From the last episode... Episode 22: Working for a diva...

Namun, sebaik saja lepas habis shooting, hati mek memberontak balik. Why? I've missed performing, dan drag balik. Rindu gile sangat2 nak drag, sangat2. Nak kuar buat show la, nak lepak2 ciksit lah - mek nak tu semua. Tapi memandangkan schedule mek ngan Ning very busy, mana sempat diknon. Dan dalam pada mek dok dalam kelam kabut hati gundah gulana tu, tawaran permenant PA utk Ning Baizura muncul. Mek sangatlah terkejut when Ning offered me dan dengan gaj yang melertops jugaks. Tapi waktu tu hati mek ala ala berbelah bahagi. Mek macam ala ala don't know what I wanted. Sangat2 keliru, celaru, mek dinch tau nak buat ape dah. Walaupun Ning dan Vernie sangat lah baik pada mek, selalu nasihat mek itu ini, tempat kalau mek nak mengadu domba, Ning boleh jadi tempat mek bertanyakan nasihat dan minta pendapat - Vernie pon cam tu, tanya lah apa apa, ade masalah pa per, cakap jer - ade nye dua dua tu akan nasihatkan mek. Ning lagi la, makan aku pon dia nengok2kan, kalau terlebih2 makan overdose, dia jeling (suruh jaga badan lah tu), kalau kurang, dia ikut makan2 sekali. Baik orangnya... tapi....... apakan daya, mek sangat2 rindukan nak drag balik. Sebulan mek tak drag, rase cam setahun sangat. Mek rindu sangat2 nak buat show.... dan atas sebab2 tu lah, mek tolak offer permenant status, sangat2 menolak walaupun dinasihatkan oleh Vernie about the big opportunities and chances yang not many people boleh dapat, namun, mek tetap menolak... call me stupid, tapi mek tak boleh nak tolak ketepi ape hati aku nak. And so, I left...

Episode 23: Back in the limelight...

And so I left what's meant to be my biggest opportunity in the real entertainment industry/ world, for my ultimate limelite in the entertainment world of my people - yeap. Silly of me but I did. Mek kembaliks u ols (kembali here refers to the fact that mek kembali ke dunia drag dan show world, DAN jugak kembali buat episode ini setelah, let me see, sebulan lebih tak update? Mati la mek!). Dan kembaliknya mek dalam dunia drag waktu tu setelah menyepi sebulan lebih sebab kerje dengan Ning, mek feeling² nak make things right again. Of course waktu tu I've done so many mistakes, ie left the drag business membuta cam tu jer and turned down a lot of offers which apparently buatkan orang sentap/ disappointed. Plus banyak bad rumors yang ala² memburukbusukkan nama mek yang tak der lah wangi sangat itiew. So mek nekad, mek nak kembalik buat show, and this time - mek REALLY nak ppl be proud and terkasima nengok kekembaliquesnya mek ke arena showgirl...

And so, mek pun mengorak langkah kembali kepersada buat show. You see, the thing that mek missed most waktu tu, bukannye nak attention semata². Mek missed the point mek took 2 3 hours just to get ready, mek missed that feeling nak masuk toilet, shave sana sinik segala bagi - missed the part waktu nak pi show, riuh rendah dalam kereta and semua tu. Tu la yang saat² mek rindu. Yer, mek tak der lah cakap I don't miss the attentions given during show and waktu jengjalan lepas shows ke ape ke - itu musti la ade jugak. Nampak sangat mek menipu kalau if I say I don't miss all that... kan? Hiks!

