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Wednesday, July 13, 2005

ONCE UPON A TIME, I WAS THAT SHOWGIRL - Episode 20

From the last episode... Episode 19: 1st half of 2004 Part 2(iv) - And then everything seems to go wrong again (summary of the rest of the pageants competed)

I arrived at the venue, very pening kepala, jalan melelong sangat, and I started crying, feeling loya nak muntah and what not - started talking nonsense (very DQ yang bukan dibuat2 - I dont know what was I thinking waktu tu tau) and lebih menakutkan semua, I wasn't able to walk properly and do my catwalk (serious! menakutkan sangat waktu tu!); Siap diaorang ingat I was on E or some sort of drugs ke ape ke... then, with the help of limau ais, and some time to relax, mek redah jugak semifinals tu, knowing I will not get into the finals, and just, gagahi jua contest tu for the sake of nak habiskan aje malam tu. And I did, and yeap, I didn't make it into the finals...

And then... the next day, when I woke up from bed...

Episode 20: End of 1st half of 2004 - The statement I made which changed everything - and the fact that I dropped out from continuing most of the contests after I made that SOTY itiew! LOL!

And so, the next day, when I woke up from bed - I said to myself "THAT'S IT! ENUFF!!! I, QUIT!". Quit what? Quit competing lor, for heaven's sake! It's like, when you get up in the morning, and if you can't think of nothing else but to sing, then you go ahead and sing. If you wake up in style and all you can think of is to continue living in style, then you go on and continue to live in that style. And if one day you get up from bed, all you could possibly think of is to call it a day, no more contests, no more competing and what not, then, by all means - stop competing, full stop!



And so I did. Slowly but surely (within the same week) I started telling almost everyone that am pulling out/ withdrawing myself from competing dalam contests2 yang samada yang belom mek compete lagi (which I already made plans to compete in) dan juga menarik diri dari contest2 yang dah mek masuk (most of it dah sampai ke Semifinals dah)... Antaranya were...
  • Miss Eligible 2004 - Withdrawn from the contest after managed to get into the semifinals.
  • Blue Boy Supermodel Contest 2004 - Withdrawn from the contest after managed to get into the semifinals.
  • Miss Shadows Disco 2004 - Withdrawn from the contest after managed to get into the finals.
3 contests jer? Tak banyak? Aiyoh - menarik diri dari 3 contests nih bukannye something yang mudah nak dibuat. I had to like explain kat organizers, why la, itu ini - and then kena menahan godaan pujuk rayu to stay in the contests la itiew ini - and plus, I had to walk around BB, answering banyak org punye soalans why la nak tarik diri, itiew ini. Tak cukup dengan soalan2 skepulasions itiew semua, di tambah pulak dengan soalan cepumas pasal malam semifinals Miss Diva Internationals tu, kenape macam org gile la, macam mabuk la, macam on E la, Ganj la, itiew ini - ICE la... haiyoh! Penat jugak nak clearkan skepulasis tau. But whatever it is, my objective was simple - mek hanye nak stop competing, which means to say that mek tetap akan buat show, and akan memberi lebih tumpuan utk shows.



Afterall, memang asalnye I started things off with shows kan? Beauty pageants was like, datang, later2 on, kan? So I think its about time mek concentrate balik buat show. Dan tambahan piula, mek dah malas nak dgr org komplen2 pasal asyiklahhhh muke nih jer yang masuk bertanding beauty pageants - naik muak tahu tak, like, feddup, bohsan, enufff! SHADDAP! Ehehehehehe. Dan baru masuk dalam kepala hotak mek nih, yang, selagi mana mek continue competing, selagi tu ramai lah musuh/ org yang iri hati mek akan buat. Dan yang penting sekali, I think that, personally, mek dah tak larat la nak keep up with pageants. I admit it, dulu memang mek pentingkan titles, crowns, and what not; lagi banyak titles yang terkumpul, lagi mek feeling grand. Tapi, I came to realize that, mek dah tak larat nak keep up. Dan pikir2balik, ape lah yang mek nakkan lagi... I mean, semuanya mek dah mrasa sudah...

