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Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Bloopers and Blunders of Nurlea Laurielle Lai Lee Abdullah

It's straight to the point peeps - Entry nih mengisahkan ANTARA the sialanz yang telah berlaku when I was in drag form (owh Gawd I can't believe I'm doin' this entry!!!)

Mishaps during my drag moments!


  • Feeling Lacey Panties
      • Dalam kes nih, I was feeling a bit tooo 'feeling' lah. Went out shopping with couple of friends to grab something to wear for malam tu punye event. Yes, I was doin' the crowing for Supermodel Of The Year 2003. Saw this one very derrr sexy red lace panties thingie and I thought to myself, "Dang, this should be sexy; it'll go well with my red, sexy tube top dress. Hurmmm..." And so me bought it tanpa ade rase segan siliew. Malam tibe, make up sudah, everything completed, dan, tanpa was was me took that red lacey macey panties, and, pakai lah! Yes, one layer only! (Well, actually, I should have pakai something underneathe that erm red panties, just for langkah2 berjaga. Tapi takkk! Sebab feeling confidensi high level tahap dewa, tetap, just that one later of that red lace panties jer! Mati la mek)

      Notice how the red short dress itiew very der nampak ketat? Imagine kalau....


      And then, off me went to the event. During the event itself, me dah tak senang duduk. Sat pose cam tu, sat sat lagi pose cam nik... haiyoh! That lacey panties memang dinch comfortablez lah. But tak pe, I was sitting down, so what? There were few times when I ala ala adjust sikit2, sakit la sundel. The kepitan itself was a bit wohhoo sakit, ditambah pulak tersepit dicelah ruangan lacey itiew, gatal ade, pedih ade. Tapi tak per, I was sitting down. So why bother.

      Waktu diaorang announced my name, to naik stage to do the final catwalk and crowning, nahhh! That's it! Bangun2 jer dari seat, I felt it! NYEHHH!!! KEPIT LARI SUNDELLL!!!! Owhhh myyy God! Mek rase pucat la jugak my face, takut kantoi. But thank God tak kantoi la kot, since no one talked about it until mek cakap NOW ler kot? Ehehehe - yang penting, catwalk dalam langkah very der small small steppies; kang bukak langkah dipersada besau2 kang, haiyoh! Mati la mek! The event habis cam tu jer, with no one knew kepitanz mautanz mek dah lari terpesong God knows berape degrees dah. Turun jer stage, quickly lari ke the ladies dan betulkan what most men would say, 'BETULKAN PARKING!'
  • Tayar kerete pancit - HOW LAH!?
      • Hehehh - this was, erm, bangang sikit. Ok, citenye cam nih. Habis show, was a bit toooo tired, got to the car, tgk my car punye tayar dah ala ala nazak. But never the mind, 'SEMPAT LAH SAMPAI SUBANG' that's what I thought waktu itiew. Drivie2 lah dari Jalan Pinang itiew, sempat melepasi Jalan Sultan Ismail, masuk masuk jer Federal Highway, depan that one Chinese School of the left side of Federal Highway itiew (if you're from KL heading towards Subang Jaya/ Shah Alam that is.. hehehe) - nah! Tayar terus kabbooooommm melertops u ols! Shiiiaall!!! Dang! I was in drag! ALONE! HELP!?!?!? At 3.30am!? What was I thinkin'!?!? Calling2 kengkawan semua, time2 tu lah phone batt kong lah itiew ini. And I thought to myself "No no, I cannot ask for help from just about anyone yang just lalu lalang kat sinik - silap2, kang lain nye jadiknye!!" So jadik, dengan gagah perkasannye mek tukar la tayar kereta tu sorang2, IN DRAG, IN HEELS! Hitam habis my tangan, jari2 semua. Chit!
  • Road Block - Polis Traffic
      • Ok, location: Jalan Ampang. It was after yet another show kat Bleu Bar. Was tired, sleepy, and, decided to not balik Subang and just balik Pandan Cahaya (rumah Glitters) So, ok la kan. Drive2 dari KL, masuk Jalan Ampang, sampai dedekat depan Cik Sit (Transit; Esso; Glenneagles?) mek tgk like a long queue. Aiyoh! Sahih road block! Mati la mek! Tapi, kind to think of it - dinch perlu worry sangat sebab mek dinch buat salah apa apa on the road ke, or ade sangkut dengan lesen ker, road tax ke ape ke - semua clear. So, why worry, kan? Buuuuzzz! Terlupakah aku yang aku dalam drag!? Jengjejeng.... As my car approached the sekatan itiew, police office itiew dah awal2 suluh my car, and as I bukak my window...