From hotels to resorts and country clubs, from discos to clubs and bars/pubs, from shopping mall to private residentials - semua mek redah bersama either Glitters.Com or with The Fabulous Disco Show group. I was like at the peak sangat! Mek sangat suka and enjoyed every minute time² mek buat show tu, regardless lah mek jadik lead ke, jadik backup ke - mek tetap gumbiraks! Shows di Liquid pun waktu tu semakin meriah. Setiap kali show musti ade this group from Kampai kot, dan setiap kali lepas show, mesti these ppl especially yang boss dia sorang tu, musti call mek suruh mek pi join depa. Nak tak nak, kena la jugak, Kan? Wanna know a little secret? News flash honey - mek rasa waktu mek duduk kat meja tu, dipeluk boss Kampai tu, dan huuu haaa huuu haaa segala bagai tu - mek rase la kan, mek rase mek lebih binatang dan terasa seperti diri nih bagaikan pelacccccur sangat² (walaupun mek tak buat pa per k! Ewww!!). Mek rase tersangattt² lah seperti call girls tau, ala ala GRO pun mek rase ade jugak, sebab mek had to berkepit dengan boss tu. It was lebih teruks, kalau nak compare time mek gedik² di Uptown ke, Cik Sit ke, clubbing ke ape ke - tu macam, ala² gedik² for fun. Ini kan, to sit with these ppl yang dah separuh mabuk, dan dioffer macam² (selain drinks, these men PERNAH ade jugak offer nak sponsor mek bedah cikpuks lah, nak suruh mek duduk kat apartment la, nak belikkan itiew ke belikkan ini ke - HELLO!?!?!?!?! Ape dia pikiaq mek nih nak sangat kepit jadik mistress?) Although, MEK MENGAKU, at first - it was tempting. Sumpah, tak tipu. And yes, at first, mek suka attention bila these guys dari big² companies nih called me to duduk and join them sembang² minum² ke ape ke, kan? Mek admit, mek memang suka the attention. Tapi lepas lama ke lamaan, bila dah tiap² hari asik dok push mek suruh operate la, duduk sekali la, ape bagai nak spedorama semua tu - mek mula dah menyampah. Like, fuck it lah! Kuasa ok! Macam, I like being who and what I truly am - tok sah nak suruh mek buat tu suruh mek buat nih. Kowser tau! Tapi aside from that, mek memang tgh laris time tu - apa² offer jer mek sapu (show wise la ek!) hehehe... mek dah tak picky² sangat. Asalkan ado show, buat, payment dapat ke idak ke, mek tarkik. Janji mek happy buat show...

Showboys mek - yang bersinglet itiew lah Man Thai, Mr Malaysia 2003... nih waktu show mek dengan Glitters kat Bleu Bar lamer...

Selain dari mek tgh happy² gila² buat show, mek ala² decided nak start bergiatkan diri balik dalam dunia beauty pageants. Noooo not as the contestant, tapi mek nak be part of the backstage ppl; either helping the organizer with the pageant, OR mek nak bergiatcerdas dengan contestants² ie siapkan mereka, sponsor ke, sewa dresses mek ke, I mean like - jadik macam Pasha, Sherryn, Shee semua tu - kan depa ala² banyak cenderung siap²kan orang, sponsor/ sewakan dress/ accessories and what not, kan? So mek pun nak jugak lah. Since I was sooo determined not to compete again, mek decided nak sangat be part of the pageant jugak, cuma different jabatan jer. Heheheeh... Sebelum² nih pun, ade lah mek tolong² sikit² backstage dengan contestants lain. Tapi tu lain feelingnya, sebab either waktu tu I was a contestant also, ataupun mek tolong LITE² jer. What mek mau sekarang pada waktu tu, mek nak jaga seorang contestant from head to toe, semua mek nak jaga. Percubaan pertama mek was Amanda waktu Miss Two Faces 2004. Ala² dia nak make up sendirik, tapi mai tang part rambut, dress baju, accessories dan bantuan belakang stage, dia nak mek tolong. Mek sangat teruja time tu - terharu kengkawan sendirik nak mek tolong. Mek suka mek suka! So mek pun tolong la dia waktu tu dan Kie pulak bantu si Yus. Yang penting, waktu Miss Two Faces tu, orang ramai tak percaya mek hadir semata² nak tolong Amanda/ make up artist and backstage helper for Amanda. HEHEHEH! Ramai orang ingat MEK yang nak masuk bertanding, BOLEH? LOL! Mati la kalau mek masuk Miss Two Faces. Time woman, ok lah. Time kena transform jadik jantan, SAH SAH FAIL!!! LOL!

