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Wednesday, April 20, 2005

A drag queen; in love with a straight guy?



Loving a straight guy isn’t always easy. I mean, talking from my previous experiences, I know how hard it is to be that ‘girl’ for that straight guy… but not on all occasions though. If you're lucky, you get to get that very loving and understanding - 'I love you for who and what you really are, even without make up and out of drag' kinda straight guy. And if you do get that type, boy, you're really really lucky! Haiyoh! Mek nak also! Ehehehe

Just another gambar hiasan la u ols, hehe... *wink wink*


First and foremost, let’s talk about the word, ‘Love’…

“Miss Mexico, what is ‘love’ to your definition? Share it with us… Apakah pengertian ‘cinta’ bagi anda, kita kongsi bersama…”

I can still remember me ‘telan air liur’ dan mata ‘meliar’ jer, practically everywhere, as soon as I got that q – mata meliar tu, yer lah, sebok mencari jawapan pada soalan tersebut yang telah diajukan oleh the host, for me, during my Top 10 Q&A Session. It was during Miss Universe Diva 2003 at Grand Season Hotel… No no no! This is not another one of my Beauty Pageant entry. Hang on. I’ve got my point here. Yer lah! I memang kuat menyimpang. So bare with me!

Anyways…

My ridiculous answer for that question, which landed me in the 1st runner-up placing, was…

“Good evening everyone... to me, love is all about being insecure; I'm sorry, I meant being SECURED with your love ones, being with the person that you actually care for. Love is actually, something that comes from within. You can't just pretend love, just to show love, so that other people will like you. You have to have that love inside you, so people will love you for who you really are; and I think the true definition of love, is unexplainable, and it comes from within; and love, can never be- created, unless it comes from the heart. Thank you Ladies and Gentlemen”

Get the point? No? Haiyoh! What I’m trying to say here is that LOVE tak kenal JENIS manusia. STRAIGHT ke bengkok ke, gays ke lesbians ke, drag queens ke ape2 ke, as long as two manusia ade that feel-feel feeling yang very DER itiew, Love la namanye itu.

But that’s not a proper way of defining LOVE I guess. Love; carries out a lot of definitions. If we were to refer to the Merriam- Webster Online Dictionary, memang banyak definitionnye. Among its definitions would be:

(1): strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (maternal love for a child)

(2)a: attraction based on sexual desire b: affection and tenderness felt by lovers

(3): affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests (love for his old schoolmates)

I think in this entry kali ini, LOVE yang mak maksudkan would be number 2a and 2b.

When we hear men, straight men that is, bercinta dengan either a gayboy (which jarang2 sekali berlaku, unless the gayboy is a total Jambuish type) or they bercinta with a drag queen (be it transgender or a transsexual), can we still call these men, STRAIGHT? I doubt, and I don’t think we ought to, sbb by having feelings even for a full post op transsexual drag queen, STILL, it means, these so-called STRAIGHT men, they sort of like, have feelings twrds another male – well, although technically they’ve done sex-change operation and what not, still, hujung pangkalnya, asal kejadiannya, TETAP lelaki! So, these men will fall under the category of BISEXUAL guys, kan? Well – THAT’S NOT THE POINT OF THIS ENTRY ACTUALLY… LOL!

Menyingkap tentang soal CINTA di antara seorang lelaki (straight ke bisexual ke, whatever lah kan) dengan the ahli kumpulan minority dunia nih (gayboys, sissy, jambu, mak nyah ts or tg) - sejauh manakah mampu mereka bertahan dalam Cinta? Like, is there such thing as real true love between a man and another man dressed up like a girl? Or to some, yang dah went for full-conversion tu, will it last forever? ‘To love and to understand, through thick and thin, through sick and pain, till death do us part?’