      Police: Dari mana nih? (sambil suluh2 my car yang penuh dengan barang2 show and 3 of Glitters.com members...)
      Me: Baru balik show, Encik...
      Police: Berhenti depan...

      NAHHHH THAT'S IT! Ape hal piula!?!?!?!

      Police: Mintak lesen dan IC... dan kawan2 awak punye IC sekali...
      Me: Ade ape ape masalah ke Encik? (as I handed him my ic and driver's licence plus my friends' ic semua..)

      He buat dekkk jer. Sambil belek2 my ic...

      Police: Nama sedap2 **** tapi muka melepak macam tikus terjun tepong!

      Haiyoh! Tikus terjun tepung katanye!?!?!? MEK SENTAP!!!! MEK MELU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hehehehehe...
  • Series of misunfortunate events! (dalam satu malam!)
      • It was on Saturday night, me and few drag queen friends decided nak gi Modestos Bangsar, happening!!! Semua decided nak drag light2 woman, pakai simple, make up light2. So oklah. Off we went to Bangsar. First sialanz, waktu queue nak masuk tu, NORMALLY mek lepas masuk sebelah perempuan. Tapi tah, malam tu, ape kes tah, bukan setakat my friends yang ade sorang dua MEMANG pecah romah kalau drag light2 (tapi kalau dragon heavy, memang dinch pecah lobang, tapi syarat, itiew la kan - kena BERTEPONG! Heheh), namun, MEK ALSO dihumban masuk ke lane guys yang tgh queue panjang nak bayar nak masuk. Haiyoh! Pecahan lobangan pertama malam itiew. So nevermind, mek pejam mata jer la bab itiew (walaupun itiew adelah satu petanda buruk yang banyak lagik bende buruk nak jadik malam itiew)

      The kes seterusnya berlaku DALAM Modestos itiew, di mana, me and one of my friends, both of us, di HALAU keluar dari toilet perempuan! MEK SENTAP ok! Kalau halau senyap2 tak pe, nih sampai ke pintu toilet those mothaf**kin'girls tu melalak - habis lahh pecah lobang lagik depan jantan2 depan bar itiew. Haiyoh! Hazab yaamats! Yang penting, mek dan kawan mek MEMANG DAH TAK TAHAN nak terkucil. NAK tak nak - MASUK JUGAK toilet laki! Hazabbbb! Kencing berdiris katanye sebab individual toilets memang queue gile malam itiew (napa lah nasib badan) dan mek memang dah tergedik2 tak tahan. HAIYOH! I pray that I will never have to meet those guys who saw a girl kuncing berdiri nih lagik! Hazab!

      Lepas tu, kehazaban malam itiew berterusan selepas itiew. Dah habis membinatangkan diri kat podium lah, kat dance floor lah, semua berpeluh light2 la kirenye - lepas tu decided nak gi minum kat Bangsar mamaks. Dan disitu lah kes cilhanataz paling hazabs yaamatz! 1stly, as one of my friends tgh garu2 kepala, wignye tetibe senget dan nearly jatuh. Dah orang perasan. Dan lepas tu, one of my friends perasan something...

      My friend: Nyeh, ape dot2 hitam tu u ols....
      Me: What, where??? (sambil keluarkan compact powder, nak tgk mirror la kan - dan terus touch up dengan compact powder. Is it what I think it is?)
      My friend: Nyeh!!!
      Me serentak with my friend: SUSUK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (YER, Susuk disini bukan bermaksud SUSUK ala ala susuk emas jarum perak intan berlian yang disumbat ke muka mek yer... SUSUK DISINI MEMBAWA ARTI - itu bulu buluan di bahagian atas bibir dan bawah lobang hedong tu lah!!!!)

