it has nothing do with you..."

Should one stop 'living' just because one knows he or she will be dead soon? I think not. From the point where one finds out about 'it', I believe that it is only the begining, and not the end. Take life as a challenge thats what ppl say - and 'it' is part of the challenge. And again, after all, why should one be jumping into conclusions when one still needs to attend GH and meet GPs for further check-ups? :) ....



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Posted at 1:01:01 am by Nurlea Laurielle Lai Lee Abdullah

5thE
November 11, 2005   07:57 PM PST
 
erm... terdiam seketika.... been thru it... scary...but have faith in HIM, remember HIM only, *sob sob*
Nurlea Laurielle
November 11, 2005   11:37 PM PST
 
pray and hope for the best? :)
uculer
November 12, 2005   11:44 PM PST
 
erm...tah la. harap-harap tak de la sbb rasenye tak cukup kuat nak hadapi dugaan centuh



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