Before we go on any further, since I’ve mentioned the word REAL, let’s discuss about this. Ade pernah sekali dua dipersoalkan tentang kewibawaan cinta insan2 'special' nih; most of the times this question would come from the guys, I wouldn’t wanna say that they’re vulnerable, but I guess they’re just being curious and takin’ safety measures…

"Cinta mereka (in this context, it refers to gays, drag queens and what not i.e. me) – are they for REAL? Or are they just a bunch of losers with FAKE love? Namun, pernah ke u ols tanye - these minorities, these, drags, gays and what not, diaorang bukan manusia ke? U ols - these drags and what not - they are human too. Ade hati, perasaan dan keinginan nak bercinta, even with same gender. So again, Cinta tak kenal jenis manusia. Cuma 'halal' dan 'haram' tu tak dapat nak dinafikan lah kan (NOTE - so jgn la lepas2 nih ade org nak gunakan this entry nak hentam we drag queens pulak. Remember, I reserve every right nak delete pathetic comments - warning awai2, pi main jauh2 bagi those yang tak der keje, yang tahu nak mengummmmmmmmmmmpat jer. Ehehehe)

Bertahankah cinta men with drags? - Soalan. Cinta STRAIGHT between pompuan dengan lelaki, ade tak yang TAK BERTAHAN? Ade tak yang 'hujan di tengah jalan'? Ade kan? Dan pernah tak kite dengar, gay couples lived until their old days - Straight/bisex men yang fedup dengan women, terus bercinta forever dgn gayboy/jambu or maknyah as for that matter, and lasted forever? Pernah kan? So HERE WE ARE with the statement; anything is possible.

So moral of this entry, up to here, is this... jgn kita pandang serong tentang CINTA biarpun it involves a man with a drag, or a pengkid with another girl, or between two gayboys, or what not - even now we hear drag queens pun leh couple sesama mereka. Soalanya disini, CINTA - LOVE. It's so sacred, its so pure. No boundries nak cinta ngan sapa2 tapi akibat alamat semua, sendirian berhad la kan. Love is a very sacred thing and be it straight or not, an ever lasting commitment is very important.

Coming back to our issue here, I would like to bring u ols punye attentions to these two experiences that I went through…

“Lea dearie, I’m willing to accept you as you are, so would u please open the door for me…”

“No no no! I’m not in drag la Abang!! And for goodness the first time I met you two days ago, I was in 10 inches of full make up! Now? Ado? Berbauk segala mauk, lagi u nak nengok!? Dah la you first2 pun saw my pics on the net pun, I was in drag – you picked me up 2 days ago for our first date, also me in drag! Mana ade you pernah tgk me out of drag? No no… I belum ready. I cannot take any chances lah! Give me 15 minutes and I bukak pintu nih, ok?”

“You never know until you try. Now open the door, let me see who is behind it? I already know Lea – I just wanna know her other half. Trust me. Sooner or later I have to see you out of drag jugak, betul tak? Come on Lea… open up the door utk Abang, please?”

“Oh very well!”

“There… that’s not too bad. You still have your cute smile, and those eyes – minus the long hair and the thick make up though… LOL!”

Ini antara a few reasons why I liked R, a straight guy I knew from the net. He saw my pics on Nyahwebnet punye official website back in 2003, January kot. Then we started emailing and stuffs, and we got to know each other, and then we went out and what not. Baik orangnya. Very low profile, always with concept “Fuck la people nak cakap ape me walking holding hands with a drag queen, so what?” Haaa… curlast tak concept monsep dia? Ehehehe. He liked me EVEN when I WAS NOT IN DRAG, which kadang2, most of the time, SUSAH we wanna find that quality in a straight guy. True, apa lah sangat pegang tangan mek tatkala me not in drag, very true. TAPI, kalau sudah pandai kissing me even when I’m not in drag, HOW!? Haaa… sesuatu kan? Remember anything’s possible? :) He's now married with one kid. Still in contact with him, still the same ol' Abang R of Keramat that I used to know... baik, sampai bile2 dia baik.

In another case…

“I kalau boleh, every time we meet up, I nak jumpa Lea je, boleh?”

“So meaning, you tannak jumpa my other half la?”

“Boleh jumpe – no hal. Tapi your other half will not get the same treatment as Lea gets la kan, if you know what I mean”

“So meaning to say, every time you nak jumpa I, I have to be in drag?”

“Yeap- coz I’m straight, so, it won’t look that awkward, when me goin’ out with Lea, as compared to if I go out holding hands with your other half, the male form…”

“So do you love me?”