      Owh my god! YA ampun! Sejak bile susuk nih dok ade nampak terang2an, mek dinch hui! Yang penting, it was BLOODY obvious dan kehijauan kehitaman pekat MEMANG JELAS kelihatan! Hazabbnye feeling make up light2! Biarler make up KELABU, janji jgn nampak obvious cam mek malam itiew!?!?!? NANGIS MEK LARI BALIK KE KERETA!!!
  • The Incredible Dragon!!!!
      • Maati la kau Feebies! Ko suke la kan citer nih!? Alkisahnye - I was about to perform kat Bleu Bar; Dah bersediap sedias nak start gelek buat show lagu Shakira - Eyes Like Yours. Condition Bleu Bar malam itiew, sangatlaaa penuh u ols. Space menari on the dance floor pon, very der limited sebab ramai duduk keliling tu. So ok lah. As diaorang dah announced nama mek, mek naik ke podium depan DJ itiew, pose siket, gelak2 sikit kang kengkawan yang dok ade keliling tu, senyum... sambil tangan mencanak naik memegang ceiling Bleu Bar tu (yer, mek sampai ok, sebab dah panjat Podium tu, harus lah senang tangan nak mencapai - alah, ceiling tu pun bukannye tinggi pong).

      And then, the music pon started, I was still doin' my posing, membontotkan diri kearah audience. And thennn, ade satu part tu, like, after the first 5 or 6 seconds after the music started (time nak masuk the real heavy music tu) - mek dengan semangatnye (sebab dah dengar sorakkan audience, kan? Lagi la semangat), telah menggelekkan bontot, tanpa melepaskan tangan dari ceiling tu, dan kemudianye........

      AIYOH!!! CEILING RUNTUH OK!!!!!!!!!! Serious u ols! Tanye Fiebs! Ceiling Blue Bar depan DJ console tu reban (runtuh) ok!!! Orang2 kat sekililing tu pulak kena pegangkan serpihan ceiling tu yang ade yang dah runtuh, ade yang still dok tergantung - cam sial tak? Me? What did I do? THE SHOW MUST GO ON! Tapi yang penting, sorakkan makin kuat, mek makin tergelak, show dah tak concentrate - dah jadik show org gila, dan yang terpenting sekali, ade sorang tu sorakkan mek "HAIYOH!!! CAYA LAH LADY!!! GAGAH BAGAIKAN JANTAN U OLS EK RUPENYE!!!!" LOL!!! Maaaati la siape yang sorakkan mek itiew! Mek tergelak2 sampai ke sudah ok! Ceiling runtuh katanye!?!?!? LOL!
    The highlighted spot dalam pic nih shows the keadaan ceiling tu sebelom kemusnahan Tsunalea

    Noticed tak kawasan yang sama sudah didecoratekan? Sebenarnye nak cover lah! Terpaksa dicover lah! Hazab lah keadaan ceiling tu akibat kemusnahan dilandai Tsunalea... LOL!



    Nurlea Laurielle Lai Lee Abdullah
    Like my page? Vote for me HERE!!! Thanks u ols!!!





    Posted at 2:48:32 am by Nurlea Laurielle Lai Lee Abdullah

    Abg Z
    July 5, 2005   10:48 AM PDT
     
    hahaha.....very funny....tergelak aku sorang2 pagi2 ni baca entry ni..
    Eureka
    July 5, 2005   04:31 PM PDT
     
    Terguling-guling gelak nih baca entry nih....kelakor giler...The best thing about this is your ability to see the funny side of things....I laugh with you darlin...not at you!!! Here's to another good entry by Lea!!! Cheers!!
    Simon
    July 7, 2005   12:29 AM PDT
     
    you look so hot in the red dress ....ahem ..all hard now ;-)
    Zach
    October 16, 2006   11:46 PM PDT
     
    Hei babe,

    Bila u nak hisap butoh i lagi....i miss ur blowjob...call me later kay..

    Zach



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