Miss Two Faces 2004 - mek yang ditengah itiew, siapkan si Amanda yang sebelah Kanan mek (kirenye sebelah KIRI PIC nih ler yang in red itiew) kesian dia, kena ejek FLOWER GIRL gara² rambut yang mek siapkan baginya itiew - HAHAHA... sorry nah Amanda - pensabotajan secara tak sengaja! LOL!

Yang penting, waktu Miss Two Faces tu lah... ade suara² meh habaq kat mek belakang stage...

"Lady!!! U ols tampak cantik sekallllsss malam nih!!! Harus u ols lebih cantik dari pesaing u ols tah sape nama tah yang menangkan u ols di Miss Universe tahun lepas tu!"

"Sape? Ginger? Dia ade datang ke?"

"Yesss! Dia datang ok! Harus kau posing depan dia kasik dia makan hati tgk kau yang lebih slim dan cantik dari tahun lepas, dan yang penting, lebih vast dari dia malam nih... gi la tgk dia noq!"

"Mana mek tahu dia duduk mana?!"

"Ala - dia duduk sekali dengan kawan kau si Che Det tu, dekat meja² depan, cuba ko gi tgk Lady..."

Dan ZASTTTT terus mek tinggalkan anak ayam mek si Amanda tu (sorry Amanda, mek tipu u ols mek pi toilet! LOL!) dan lari nih dengan dress separa seethrough katanya with chinese haltered neck, pi nengok Ginger si Miss Universe itiew. Sampai jer di meja Che Detz, mata mek meliar carik mana satu ponen tu. Sungguh mek tak perasan pada mula²nya. Memang betul dia ade disitu, depan mata mek, dengan make up ala² lite² feeling woman, dengan rambut ala² feeling rebondiing katanya walaupun kejung, harus dia makan hati tgk bun mek! - mek ingat lagik! Mek ala ala senyum² kekwat nih, macam... "Ini ke dia Miss Universe yang kalahkah mek tu? Haiyoyo... malukan title jer! Baik kasik aku menang, sah sah mek akan serikembangankan title tu. Bukan cam dia - dengan make up KELABU!" (MATI LA MEK! GINGER DAH BERSIAP SEDIA DENGAN ENTRY TERBARU KATANYA NAK BIDAS CARUTANCARAS MEK TERHADAPNYA! Mek pasrah - mek redha - mek terima sajo!!!!!!!!!!!! *mek pun dah ready compose siap dah saved dah nih, comment² yang akan mek balas dalam entry si Ginger tu! Heheh soooo Miss Future Tense! LOL!)

Yang penting, issue mek ngan Ginger nih sebenarnya tak habis disitiew jer. Malam tu lepas the event, mek ingat lagik. Dia laser mek, dan mek laser dia - masing² dari dalam kereta, di Cik Sit katanya - (setelah mendapat persetujuan G utk ceritskan hal ini - exclusive nih, kan G? Walaupun temanya sepatutnya event nih happened di hari/ waktu/ tarikh yang lain, KAN? LOL!)

As my car masuk ke Cik Sit, I saw Ginger in another car, heading OUT of the ever busy Cik Sit.

"Heyyyy sangat tak sesuweiiii katanya Miss Universe melacur di sini!? Tak jatuh standard ke u ols? U ols tu kan Miss Universe katanya? Hahahaha"

"Haiiiii u ols tu also apa kurangnya, Miss Malaysia katanya? Tak malu ke menjatuhkan gelaran ratu MALAYSIA datang ketempat macam nih??? Tak ke keji namanya?"

Terus - mek rase dia pon sentap, mek pon sentap - dua dua terus buat hal sendirik! HAHAHAHAH... So itu lah dia, sedikit advertisement pasal mek dengan si Ginger tu! HEHEHEH - so berbalik kepada kesah mek dibelakang tabir. Mek happy sangat malam tu dapat menolong si Amanda siap² segala bagai - terasa diri nih amatlah diperlukan dan penting disisinya. Dan along the way, mek ade la jugak turunkan nasihat itu ini kat dia, dan Alhamdulillah dia berjaya masuk top 10 but tak mampu nak ke top 5. Ok lah tu, kirenya, kan? Yang penting malam tu - mek sorak bagai orang gila ok. Mek suka sangat event tu malam tu - mek feeling² happy gilos... hiks!