“Of course I do…”

TENNNETTTZZ!! Wrong! H loved LEA, and not the real me, behind those thick showgirl make up. But I guess I can’t blame him. True, he’s straight, so I guess he expects his love-of-his-life to be, like a girl, most of the time. But in this case - it didn't last long. Why? Sbb when you deal with ppl that won't accept the truth or the real thing, sooner or later, boomm! Meletop jugak. I mean, H didn't wanna see my other half, but knowing me, I was not always as LEA. I was my other half most of the time. So - siape tahan, kan? Mula2 like ok la. Tapi lama2? How? He's happy now I guess dealing back with his straight life. Wish him all the best.

So you see peeps – anything and everything is possible, EVEN when it comes to straight men. We hear that when it comes to sex – the drags gets to be the receiver, and the guys, well, lets just say, they henjut here and there la kan. But, possible dan pernah berlaku (I’m talking in general so don’t point back on me yer!) drags gets to be the TOP and the guys, lets just say, curiosity diaorang yang meluak2 led them to be, the bottom? Ehehehehe… how pelik is that? Pelik but pernah berlaku! Ehehehe...

Haiyoh! Just another gambar hiasan lah u pls, dinch perlu la tanye siape shubern sebels mak itiew. Tak der kena mengena sesiape pon, atau dengan yang hidup atau yang dah mati, atau melibatkan apa apa kes or sesiape, ok! Ehehehe






Posted at 12:31:31 am by Nurlea Laurielle Lai Lee Abdullah

beewak
April 20, 2005   07:48 AM PDT
 
mula mula tu saya tak berapa suka pasal guy loves guy and seterusnye... but when i started reading your entries... jadi serba salah... but itulah kenyataan... not that i'm accepting this... a guy like me can just understand a little... anyway... how do you/we/us fall in love?...
Zairil
April 20, 2005   09:02 AM PDT
 
Fake love? macam pernah dgr je?
anyway, i hv no problems with gays and TS's, as long as they respect me, i too will give them respect. everyone is born with feelings be it str8, bi, gay etc etc... so no doubt love will exist no matter what sexual orientation. we r all born with the ability to love...
the.Guardian7
April 20, 2005   09:37 AM PDT
 
haiyoh... gambar hiasan ?? sentaps..jejanss... terhangat di pasaran..
shay
April 20, 2005   10:01 AM PDT
 
uik ensem2 nyah jejantans ittewww..

i believe that to have a PURE love or relationship you have to accept ppl for what they really are..that means if he loves you only in drag it's not pure enough..just for the sake of letting ppl know that he's straight? nah..that's not right..

just my 2 cents without value added tax ;)
baby bee®
April 20, 2005   10:25 AM PDT
 
hikhikhik... bb AFUNDI jejaka baju merah ittiew..... JEJAKA TERHANGAT DI PASARAN.... hehehehe
Opus-Gua
April 20, 2005   11:56 AM PDT
 
barangsiapa yang cintai ngko dengan mekup/dreg, dia buduh kerna sbnarnya diacintaka mekup ngko bukan diri ngko bwh mekup tu! stret/x stret, sapa2tgk nghko leh jatuhcinta. tapi, ngko kena amik nilai cinta diaorng yang nampk ngko tanpa mekup!adiosamigos!
hani
April 26, 2005   05:49 PM PDT
 
Im curious on how u look like as the 'other' side of u.. I was wondering if u can share.. I think u will still be as cute as ever.. u have wonderful smile..even I (who is a woman) am jealous of yr beauty and smile.. cantik :)
Nurlea Laurielle ®
April 26, 2005   09:56 PM PDT
 
Hani: Thnaks for ur compliments. But sharing with the rest of the world some facts about the other side of me is still under some serious thoughts (apatah lagik sharing the pic of the other half of me) But nevermind, I'll keep u in mind kot2 kalau tergerak hati I nak share - will let u know ya? Thanks anyways... :)
Scavenger
May 25, 2005   10:49 PM PDT
 
hmm... this story doesn't seem right, first u said he loved u in and out of drag and at the end u said he doesn't give u the same treatment when u are in either one?, that doesn't make any sense does it? or r u referring to sex?. if it is then that is the nature of being straight because he needs a girl or lookalike kinda one to make it work hehe, am i right?
Nurlea Laurielle
May 25, 2005   11:03 PM PDT
 