My pencapaians dalam 4 major beauty pageants in town, (excluding other competitions) for both categories, transgender (gayboy) and transsexuals (pre/ post op tranies)


I think dah memang tibanye time, I make way, give way, utk yang lain, kecapi what I dah kecapi selama nih. Not that am a biggy wiggy competition pong (to some of them, yes, mek memang a big threat, tapi to most of them, am just another drag queen competing with them... nothing to be worried about thingie la gittu)



Waktu mula2 buat statement nak quit from competing tu, a lot thought I was joking around, saje as usual nak timbulkan skepulasis of my own, so that mek akan jadik lebih famous, sebab ppl will talk about it. DINCH! Waktu awal2 buat statement tu also, ramai yang suruh mek reconsider ape yang mek dah buat, ie the keputusan to withdraw myself dari bertanding the remaining pageants and also quit dari persada dunia beauty pageants. DINCH! Dan diawal, atau, permulaan jalan hidup baru itiew (whereby mek decided to quit, call it a day, dari bertanding dalam beauty pageants nih) - it wasn't easy ok. Trust me, it wasn't. Cried? Don't ask. Emo? Don't even think about asking. Semua tu I went through - kutatapi, ratapi my photos dalam photo2 album mek semua, again and again (especially before tidur) and I thought to myself about those happy moments bertanding. And it wasn't even easy to convience people to believe about my seriousness nak quit pageants. Ramai in doubt, could it be just another act from Laurielle, to maintain her popularity, and fame? Tsk... peliz... get real lah peeps! Mek dah time itiew, dah macam feddup sangat nak compete, sangat2. Asyiklah mek terpikir nak concentrate buat shows jer, and I did (later on la kan)

Sampai ke mid 2004 tu, mek calculated, mek dah competed dalam more than 15 contests within, what, 3 years? Tu dah kire like, haiyoh! Tamaknye! LOL! And so mek dengan azam baru, nak concentrate dengan my shows ajer from that moment onwards. Beauty pageants will always be in my heart, sebab tu later2 on I decided to comeback dalam dunia pageants (bende yang kite suke, yang kite minat nak buat, buat lagu mana pong, tak dapat kite pisahkan dengan diri kite, tui dak?) - mek buat comeback itiew, bukan as contestants nah!!! Mek jadik org belakang pentas for the contests tu sendiri, or mek tolong2 backstage utk contestants (tak per, dalam episode2 kedepan2 nih nanti, ade mek citer - tunggu)

It looked as if like, macam, semuanya macam, senang aje kan? I mean, to go through all these, kan? Hehehe - rase2nye lah, u ols tak tahu what me went through la, nak fight the temptations nak compete balik, nak be in the limelight, center stage, winning pageants again... haiyoh! Penat ok! But believe me, you haven't seen (read) anything yet. Semua nih maybe easy to some, maybe like, 'Ala, tak der pa per pon - kalau dah nak quit, quit aje la', and to some, ade yang tahu, exactly how me felt waktu itiew. Tapi tak per, akan mek kupaskan lagik nanti. There's more to come, and more to come dalam Episode 21 - Second half of 2004.




Nurlea Laurielle Lai Lee Abdullah
Like my page? Vote for me HERE!!! And HERE too!!! Thanks u ols!!!





Posted at 8:23:20 am by Nurlea Laurielle Lai Lee Abdullah

Simon
July 19, 2005   12:52 AM PDT
 
baby! u look fab ! .. who's the other babe in white ?
nasikgorengusa
August 3, 2005   06:53 PM PDT
 
first time here... nice!
nasikgorengusa
August 3, 2005   06:53 PM PDT
 
first time here... nice!
AdamdrAgx
October 23, 2005   10:48 PM PDT
 
I like the pic...especially ur laugh!!

Persis seorang RATU!

(i know exactly how u feel when u say u wanna quit!)

AdamdrAgx



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