Selain daripada itiew - dikala waktu nih lah mek mula ade officially sorang anak ayam yang mek didik asuh bagai semua for Miss Universe 2004. Mek pun never dreamed nak ade anak ayam sendiri katanya. Tapi time tiba utk mek really have seorang anak ayam and I did and mek turunkan segala² ilmu yang mek ada kat dia... sedutan sikit dari Blog CD yang intervied mek pasal hal anak ayam mek nih...

CD: Ok. Berbalik kepada MU2004/2005. Congratulations! Anak ayam, anak didik you sendiri bolot the title ek? How does that feel?

LL: Thanks...Heheheh... ala ala je la laaaaaaaa. Dah rezeki dia. Sejarah about Sharleen (Miss Venezuela a.k.a MISS UNIVERSE 2004/2005) and me… I got to know this adik2 baru dari UNITEN nih waktu dia buat show waktu heats of Superstar Search 2004 kat Bleu Bar... mak tgk dia, macam, ada pontensi. So I soksek2 carik infos about her and stuff. Managed to get her number, called her up, told her I wanna help her get into Miss Universe 2004. She was a bit shocked but accepted my offer of jadik anak ayam I and for months la jugak, we do a bit of training here and there. I kasik dia tgk vcd2 miss I, suruh dia buat homework, test make up, this and that. To me, TO ME ek, not to anyone else which I tak bother sangat, this gal... she is, to me, cute, witty, ade brains to go along with her looks. So that’s why I berani pegang dia. Dan kalau nak jadik mak ayam, can’t expect anak ayam datang cari kita and suruh kite jaga dia, sponsor this and that. Like Sharleen, I saw the qualities in her, I saw that she could go far... I saw the younger me... heheheheheh... so that’s why I took her as my anak ayam. It works that way. It’s like, mak ayam will devote and cari his or her own anak ayam and doesn’t work the other way round. So on that day of MU2004/2005, although I sibuk with work as committee member, buat shows opening with GlittersDotCom and what not, I tetap sempat siapkan dia, head to toe, kasik dia pakai dresses I, rambut, accessories, shoes and stuffs, semuenye I tanggung. And it was worth it. Worth sponsoring everything that I did. She was more than I expected. Honestly, I didn’t expect her to be in top 10, but when she got in, I was like, ok, Alhamdulillah. She made it. It was then up to her to continue her struggle and give out her best in the q/a session. And when she answered the way she did that night, there was a pinch of me saying she could be the next MU. And masin mulut mak, menjadik. Alhamdulillah. Dah
rezeki dia... :)

A year ago Mak Ayamnye dapat tempat ke tiga di Miss Universe 2003 - pada tahun 2004, anak ayamnya piular menang Miss Universe 2004, HOW!? Itu lah namanya rezeki... hiks!

Sambungan interview CD dengan Sharlene, si anak ayamkiew yang masih bergelar Miss Universe 2004 itiew - sila lah click HERE u ols! Hiks!

Dah selesai bab tu, di kala tika penghujung episode ini jugak lah, mek telah menyerahkan title mek as Miss Malaysia 2003, kepada pemenang Miss Malaysia 2004... Ayang... mrasalah baca petikan yang diambil darik itiew interview dari CD also u ols!

CD: Tapi after MU2003, you managed to secure Miss Malaysia 2003, kan?

LL: It's like, a revenge sort of thing. I prepared well for Miss Malaysia 2003. I knew I could do it and I wanted to win. But there was at one time, I thought, I might just get 1st runner-up again sbb waktu they annouce the top two remaining, were me, Miss Penang and Ayang, Miss Perak. Ayang to me was my thoughest fight for Miss Malaysia 2003. Eventually, she got second and I won the title.

CD: You lost weight a bit during Miss Malaysia, tul tak?