Scavenger: Did u know that i was talking about two different men? And that it does apply to when it comes to s*x - still - I believe that if u wanna love somebody - be it u're straight or not - accepting one for who and what one really is, is VERY important. Anyways - thanks for ur comment! :)
Simon
June 7, 2005   01:40 AM PDT
 
Very interesting topic, I suppose men who are attracted to CD/TG/TS are bisexual and I believe love between 2 men is fine.Accept the person for who he is,
angah_gurl88
December 9, 2005   04:28 PM PST
 
x tau nak kte pe..tp cnta 2 bute,, coz sy pun hnye akn cntakan pengkid seumur idup sy..gud luck..
Nameazroy pengkid
December 24, 2005   10:12 PM PST
 
woi angah ko couple ngan dak pengkid ke kalau betul pun memang kelaka sangat
alis22
May 9, 2006   09:06 PM PDT
 
good topic. something that can wake up my mind. something that i'm looking so far but can't find the right answer. he love me for who i am or what i am? do he love me like i do or something else? a question that can't be answer for me and for u guys out there. i just hope that u have ur answer, Lea coz i believe in you....
sang diva
August 10, 2006   07:51 PM PDT
 
hmm it's difficult when we talk about love. especially when the guy is in love with the image that you choose to hide behind.

Most times, when the finds out about our other half, then everything starts to sour.

But it's also difficult to be just yourself when people still look at others by face value.

Ini namanya diluah mati emak ditelan mati bapak.

after reaching the age of 30 and still single, telinga dah naik pekak dengar soalan sama, bila nak kawin, dari mak abah, kawan, saudara mara, I just give up and now just live my life on day to day basis.

Lea, bukan you saja yang ada dilema macam ni, yang straight like me pun, alahai, selalunya lelaki nak cari yang paling cantik, paling kurus, paling genit, paling manja, paling cute.

Apa ada dalam hati dah jadi pilihan ke 100. Tak kisahlah kalau perempuan tu perangai macam hapa pun, janji sexy giler sampai jantan lain meleleh air liur.

But you don't give up in love dear. Sooner or later it will come to you. Maybe in shapes that you never expected. Insyaallah
Name
March 2, 2007   10:47 PM PST
 
hey!
haha..mm..i think i nak bg komen sket r..
i pown penah stuck gak cm kowg niey..atceli still stuck but xnak ngaku jerr..
haha
buduh tull..feel like an idiot je..
i lurve ma fren..she's pengkidz girl..
me??
hurm..dunno..
lesbian?i think not..
bi mybe..
tak nak la jadi hamba yang dilaknat allah kan..
so aku nak lupakan sume nie..
lantakla nak jadi ape pon!!
muh frenship wif her destroyed cuz of diz..
benci tul..she used to b muh besfrnz..
ade orang kco ar..
adios..
Name
March 2, 2007   10:47 PM PST
 
hey!
haha..mm..i think i nak bg komen sket r..
i pown penah stuck gak cm kowg niey..atceli still stuck but xnak ngaku jerr..
haha
buduh tull..feel like an idiot je..
i lurve ma fren..she's pengkidz girl..
me??
hurm..dunno..
lesbian?i think not..
bi mybe..
tak nak la jadi hamba yang dilaknat allah kan..
so aku nak lupakan sume nie..
lantakla nak jadi ape pon!!
muh frenship wif her destroyed cuz of diz..
benci tul..she used to b muh besfrnz..
ade orang kco ar..
adios..
kak ina
August 6, 2008   02:13 PM PDT
 
amboi anak mak pandai ek manipulasi ayat... bersinta ek? as a matured ts i am here not to Potong Stim. but i think it depends on ur luck.. if ur Malay and Muslim, make it easy for urself gals.. sariap jer jantan jantan yang ujud di dunia ni.. then u all insaflah ye sayang.. muuuuuuuuahs

mak ayam
penang



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