LL: Lite lite sugiii lah jugak, turun lah sikit dari time Miss Universe 2003 tu, bentat yang maha azab. Ehehehehe.

CD: You dah crownkan this years' winner, Miss Malaysia 2004, kan?

LL: Yeap. Miss Malaysia 2004 this year yang diorganizedkan by Kak Sharmila of the Milla Entertainments dah pun berakhir. Contest tu telah diadakan on the 10th, October, at Saloma. T’was like, just a day after MU2004.

CD: How does it feel to give away the title balik?

LL: I felt a bit, a bit only ah... sad about it. Thinking that I will no longer be Miss Malaysia, thinking about the wonderful things that has happened to me throughout my whole reign. Yeah, terase la jugak. On the other hand, happy jugak sbb dah tak pikul burden as a title holder. Tak gittu Gingger? Hehehehehehehehehe.

CD: Dan ape perasan Lady bile u all kena crownkan Ayang, yang merupakan 1st Runner-Up last years’ Miss Malaysia?

LL: Biase jer. She was and still is a good competitor. She has got that spirit in her yang I look up to. When I was in Saloma witnessing MM2004/05, I knew it, she’s gonna be my successor. And when I crownkan dia, I sempat bisik kat telinga dia “This time, the crown is yours Ayang”. She cried... cried like there’s no tomorrow. And the she replied “Thank you”...in sobbing tears lah kan… eheheheehe...

Miss Malaysia - the one and only pageant/ title yang tak akan sampai bila² mek lupakan - NEVER!

***During her final walk as Miss Malaysia 2003/2004, she was asked this question by Regina, the MC for the pageant...

Regina: Laurielle, tell us all, what was it like, for the past one year, to be Miss Malaysia 2003/2004?

LL: Assalamualaikum and a very good evening Ladies and Gentlemen. For the past one year, it has been the most unforgettable experience of my life, reigning the title of Miss Malaysia 2003/2004. I’ve made a lot of new friends, not to mention few enemies too. I’ve learned a lot too, like I’ve learned, like, how to carry myself well like a true queen, how to ignore rumours and take things positively, and most of all, winning the title has changed the way I think, the way I see things and the way I present and carry myself… and to this years’ winner. I hope that you carry the title well as well as you carry yourself after winning the title. Remember that you deserve the title, regardless what other people might say or even think about you. You go girl!

***More stories about Miss Malaysia - mrasalah check out these links, nah?

• Miss Malaysia 2003 - Part 1


• Miss Malaysia 2003 - Part 2


• Miss Malaysia 2003 - Part 3


• Miss Malaysia 2003 - Part 4

In short - yeah, it felt good to let go of the title tapi the sweet-o-memories, the crowing moments, semuanya - I will NEVER ever lupakan. And the next day mek ingat, dah start PUASA 2004! Hiks! Owh did I tell you, Ginger ngan mek ala² commolot bebaik nih waktu she crowned Sharlene anak ayam mek kat Miss Universe 2004? HAHAHAH - and lepas pada kes berbaik tu la - we became really close, sampai la ke sekarang. In many ways, without her, mek rase mek dah separuh gila kat AS nih! HAHAHAHAH * Syiiaall mek nak nangis! Over tau!

Mek tetap went on with my shows...

Life went on for me, biarpun berpuasa tapi tetap ade tawaran shows dan performances yang mek kena attend/ buat. What to do - dah kemaruk sangat nak show, kan? Nahhh hambek! LOL! Tapi walaupun bershow segala bagai, puasa tetap ok. Ingat jugak waktu² berbuka posa dengan Mak Ayam Sharmine, Kak Iterk, Abang Zali, Abang Zambry, Freda and the rest - Valeri, semua geng² Fabulous Disco Show cast kat CM tu - meeriiiah sangat! Dan lepas berbuka/ makan, NAHHH! Bermulalah transformasi jadik showgirl utk show malam itiew. Tapi it was fun, walaupun memenatkan. Ini la dikala mek tgh bergumbira di hari² akhir mek sebelum...

~Bersambung dalam episode 24 (wallahua'lam bila! LOL!)~






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